Grandbaby arrived safely, BUT...

[reprise]

it was little thanks to the attending midwives. I am angry beyond measure at the way my daughter was treated by her attending midwives last night and I know that I *should* be grateful that grandbaby was safely delivered and all of that.

I'm way too tired right now to compose a formal complaint, but for the sake of all the other teen mums who come after my daughter, I intend to ensure that no midwife who ever works that hospital again has the opportunity to tell a labouring woman that she's just being a "sook" and it's not *really hurting* because she's only been in labour for an hour and a half and has hours to go yet. From spontaneous ROM to birth was just under 5 hours. From first contraction to birth was 3 hours. The ambos had TOLD the midwives that her membranes had ruptured and that her contractions were 4 and a half minutes apart during the ambulance ride to the hospital.

I hope that the experience my daughter had was exceptional and that most midwives do not assume that because someone is 18 and it's their first baby that they are just "being a sook" and that they can't possibly be in *real* pain because their membranes only ruptured 90 minutes ago.

Thank goodness for the anaesthetist on duty actually listening and hitting the room within 5 minutes of the call (in spite of the midwives telling her "not to hurry). Thank goodness also that she actually listened to my daughter and not the midwives and managed to calculate the appropriate dose so finely that it took the edge of a rather tumultuous labour without in any way compromising her ability to push. Baby was born 50 minutes after the epidural was given. Normally, it takes 30 minutes for the anaesthesia people to even hit the ward, let alone set up the epidural. I guess she must have seen enough babies who are the exception the the rule to know that you can't count on the one centimetre per hour rule and you especially can't count on it in women who hit the door and 5 cm and were 8 cm 45 minutes later.

We get to debrief. We're part of a longterm project specifically aimed at teenaged mums and producing better outcomes for them and their babies. I am utterly appalled at the assumptions which were implicit in the way my daughter was treated. Ironically, the post-natal nurses are telling her that she *cannot* come home until at least tomorrow morning and until they've have seen her bath the baby at least once. *The doctors won't let you* is what she was told when she said she wanted out of there at lunchtime today. I reminded her that the hospital policies and the preferences of the staff are not law and promised her that if she still feels tomorrow morning that the staff are treating her like crap because she's only 18 that I will help her sign out AMA and take her to a facility which doesn't assume that "young and pregnant" equals "stupid and pregnant".

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Sounds like they need a good lesson in pain control.

As for the last paragraph, most nurses are aware that hospitals are not prisons. They should have explained the policies and let your daughter make up her own mind, presenting her with an AMA form. I'm sure they weren't making up the policies just because they thought your daughter was a stupid teen. Discharge policies are in place for a reason, but they don't have to be ogres about.

Congrats on the baby!

[fergus51]

I second that, there is nothing worse than a midwife telling a woman she isn't in pain. As far as discharge, when I worked pp we had all first time parents demonstrate a bath before discharge whenever possible (we had them do all the normal baby care stuff), not just younger moms.

[wonderbee, BSN, RN]

It is unfortunate that young moms, especially first-timers, have to have the experience your daughter had. I saw it all too commonly on my OB rotation. Where is the compassion?

Congratulations on your grandbaby!! I have one coming any day now too.

[rjflyn, ASN, RN]

Guess i'm the first to notice where the poster is located. Sydney- That may have something to do with the way you were treated or in may not. Could be a cultural thing or maybe not. Do know that it does seem teen moms get the short end of caring sometimes.

Also a bit of advice just because your daughter may feel like she is ready to go home the baby may not be. I have seen many a 24-36 hour old babys turn yellow and end up having to stay a third day for treatment.

Rj