Has anyone else ever had doubts about working health care?

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So for as long as I can remember, I have always wanted to work health care. My original goal was to get my BSN and work as an RN. I got into an LPN straight out of high school and started there.

During my clinical rotations was when I first second guessed myself. I had patients who I felt were overly needy and they just annoyed me. I felt like a baby sitter waiting hand and foot on some patients. I hated that I felt that way, because not all of them were like that. They were short on RNs to shadow so I got to shadow PAs, PTs, Podiatrists and Surgeons and liked more of what they do.

After graduating LPN school, I started working on my prerequisites for PA and avoided working as LPN as best as I could. I decided to give it a try again for a government overseas LPN job working primary care. It's been a year and I'm miserable at this job. I've almost completed my prerequisites for my choice PA schools but the thought of not getting to specialize and basically having to work primary care is something I don't want to chance.

I'm so stressed because working some type of health care job is all I've ever done with my life and never even thought of doing anything outside of health care. I've looked into going to PT school, I need a few classes before I meet those prerequisites but I'm not sure any more. I've always felt sure about what I wanted to do as a career with a few changes.

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So for as long as I can remember, I have always wanted to work health care. My original goal was to get my BSN and work as an RN. I got into an LPN straight out of high school and started there.

During my clinical rotations was when I first second guessed myself. I had patients who I felt were overly needy and they just annoyed me. I felt like a baby sitter waiting hand and foot on some patients. I hated that I felt that way, because not all of them were like that. They were short on RNs to shadow so I got to shadow PAs, PTs, Podiatrists and Surgeons and liked more of what they do.

After graduating LPN school, I started working on my prerequisites for PA and avoided working as LPN as best as I could. I decided to give it a try again for a government overseas LPN job working primary care. It's been a year and I'm miserable at this job. I've almost completed my prerequisites for my choice PA schools but the thought of not getting to specialize and basically having to work primary care is something I don't want to chance.

I'm so stressed because working some type of health care job is all I've ever done with my life and never even thought of doing anything outside of health care. I've looked into going to PT school, I need a few classes before I meet those prerequisites but I'm not sure any more. I've always felt sure about what I wanted to do as a career with a few changes.

Is it possible that you don't have a good understanding of what it means to be a "grown up"? Very few of us are lucky enough to skip to work with a song in our hearts on a daily basis. If it were that great, they wouldn't pay us to be there, right?

I don't know the right path for you, but know that there will be negatives with any line of work you happen to choose. Focusing on the positives and creating a good home life is what seems to keep most people OK ...even happy.

I wish you well.

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@Sour Lemon

It's taken me a long time thinking about your response. I understand why your name is sour lemon. I found you to be just as spiteful and negative as all my coworkers and other nurses I've experienced. At the time of me posting this, I was in the early stages of what I would later find out is burnout. I hated myself and felt like I was the worst nurse that ever existed because I could not find any joy in my job and seemed to be the only one experiencing it. It turned into arguments and resentment towards my leadership, coworkers as well as patients. I was later pulled off to the side by the part time therapist in the clinic and that was when I was told what I was experiencing and exhibiting were signs of burnout. It was not because I didn't know what being a "grown up" was and I know not every aspect of work is enjoyable but this was something different and you are just like all the others who told me to just suck it up.

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On 3/7/2019 at 10:02 AM, giggles6814 said:

@Sour Lemon

It's taken me a long time thinking about your response. I understand why your name is sour lemon. I found you to be just as spiteful and negative as all my coworkers and other nurses I've experienced. At the time of me posting this, I was in the early stages of what I would later find out is burnout. I hated myself and felt like I was the worst nurse that ever existed because I could not find any joy in my job and seemed to be the only one experiencing it. It turned into arguments and resentment towards my leadership, coworkers as well as patients. I was later pulled off to the side by the part time therapist in the clinic and that was when I was told what I was experiencing and exhibiting were signs of burnout. It was not because I didn't know what being a "grown up" was and I know not every aspect of work is enjoyable but this was something different and you are just like all the others who told me to just suck it up.

How are you now? Hope you are doing well.

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On 3/13/2019 at 11:45 PM, PhatRN said:

How are you now? Hope you are doing well.

I did what everyone said and took about 5 months off work. My bachelor's degree in Health Sciences wasn't enough to get a different job with just an LPN background as the only openings were senior level for healthcare administrators or supervisors. I ended up taking a job in home health while I wait for school to start for IT so I could help with the bills. A few months later and I'm back to feeling that same resentment for nursing that I thought I left at my last job. My last day of nursing is next week and will be taking a job as a cashier while I finish my IT school. I have never been so excited.

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Have I ever had doubts about working in healthcare? Basically every single day. I got more respect as a waitress serving people buffalo wings than I do as an RN (i.e. waitress in scrubs) serving buffalo wings to hypertensive, diabetic patients because hey, gotta get those patient satisfaction scores ?

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Specializes in ICU.

Nope. Cannot relate whatsoever. When i'm not at my job, im daydreaming and remembering how amazing it was. I get excited to go to work, its the highlight of my week. i LOVE working as a Nurse. I LOVE helping people in ANYWAY whatsoever. I love being needed & being there for my patients. I love that I finally found a job I'm actually good at. It fulfills me more than I ever imagine. Legit, the greatest feeling in the world to know I made a difference in the world & was able to help someone, even if its just helping them toilet.

It definitely sounds like nursing isn't for you, especially since you're so excited to leave. Just the thought of never being able to be a nurse again feels me with so much dread and anxiety.. I cannot imagine and don't want to live my life without nursing.

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Thank you to those who shared some of their similarities and support. I'm happy to announce I was successful in my IT studies and received a certification in security+ and start work in the IT field next week. I never went back to nursing, or pursued other health care related fields as I had previously planned several years ago. The only regret is not walking away earlier and being honest with myself that I was truly unhappy and it wasn't the type of work environment.

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