Grandmas medication record used in custody dispute

[410erika]

Would like some advice please...

My sons short lived ex girlfriend is the mother of my only grandchild age 2. She is an R.N. working in a hospital. She has initiated a custody and visitation dispute that is very ugly.

While they were a couple she blabbed to our family about her distant sister, self medicating with marijuana (legal in this state) for "migraines", history of commitment in a psych hospital a few times and is a hypochondriac. She "hoped she never had children as shes crazy and doesn't want to work" and "good thing she lives so far away because I would never let her babysit our baby, she'd be stoned all day". She also bad mouthed her estranged parents and other sister.

A couple months later, her crazy sister moved in next door, they resolved their issues and she is now babysitting full time against our sons wishes. We all worry that this woman has been neglecting baby and smoking pot in her presence. Baby cries and vomits nearly every time the exchange takes place.

She and our son will be heading to court shortly as she wants to cut his visitation shorter. The court order was just issued months ago giving him equal time which she is very mad about. He is bringing this information to the judge as well as another safety concern. When she found this out she texted him something that really bothers me. She stated that "I Grandma, am unfit to babysit as I use a certain opioid/dose all the time"

It is true. I have a chronic pain condition and have had an Intrathecal pump since 2005 which delivers an opioid. I sometimes take it in pill form. I have never abused drugs or alcohol. I see a pain specialist every 3 months and my PCP every month. I have no problems with side effects and both my doctors have agreed. I have no issues taking care of my grandchild and seldom see her as we live in another state.

We suspect she gained access to the state prescription monitoring database to obtain this information. This information is very personal and not something I share with others. How she would know the drug and dose makes me suspect this. I will be calling the hospital requesting an audit trail be done.

As an R.N. does she have access the PDMD even though I've never been a patient in that hospital? Otherwise how would she know his information, my husband and son don't have a clue about the drug/dose?

Thank you

[Hoosier_RN, MSN]

Maybe another relative blabbed this? Maybe your son did accidentally, or when things were better between them, she knew? I'm management in my clinic, and cannot access that, a person must have special permissions, etc. Not sure how it works in your state. But I think the audit trail is a good place to start

[caliotter3]

You may have to get legal help to obtain the information you are seeking. At any rate, I hope your son has legal representation in this matter. BTW, the only legal advice we can give on this site is to recommend that someone seek legal advice from an attorney. Sounds like a valid worry. Hoping for a positive resolution. BTW, just because a person does not have authorized access to something does not mean they did not gain access in an unauthorized manner.

[410erika]

I'm positive another family member didn't blab. Family consists of myself, husband,two adult sons and grand baby in two different states. My involved son had no idea what I am prescribed pump or oral. My condition is a very private matter that I discuss with a few close friends per my doctors advice, due to my having opioids in the home. My son doesn't want to hear details of his mother's "female problems". He was confused and flabbergasted when she made the statement! The knowledge she had of drug/dose is highly suspect. My issues were never shared with her because she is very judgemental and knows more than any physician lol She is also anti opioid, often telling stories of patients who acted like babies and she would make them wait longer to get their pain meds. This was very disturbing to us, it was prior to her delivering a baby and begging for an epidural. Karma's a b!tch!

My son does have legal representation. The attorney will be informed of text messages pertaining to the matter. I will wait until I hear results of the audit before I pursue this further.

This situation is very painful. For her to make such a statement making me out to be a dug addict is just plain sad! We have been nothing but kind, including her in an overseas family vacation paid for by us, financial help etc.

Thank you for your comments!

[NurseBlaq]

You told other people, maybe she or someone she knows also knows those "few close friends."

I think the whole situation sounds messy. If lawyers are involved then let them handle it. We only know the situation from your son's POV. You should stay out of it.