Having 2nd thoughts about nursing! This is just a rant to anyone who cares to read.

[pinedaw14]

I have always wanted to be a nurse, it has been a dream and goal of mine since childhood. Throughout nursing school I underwent all the emotions that one does through the nursing school program. Through all my struggles (which were many) I pushed through and overcame all the obstacles which ultimately led me to my childhood goal of being a nurse.I never once thought "Oh maybe nursing isn't for me after all the trails and stuggles". I always thought that I would be a pediatric nurse, but during Clinicals I quickly learned that maybe it wasn't for me. Since graduating I've worked at a SNF (11 months), Ortho/Neuro dept for which i cross-trained for neuro stepdown (17 months).I then moved to a different state and was having a difficult time finding a job which I then reached out to here for advise. It was suggested to me that I should try travel nursing, which I am currently doing. However, I told the agency that I would only take an offer that would allow me to commute from home. The hospital is 34 miles one way and I am almost always driving with traffic. I have to leave my house at least 2 hours earlier for extra cushion time because sometimes traffic is just that bad and yes I work night shift. Of course with each job comes its' challenges, example, Different computer systems, different environment, different equipment, different collegues/work dynamic etc. Ultimately where are there to provide the best care for our patient. However, for whatever reason I let all this "new environment" overly affect me. I feel really dumb sometimes because I don't know how to use a certain equipment or I can't find something in the chart etc. I would much rather look stupid and ask questions than to put my patients' in any kind of danger. I have always been slow at charting (attention to detail) so I've been staying very late charting and so far I haven't been told anything but I have a gut feeling that soon I'll be getting a talking to about "time management". sometimes I just feel like clocking out on time but still staying over to chart but that would probably get me into more trouble (you know Hippa). I know I have good bedside manners and a genuine care for people, but lately I've been having this OVERWHELMING feeling that I chose the wrong career and that I am not competent enough. I feel like I'm not critically thinking and not asking the great questions that a great nurse should asks themselves. For example, during report I ask very few questions, but when I am giving report I get asked MANY great questions to which sometimes I know and sometimes I have to look up. Then I think to myself why didn't I ask that (I figure that eventually I can dig in the chart and answer any questions I do have myself). I still feel flustered and get anxious when to many things are going on at the same time. I don't know if being off of work for 4 months has anything to do with this. My husband says that I should try going to days, but If I can barely finish what I have to do on nights, I don't know how i would handle a hectic day shift. He also tells me to give myself some time to adjust to this new environment and state. All this stress is giving me burnout and anxiety that I can feel myself different with my bedside manner. I still care about my patients and I am never rude to them but I do have less patience. Am I the only one who feels this way? I feel like getting a new job wouldn't fix this. My husband also tells me I should go to my initial interest of becoming a pediatric nurse. Do all my concerns warrant me to change career paths altogether?

[Ginger's Mom, MSN, RN]

wow, I think you have not found you area of nursing, perhaps working day shift closer to home would help. Also you need to break up your post into paragraphs hard to read,

[Libby1987]

Many years into my career I decided to advance and put myself in a new and challenging position. I did have years of experience in this particular field that layered a strong foundation so I had that advantage but the biggest advantage was the confidence in myself that I could learn it. That confidence came from getting through many past challenges amd it was more valuable than any previous experience that I brought with me.

The additional advantage was my attitude and perspective was that of beginning a paid internship. It was a job and I was/am dedicated to it but I made the decision to view it as being paid to learn a new skill set that would benefit me. That got me through both the doubtful times as well as thinking of all of the new butt kicking info as info I was getting to learn versus drowning in it. I just soaked it up and pushed through. I actually did my second to last first time for me big project where I began to feel overwhelmed when I saw all that it required in terms of unknown and quantity of requirements, on top of everything else that I am responsible for. But I stopped myself and said here's another skill I'm being paid to learn how to do.

I have one more new to me major project, an anticipated state survey. Are lives dependent on it? Yes, those of my staff and the owners of my company. If I blow it, if my program and staff aren't properly prepared, there will be deficiencies that will cause anxiety and layers of extra processes added to burden my staff. If I don't blow it I will have a heck of a success to put on my resume. I'm not going to blow it though because I work with a team that has many with experience and I'm not alone.

And neither are you. You have all of these seasoned nurses showing you what questions to ask, what info to have for next report. You have resources for things you're unfamiliar with. You have an opportunity to build a skill set that will be with you forever. Even if you change careers and never use it again, think how it will impact your confidence in future endeavors.

When you go to your next shift, your next report, look at it as an opportunity to soak up everything you can. No matter how tough the shift is, you are adding knowledge and experience everytime. Every shift you know more.

Persoanally if I wanted to do something different like peds, if that were my end game and knowing what I do now, I'd practice the intern mindset where you are now. That way you enter your goal job with more confidence in yourself and greatly increase your chance for success, in fact I think your success will be in the bag.

[Nori.Giselle]

It just seems like you haven't found your niche! Don't give up! Also I would consider employment closer to home. Start thinking about what it is that you want and go from there.

Also, What about your Peds clinicals makes you think it isn't for you?

[Buyer beware, BSN]

Find someone of like mind. Talk to them and lay your burden down.

Going from venue to venue has made you a stranger in a stange land and people being gregarious creatures for the most part know that one is the lonliest number.

[pinedaw14]

@ libby1987 This is honestly the best advice I've ever received. Thank you so much for reading my hard to read post and taking the time to respond so perfectly. I definitely need to work on confidence, I've always lacked it since childhood. Thank you again.

[pinedaw14]

Many years into my career I decided to advance and put myself in a new and challenging position. I did have years of experience in this particular field that layered a strong foundation so I had that advantage but the biggest advantage was the confidence in myself that I could learn it. That confidence came from getting through many past challenges amd it was more valuable than any previous experience that I brought with me.

The additional advantage was my attitude and perspective was that of beginning a paid internship. It was a job and I was/am dedicated to it but I made the decision to view it as being paid to learn a new skill set that would benefit me. That got me through both the doubtful times as well as thinking of all of the new butt kicking info as info I was getting to learn versus drowning in it. I just soaked it up and pushed through. I actually did my second to last first time for me big project where I began to feel overwhelmed when I saw all that it required in terms of unknown and quantity of requirements, on top of everything else that I am responsible for. But I stopped myself and said here's another skill I'm being paid to learn how to do.

I have one more new to me major project, an anticipated state survey. Are lives dependent on it? Yes, those of my staff and the owners of my company. If I blow it, if my program and staff aren't properly prepared, there will be deficiencies that will cause anxiety and layers of extra processes added to burden my staff. If I don't blow it I will have a heck of a success to put on my resume. I'm not going to blow it though because I work with a team that has many with experience and I'm not alone.

And neither are you. You have all of these seasoned nurses showing you what questions to ask, what info to have for next report. You have resources for things you're unfamiliar with. You have an opportunity to build a skill set that will be with you forever. Even if you change careers and never use it again, think how it will impact your confidence in future endeavors.

When you go to your next shift, your next report, look at it as an opportunity to soak up everything you can. No matter how tough the shift is, you are adding knowledge and experience everytime. Every shift you know more.

Persoanally if I wanted to do something different like peds, if that were my end game and knowing what I do now, I'd practice the intern mindset where you are now. That way you enter your goal job with more confidence in yourself and greatly increase your chance for success, in fact I think your success will be in the bag.[/quote. @ libby1987 This is honestly the best advice I've ever received. Thank you so much for reading my hard to read post and taking the time to respond so perfectly. I definitely need to work on confidence, I've always lacked it since childhood. Thank you again.