Having 2nd thoughts I think....

[pyt86]

I'm currently in an LPN program and we just started Med Surg. Im just not sure if I can do it...It's not the material or tests. I think it may just be not enough confidence in clinicals. I don't want to run away from it because of fear but I can't determine if its just I'm scared to mess up or if I just really don't want to do this. I'm scared either way. I'm holding back tears now as I'm just really stressed as to what would be the right decision for me. We did basic clinicals already which is basically just cna work. I also worked as a cna before and hated it. My problem is that I have a son who is 3 and my grandparents and mom have been extremely helpful with him while I've been in school. I also work part time. They have stated over and over that they are there and will do whatever they have to to get me through school. So I feel like if I did back out I would be letting them down and will feel very very bad after everything they have done to help with my son. Also if I do get out I don't know what I would do (as far as career wise), I do have some ideas but then that would take even longer. I also feel bad because I feel like I would be letting my son down. I want to just have a career and be able to solely provide for my son and I. I don't know if part of it is that I'm just tired of school or if I'm just so scared and not confident that I'm turning it into me not liking it so I can back out. Has anyone else felt this way?

I don't know if possibly work is adding more stress as I work 5-9 mon, tues, thurs, fri. And school is full time mon-wed 8-2, clinicals thurs and fri from 645-2. Then in March and until we graduate in June clinicals will be wed-fri I feel like I would be able to study and focus more if I did quit but I have things I need to pay for and don't like to rely on people more than I need to. I know nobody can tell me whats best and ultimately I will have to figure it out but it's nice to vent instead of working it over and over in my mind.

[rzyzzy]

You most certainly aren't the first person to have 2nd thoughts as you go through nursing school - FWIW, my experience was very negative @ the beginning, but as you rotate through different areas of the hospital, you're very likely to find some area you really really like. For some of my classmates that was peds or ob - my favorite area was the cath lab - It'll take even more school to get a job there (they only hire RN's in my area) - but after spending just one clinical day there, I found the niche that really appeals to me.

Take things one day at a time, one clinical at a time, one "hurdle" at a time, and don't assume that one tough test, one bad instructor, or one grumpy nurse @ clinicals is how your entire school experience will be - you'll get the "good" instructor, the "good" nurse or the "easy" test one of these days - probably when you least expect it.

But you have to be there when your kharma pays you back.

[jala]

I haven't started school yet, but rzyzzy, your post is very uplifting. I'll have to remember this when I go through school. (Hang in there pty86. You're on your way, you just started med surg, give it time, you don't want regrets later, give it all you've got before thinking of quitting. You're very lucky to have strong support.)

[pyt86]

Thanks alot rzyzzy as jala said your post was very uplifting and I appreciate it. I'm sure there may be more days like this but yes I do plan to keep going. I just tend to think way too much and over analyze things. I'm sure that may be part of it. But I went to clinicals today and it may not seem like a big deal to anyone else but I think I got a sign that I need to keep going. I went into a pts rm and they had a pottery piece that had a poem on it titled "Don't Quit". I read it and it was like it was made exactly for me. Coincidence maybe but I kinda prayed about it and asked for direction and guidance and I feel like that was his answer to me. I know it may be hard at times but I'm not going to give up especially being half way done.

[Hypoxia]

I am having same problem. I feel like I don't have much confidence for clinicals. I have worked at a retirement home for 4 or 5 years as a waitress and 10 months as a CNA. I have no hospital experience at all and it seems like everyone else in my class has. So I am worried about going to the hospital

[ejm99]

You don't have to LOVE clinicals. Many of us don't. Not every rotation will appeal to you and some will be heartbreaking (we are about to work at a LTC children's 'home' so I'm gearing myself emotionally)....but as hard as it will be I know that this is the right thing for me. There is nothing to say you have to work as a bedside nurse...you could go work at a Dr.'s office, a community clinic, even take an administrative position.

I think your on the right road. You had your doubts. you shared your fears and rather than let your fear lead you; you turned to the one person you knew wouldn't lead you in the wrong direction.

One thing that helps me is that I listen to Christian radio ... I sing along w/ the songs I know and it really brightens my outlook and reminds me of how God's grace has gotten me through the difficult times. I get to my clinicals w/ a better attitude and a willingness to learn and let God use me to help those who need it....which is why I want to be a nurse anyway. Good luck...and many prayers!

[DaniJeffries1]

Hang in there! You CAN do it! I remember the fear of clinicals, and taking patients into my own hands, its scary and hard, but like everything else it becomes routine. DONT quit now! you have made it far, and it is a good career that opens the door for many other opportunities... I remember how it was working full time and school, but soon it will be over and well worth it. Dont do it for your family or your son, do it for you!

I have faith that you can finish and pull through this tough time, remember lots of us have felt like you do, and it can be daunting. You will be in my thoughts!