Have another baby now or wait till after nursing school??

Published

Im 30 years old and my bio clock is ticking loudly. I think about babies daily!!

But I want to be a nurse!!

Here's my background:

I am married one year with a 5 y o daughter from ex. He also has 3 kids from previous relationship. He currently works 2 full time jobs . Lately I have been feeling the urge to have another baby, as my child is going to first grade. I do however want to go to nursing school but it would take me at least another 2 1/2 years to finish. We are not in the best financial situation but overall we are doing ok. I would like to advance in my career and double my current salary. I am confused as to where I should bring a baby into this now and go to nursing school in 2015 or go against my biological clock which is ticking loudly. I don't want to continue to struggle. He wants to have a baby as well I just don't know if Im ready. Please help maybe its just hormones, lol

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Medical-Surgical, Pediatrics.

I understand completely because I have been going through this lately. I have a two year old son and I am 30 years too. The program I applied to is about 2 1/2-3 years. I don't want to wait too long in between each to have a baby, but I don't want to struggle while going to school. Right now, I think we both feel we should wait at least until I know I am in the program and I program try to conceive that last year of the program. I was taking teacher certification classes while pregnant with my son and while it was a struggle, I managed and was able to finish before giving birth. Have you applied to a program already? If you haven't applied yet, you could wait for another year and you can probably manage the classes better. Good Luck!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ER.

Nursing school was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. My son was 4 months old when I started the pre-requisites and he was a perfect baby. He had a consistent bed time, got up at 7am, and it was very very hard. I had a routine to study AFTER he went to bed (1930 hrs every night), so as to have time for the family in the evening after school all day. I was very lucky with him. (My second baby, that never would have worked, he was not a routine baby. Never slept and ALWAYS awake) I had nightly studying and huge amounts of coffee, bed by midnight and up at 7am. I would study every minute of most days. Routine was key. I would fit in time to work out and would study when I was on the elliptical. It really was hell. I was 28 at the time. I had our second child pretty much the week after graduating I got pregnant. I would not recommend the distraction of a baby, if you have the option. I would wait and do it after nursing school, as it's difficult to devote 100% to each, to be fair, you are going to more involved with your baby and family. It's a balance, to be sure, but one that IF YOU CAN choose to wait, I'd wait a bit and plan it out.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I'm about 8-9 years older than you, but I waited until I was done with school at age 35 to "have a baby". Sadly, the baby never materialized. There are no known issues other than my age. So, the biological clock is very real and should not be taken lightly.

On the other hand, I feel much more capable of taking care of a child (and of myself) than I did at a younger age. And luckliy, I can afford the thousands of dollars worth of tests and treatments that just might create the need for a baby crib. The younger me could barely afford electricity and a bus pass.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in PICU.

Me personally, would put having a family first, because we have no control over our biological clocks, but we can choose when we start and finish school. Since you're already 30 and your daughter is getting older, I would have another child first, then finish school. Now, if you were in your 20's you would have a little more time to focus on school first, then have a baby. Our biological clocks don't wait. But that's just my 2 cents. Others my have a different opinion. I have a 15 year old who will be 16 next month, a 3 year old and a 9 month old... I'm 36. I will be finished with my last pre req this fall and applying to nursing school for the fall 2014. So, I am speaking from experience. It's never too late to go to school, but unfortunately for women, it can be too late to have babies.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

IMHO, he is already working two jobs and you want to add a baby and nursing school into the mix.. not a good idea. Nursing school is the hardest thing I have ever done. I am a wife, mother to three teenagers and I understand your desire for children, however when you start nursing school something will have to give. Meaning, there aren't enough hours in the day to do everything you need to and you have to let some things go, for me it meant my house wasn't as clean as I liked it and I missed out on many kids activities. there is the other portion you have to consider... your marriage. You don't want to strain it to the point where it breaks.

Everyone is different, and the only one who can decide what is right for your and your family is you, but I think you are putting undue stress onto yourself and your relationships. No one is saying not to go for your dreams (babies and/or nursing school), but you may just have to go for them one at a time. Why not finish nursing school so you can get a job as an RN so maybe your hubby can quit one of his jobs... then have the baby

Good luck to you

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion