how did you handle your first patient death?

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Specializes in Psych, Hospice, Surgical unit, L&D/Postpartum.

I remember my first death I was a pct on a med/surg floor and I was doing my vital sign rounds and I entered a private room, went in offered small talk but realized the patient was still asleep so I went to put the cuff on and noticed his arm was ice cold. I tried to rouse him and with no luck I left the room and got the charge nurse. She came in and said he's dead, and his nurse forgot to inform me. I thought I was gonna die right there because I never thought this would be the way I would of been introduced to my first expired patient. To make matters worse, I had to clean him up myself for the first time and I knew nothing of the gurgles and such that comes out of the dead. So to say the least I had an uneasy first experirnce. What about your experiences??

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Specializes in LTC/Rehab,Med/Surg, OB/GYN, Ortho, Neuro.

Several firsts for me:

I was a CNA, did not have this resident, but wanted to assist w/ post-mortem care as I had never done it before, nor had I been around someone that had expired. I don't know her hx other than some kind of cancer, but every time we turned her, blood kept pouring out of every orifice (we used 3 large bio bags for the towels). Gave me nightmares for a few weeks, but it got better.

First time I had a pt expire and I was their nurse. I worked on a med-surg floor, had just gotten report, and being the brand new nurse that I was, was trying to prioritize according to Maslow. Of my 6 pts, she actually was my least urgent to go see (forget why she was hospitialized, although I knew that it had nothing to do w/ her cancer). About 25 min into me hitting the floor, my CNA came to tell me that she had passed. I freaked out internally. I was tending to a new onset DVT, pneumonia in severe respiratory distress, and trying to get blood started on another, THIS was not supposed to happen. I questioned my judgment abilities for a looong time, then one of my charge nurses took me aside, talked to me, and helped me cope w/ that.

My first code. Pretty slow night on the floor, wishing for something to happen (I've learned to not do that anymore). Hear a code being called in the ER, my charge nurse tells me to go. I'm the last person to get there (had recently broken my leg, and was still in a walking boot hobbling down 2 flights of stairs). I entered the room and just like in a movie, everyone parts away and I see the tiniest little feet and a pair of girls Huggies diapers. We worked on her for over an hour. This little 6 month old baby. She didn't make it. I questioned why I came into nursing, seriously contemplated quitting. Took a lot of soul-searching and praying to realize that there is someone w/ much more power than we mere mortals can ever hope to achieve.

The first time someone expired that I had grown close to.

The first time someone expired that I was glad to finally see them out of pain.

The first PITA pt that expired and the guilt I felt for wishing they were gone.

Many firsts, many deaths, but each one brought me more insight into myself and the ability to provide quality nursing care.

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Specializes in Assisted Living Nurse Manager.

I just expierenced my first death yesterday, it is an expierence I will never forget. I am the only nurse on and I was called to the dining room and was told the resident looks like they fell asleep, but they are twitching. I get to the dining room and when I saw the resident I knew. There was no response and the resident was getting cold and clammy. I told someone to call 911, he was helped to the floor and we started CPR (we did have a face mask). It seemed like forever before the paramedics arrived. It was and very ugly and unexpected death! I had never done CPR before, but your brain goes on autopilot and you just get the job done. I question whether or not I want to still be a nurse. I am sick to my stomach and am having a hard time assimilating this into my brain. I took today off because I need to regroup.

If anyone has any ideas on how to cope, it would be appreciated!

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Specializes in Peds, Med-Surg, Disaster Nsg, Parish Nsg.
I just expierenced my first death yesterday, it is an expierence I will never forget. I am the only nurse on and I was called to the dining room and was told the resident looks like they fell asleep, but they are twitching. I get to the dining room and when I saw the resident I knew. There was no response and the resident was getting cold and clammy. I told someone to call 911, he was helped to the floor and we started CPR (we did have a face mask). It seemed like forever before the paramedics arrived. It was and very ugly and unexpected death! I had never done CPR before, but your brain goes on autopilot and you just get the job done. I question whether or not I want to still be a nurse. I am sick to my stomach and am having a hard time assimilating this into my brain. I took today off because I need to regroup.

If anyone has any ideas on how to cope, it would be appreciated!

What an unexpected experience this must have been for all involved. We expect some patients to die......but not someone we work with....not like this. I'm sure alot of folks are suffering emotional distress after this one.

You might find some helpful information in the staff blog entitled Nurses Coping with Personal Grief

Feel free to post your stories about your personal experiences with death and how those experiences have affected you.

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Specializes in ED.

It wasn't my first death, but I remember a rather awkward situtation I had with a pt death. I was a relatively new nurse and it was one of my first times assigned to trauma and we had a cardiac arrest come in (we use the trauma room for codes if it is available). The doctor was a guy who didn't like being a doctor. He hated all the patients and wasn't a particularly good doctor. So this pt died and had like 30 family members piled in one of the rooms. The doctor was like "come talk to the family with me." So I go in there and he says "You're the husband? So the ambulance brought your wife here and we gave her some medicine but, yeah she's dead," and then he walked out. So I was left standing there with a bunch of screaming family members.

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I was working as a tech during the summer between my Fr. and Jr. year of nursing school. As techs we got to work all over the hospital. For 2 days I got pulled to the neuro floor. The nurses there were well known for their craziness and pranks. Little did I know-I was about to become a statistic.

First evening went uneventfully.

Second evening...

We took report and I went happily down the hall doing vital signs. Walked into a 4 bed ward and got around to bed 4 chattering away. (I talk to everyone-comatose, confused etc) Wrap the cuff around his arm-start pumping it up...then I notice his chest wasn't moving...check his pulse...AHHH!! no pulse. The amazing thing was that his color wasn't any different than the day before!

Here I come zipping to the nurses station. They are laughing themselves silly. "Mr. SoSO isn't breathing!!! They said...yea we know. He passed while we were in report.

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