Got into CRNA school. now cold feet?

philcaloha · Dec 12, 2016

I think it's a great field. People get caught into the whole salary thing, which is fine, but being a CRNA is not really much about the money, but the passion to do the things you do. Sure, we all need to make a living, and a job that pays well certainly makes us feel better. Many of us are doing quite well as RNs, making a lot more than the average joe. Back at the bedside, I used to bring home more than 150K a year, only working 4 days a week. As an SRNA now, I realized that with anesthesia, you can't just do it for the money, you have to like doing anesthesia for you to survive.

As a bedside nurse, there's quite a lot of responsibilities, but you have other nurses and doctors to help and assist. As a CRNA, you may be on your own with little help, and people expect you to function right off of school. There's a lot more responsible and like every other SRNA and CRNA will tell you on here, if anything happens to your patient...it's always anesthesia's fault.

In the end, do you enjoy doing it? Only shadowing can answer that.... Will loans and being away from family pay off in the future? Yes, but only if you like what you're doing. Keep in mind there's lots of politics within the anesthesia community and that being a CRNA not only means providing anesthesia, but also giving back to the anesthesia community by attending conferences to better ourselves and fight for the profession.

jenep · Dec 17, 2016

Thanks so much, I needed to hear this as well!

RNDude2012 · Jan 17, 2017

It sounds like you are worried about 1) finances and 2) if CRNA is right for you? I'd like to give you my thoughts on both of these...
I think it is normal to worry about finances, especially when you have little ones and you are helping to support family members (that is highly commendable by the way!). Every time I accepted the full amount of the student loan offered, I felt some moments of stress but I kept pushing it away to focus on surviving.
I have been a CRNA for 2.5 years. I have a total of 200K in debt from my out of state undergrad and from my private university I attended for CRNA (I knew what I was getting into when I started this). My take home pay after taxes and after putting aside the max for retirement is about 8k-11k per month depending on how much overtime I felt like working that month. My student loan payment is $1500 (I call it my second mortgage). I still have quite a bit of money leftover to travel, eat at nice restaurants, and buy the things I want (we don't have children so this is what we choose to do). This didn't happen right away. My first few paychecks went right to paying bills and there was one time I even cried to my husband that I was never going to recover from my debt and he just looked at me like I was insane (he's a finance guy and a business owner). But over time, my margin of being comfortable just kept increasing. I am not trying to be bragadocious- just factual that the money you will make will make you forget about the student loans and other financial commitments. You will be able to provide for your family in an even greater way than you do now.
There were several students in my program who had small children. You will feel torn and you will feel like you are missing moments. You will be stressed. Getting through the program is very tough emotionally sometimes, and I've actually never heard anyone say that they really enjoyed their program either. You bond with your classmates, you will have ups and downs, and you will bust your butt and do the best you can working with different personalities all the time in a learning environment. But, I have NEVER heard anyone say it wasn't worth it. When you shadow, ask the CRNAs these questions- ask if they knew anyone who did it with small children and ask how they handled the financial situation.
2) Is CRNA right for you? Again, I've never heard any CRNA say that if they could go back and do it over- they would do something different. CRNA has one of the highest rates of satisfaction as any advanced nursing degree and jobs in general at this pay scale. Is it 100% rainbows and puppies? No, of course not! Sometimes you get obese patients that don't ventilate well, sometimes you have a crashing trauma, sometimes the people you are working with are unreasonable or rude, sometimes you don't get relieved from your shift exactly on time...BUT, is any job easy and fun 100% of the time? I don't know of any that are, and even NP's are hit or miss on their happiness level- sometimes they get the shaft on patient load, rude doctors, difficult patients and patient's families...
Someone above mentioned it being boring...as a CRNA I am rarely bored. It may SOUND boring, "just monitoring someone's vital signs" but you always have a little undercurrent of adrenaline going. It's a common joke in the profession that it's hours of boredom and moments of sheer terror. What keeps it interesting is the vast array of surgical procedures we can anesthetize for, the different types of anesthetics we can administer, thinking about the different modes of drug therapy that would be right for our particular patient at this moment, etc. You are not just sitting behind the drape- you are listening to the audible beep of the heart rate (which tells you how fast the heart is beating and the tone tells you the patient's oxygen saturation), you are constantly treating high and low blood pressures, adjusting depth of anesthesia, and paying attention to the surgical procedure (is something stimulating about to happen? are we losing a lot of blood?), etc.
Again, ask the CRNAs these questions- don't just take my word for it! I think it would be tough to find many CRNAs that would say they regret doing it or that it was a poor financial decision. I think your findings will be proof that you are doing the right thing!

Your post pretty much solidifies my decision to attend anesthesia school. Thanks!

