Hating nurses....

[brentster_us]

Well, I can't believe that so many people responded! Thanks a lot for that, really. Well, I suppose first let me explain that I do NOT 'hate' "all" nurses. It was a generalized statement, I should have worded myself more clearly. For that I apologize. However, I think that most knew that my frustration level was/is through the roof and did not take offense to it. Anyway, the most of replies basically told me to ignore them and not leave nursing because of bad people that I work with. I've thought about it all day and your right, I worked way to hard for way too long to throw it away. I just don't really know where to start with making a change in my attitude so that I can ignore these people. Kill them with kindness was suggested, and again I just don't know how. I am a very blunt person and my 9 years active military made me have the ability to communicate with people very well. However, the military plays by different rules. I'm just now sure how to speak to these people about their unfairness toward me without retaliation. Any ideas?

[Jules A, MSN]

Maybe I've been lucky because most of the nurses I work with are totally cool and the few that aren't I mostly just ignore. What I have found is that while someone may get on my nerves today they might be ok to work with tomorrow so its probably more about my state of mind than theirs. Anyway the only advice I'd offer is that if your team is truly horrible find another job and if not keep an open mind, change your attitude and hope for the best.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Another thing is to stop and take an inventory. Is this happening with every nursing job? How many jobs? How many people? Can you get along with most and it's only a few at each job that turn you away? Or you can you not get along with most nurses.

If it's most people you can't get along with in nursing, then take a look in the mirror and realize that perhaps the change is not going to occur with them (trust me it isn't) and is going to have to come from within. Learning to "play well with others" is something we all have to learn. It's definitely a different mentality out there in the civilian world than the military world. (Army brat here.)

Google and read the book "Crucial Confrontations" and learn how to communicate with them, if it's just a few people because ignoring them probably isn't going to give you any peace of mind.

We can't always get along with everyone, but we need not be miserable either. Being treated unfairly is totally unacceptable and you must stand your ground. This is where "Crucial Confrontations" comes in handy. But also we have to learn which battles are important for us to fight, which to put on hold, and which to let go.

[chicookie, BSN, RN]

Be a kiss up. I know you don't want to but that is what works for me. Even little things like Oh I love your scrub top or oh I like how I do this and this. Its always worked for me. Patience is a must though, you have to say that over and over till they lighten up which they will eventually.