This is a great thread and all are very funny. Not ER specific, but in a hospital I worked in, the cath area and others (not especially funny, but..) crumped = deceased. I have my elderly parents & friends now using the lingo. I think that is the most fun.
Allstateitis........neck and back pain after very minor MVC's with no damage to the vehicle, arrive fully backboarded of course!
CTD.....circling the drain
FUBAR.....f'''ed up beyond all recognition
Vit H.......Haldol
Vit A.......Ativan
TNTC........complaints "too numerous to count"
Fluttering eye syndrome.....pretending to be unconcious
Magic tylenol/motrin..........ER tylenol/motrin, that somehow manages to break the fever that the home tylenol/motrin couldn't break
Magic wand.... as in "I forgot my magic wand" when seeing a pt. at 3:30 am on a saturday night who c/o any problem that they have had for numerous years but they decide now it's an emergency and it needs to be checked out.
TTD....Trying to die, as in the nursing home pt. that is a DNR but sent to the ED to take their last breath, usually taken enroute on the ambulance!
Human purse.....female psych pts. that insert odd objects into their lady partss
ie. paper, wire, bottle caps, their hospital ID bracelet, ect..........
Crazy as a s''t house rat.......no explaination needed
Acadamy award winners........Drama Queens/Kings
Doing the shakey dance...having a seizure
Goat herder.......pt. that stinks to high heaven from bad hygeine
Turkey wrap........homemade bandages made from paper towels, toliet paper, wash cloth...etc taped with electrical tape, masking tape, etc....
Scratchers.... so-called suicide attempts made by scratching your wrists with a sharp object, usually very superficial wounds.
Sponge........pts. who can handle large amounts of narcotics and constantly ask for more
Medical Genius or amateur MD/nurse.......Those pts. who "know everything" but who's greatest educational accomplishment was learning how to write their name!
Some I can't even post here because some folks would take offense...That's why I love ER nurses, we help our sanity by having morbid sense of humors.
Specializes in SICU CICU NICU PICU ER Flight, Cath Lab.
Tachy Lawdia with junctional sweet Jesus's
That's the little old lady that rolls in saying, "Lawdy, lawdy, lawdy, lawdy. Lawdy, lawdy, lawdy. Lawdy, lawdy, lawdy, SWEET Jesus!!, lawdy, lawdy, lawdy.
Specializes in SICU CICU NICU PICU ER Flight, Cath Lab.
The Humanity is shown in how you treat your patient and the skill and care that you provide to them. Not in how you blow off steam in the break room or on your own time. When you begin to work with a lot of people you see, unfortunately a lot of stupidity. We have to laugh. Many people make mistakes or exercise bad judgement and get injured. We all do that! The ones who know better or who wantonly do the fantastically stupid are who we, and the darwin awards, make fun of. . .it is the act and the lack of two functioning brain cells that makes us nuts. What tears us up is the innocent who are harmed and killed by these fools. Now I'm getting angry trying to explain the stupidity so you might understand. It's get angry or laugh about it, it is healthier to laugh! As much as I might lilke to provide high dose slap therapy to the fools of our world I don't, I shake my head and laugh instead, AFTER they and thier victims are cared for.
Poor well meaning Amber. She's got AGAC.
AGAC=ain't got a clue.
I'd almost forgotten that one.
We know your heart is in the right place, Amber. But some of the finest nurses I've ever known were also some of the funniest. We give our all to our patients but when we are alone with our peers we find it's better to laugh with each other than drink a fifth of jack daniels and divert some narcotics.
Oh wait, sometimes we actually laugh and drink the jack.
milky
41 Posts
PITA: Pain in the A**