SEWRN · Jul 7, 2017

So what did you decide? Curious to hear your experience now. Read your original post and it was as if I just read my own post on having cold feet. I too have two small kids (1 & 4 year old), and am anxious to death over the amount of time I will lose with them, the financial commitment, and whether I would be satisfied with the job and love it down the line. How are you doing with balancing family life and school if you decided to accept?

cticunurse · Jul 7, 2017

Hi so I am currently in school still working part time and it's too much so I will be dropping to per diem next month. This semester is mostly online so it's doable but still tough. I still have old feet everyday but it's happening the financial burden is very scary taking out more loans but it will pay off The job will be satisfactory for sure. There is almost no doubt about that. And as far as the mama guilt. It's HUGE and honestly that's the worst part but they are small and don't know any better right now so that makes it better but it will be a constant battle of guilt and terrified of being poor and failing. But all these "fears" I guess are normal. I just bit the bullet and here I am if it's something you really want I say do it. And everything will fall into place. And loans suck but will pay off good luck what are you debating?

cticunurse · Jul 7, 2017

I still spend a lot of time wth my family but aslso spend 5-6 hours a day sometimes studying but my family will always be my number one. Which I think it should always be that way

icuCCRNurse · Dec 5, 2017

cticunurse,

I get cold feet as well. I also have two young children at home and am fearful of putting parenting on the back burner. They are only little once, and I'm scared to miss all the important events for the next three years. I obviously want to go back to school to provide better for my family, but is it worth sacrificing three years now to make more money in the future? Today, I don't know the answer. All I hear is that school demands 60, sometimes 70 hours per week. Are you finding this true? I see you are studying 5-6 hours day. That sounds more manageable. Is this enough to pull good grades? Kudos to you for still working!

Bluebolt · Dec 6, 2017

I've seen some great experiences and opinions listed here.

I've also seen some very valid concerns and remarks about cold feet before CRNA school.

I'm halfway through my 2nd year of CRNA school and don't regret my decision at all. I didn't have cold feet before I started but more a sense of trepedation. It's true that by getting your acceptance letter to school you're signing up for your whole world to get turned upside down. Suddenly you will enter into this new reality where everything important to you is put on hold or falls behind the most demanding mistress, CRNA school. If you plan to make it through the program you will honestly have to decide that for the most part everything you love will be second in line to your education. We lost 4 people in our class throughout the first year (when most people fail out) and I have to admit that 3 of the 4 had family entanglements that complicated their learning (or lack thereof) environment. The 4th one just couldn't keep up academically. The program will require you to absorb complex scientific information rapidly and master it, apply it and remember it long term. Those 4 people are now dealing with being tens of thousands of dollars in debt and back to bedside nursing trying to pay it off. Could you imagine working 60 hours a week for OT as a bedside RN paying off huge loans for classes that were so hard they still give you PTSD and realizing it was all for nothing?

I'm not saying this to scare you but to protect you. If you have a spouse or kids that you spend a lot of time with and don't know how you would handle not seeing them much. If you struggle with academics and when you're honest with yourself not that amazing with sciences. If you know you don't do well forcing yourself to study 50-75 hours a week. If you have a habit of not completing difficult life goals you set for yourself. If you're sort of interested in anesthesia but could see yourself being happy doing other things...I could go on but the point is if any of this rings true for you, please consider another career because you'll likely fail or quit the program before completion.

I love anesthesia and couldn't see myself doing anything other than this. I have had to remind myself of that many times at midnight sitting at my desk banging my head against notes just hoping I'll pass the exam tomorrow. I had to remind myself when my mom had a surgical emergency living hours away from me and I had to call her and tell her I was sorry that I'd see her at Christmas break. When my sister was getting married and I knew I had a final the next week so I only could be there a couple hours and brought my lecture notes then left early to study. Don't start this if you aren't prepared to do the same.

PittSRNA20 · Dec 6, 2017

I got cold feet the first time I was accepted. My wife was due to have baby at the start of the program and I decided that I would try next year. Next year turned into 3 years. This year I was accepted into a couple of schools and then bam another baby on the way(my wife is due in January). I choose to go to a top 5 ranked school because when I interviewed there I loved it. I felt at home there. The problem is that I live in AZ and the school is in the east coast. It is hard to move, sell your house, up root your family, become unemployed. As a man, I feel guilty for not providing for my family. BUT becoming a CRNA is all I ever wanted to do. The opportunity that it will provide for my children is more than I could have dreamed of. I think your support system is huge. I have a awesome system, my wife is nurse and is going to be my sugar mama for the next three years. I was lucky enough to get approved for tuition coverage through a scholarship type veteran program.(not the go bill I already used mine up) What I am saying is that sometimes you have to take that leap of faith, and go for it. Don't let opportunity pass you bye, you will regret it.I did the first time I didn't go.

crna2021 · Dec 6, 2017

You definitely need to GO FOR IT! Especially with finding a scholarship. The end result will be very rewarding. I am doing a very similar thing. Uprooting my spouse, children, selling our home and moving across country to attend school. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one. My husband will have to work and mainly manage the children. Do you have any more support other than your wife? We won't, and that makes me anxious because we will both be spread thin, but I know it's possible. This is what I want to do, and I won't let others deter me just because I'm nervous of how difficult it will be.

JWOkStRN · Dec 7, 2017

I am in the same position. No cold feet but some trepidation as Bluebolt said. My husband and I don't have kids, but we are liquidating everything we own, selling our home, and relocating across the country for me to attend school. My hubby will graduate with his BSN in a May and then in July we are off to Miami. We know this will be a huge life change for us, but we are in this together and have a great support system. We won't have any family nearby (Alabama will be the closest at 10-12 hours away), but we have each other and our schnauzer. Sometimes you just gotta jump even when the gorge is wide.

SEWRN · Apr 26, 2018

Cticunurse,

It's nice to hear you still had time to spend with family. How far are you into the program now? How old are your kids? And have you found you're still able to consistently have time for them now that you're farther into the program?

My program officially starts in a couple weeks and I am now having major cold feet! But looking at my plan of study, it seems pretty doable as I don't have any core classes left by the time clinicals start-only anesthesia class and clinical each semester. I feel like I won't ever know unless I try but am just worried about the kids and the hubs. How do you feel about the program now and balancing your time with family?