Published Dec 31, 2008
misslolalady
95 Posts
Hello all,
This is my first new tread post, and I know that there have been similar threads regarding this subject matter. I am posting this to try to gain some in site, and gather some opinions as to when a better time to start planning a family would be: The middle of nursing school (delivering after graduation), or the first year working as an RN. (I use the term "better" loosely, as I know there is never really a "perfect" time to start a family)
Regarding my situation, I am 26 years old, and start nursing school in 5 days. My fiance is 36 years old. After finishing my pre-reqs this past August, I applied to National University, and got accepted for a start date of July of 2009. On the same day that I received my acceptance letter, I found out that I was pregnant. My fiance and I were beyond ecstatic, as we were going to be parents, and I would also have the opportunity to fulfill my dream of obtaining my BSN, with about 2 months off with our new baby, before starting nursing school. Well, after experiencing some spotting in September, I was rushed to the ER and told I was told I was experiencing a "threatened miscarriage". The next day, I did indeed have a miscarriage. Needless to say, we were both devastated, and I am taking it especially hard. Anyhow, to make a long story short, I talked to a school administrator about my experience, and she suggested I request to move up my start date. I did, and I got it bumped up to start January 2009.
As I stated above, its been difficult to deal with, as everyday the urge to try again seems to grow stronger. I feel that I would like to try to become pregnant in April or May of 2010, which would put my due date just after graduation. My fiance is supportive, however somewhat apprehensive (I can understand) about being pregnant while finishing up school. My ultimate goal is to go on to obtain my Masters (I haven't decided which specialty), and I feel that I would like to gain my work experience, and grad school uninterrupted. I feel I would rather make the difficult trek through school pregnant now, and be able to enjoy my life as an RN, my family and schooling, without having to take breaks intermittently to obtain all of these things. And, I know I am assuming I'll have a normal, uneventful pregnancy, but who really knows? All I want is a healthy child, and my career. I've asked plenty of people, and gotten mostly positive feedback, but I want fellow students, and nurses opinions on the matter. Any thoughts, comments, suggestions? I thank you for your honest feedback in advance. :)
Shady602
38 Posts
Hello! Sorry to hear about your miscarriage!! I have a 2 month old son! Im starting Nursinh program in July! I postponed it a few times! Let me tell you, i had to take a year of because of my pregnancy! I was sick for the whole 9 months! I hated it! A baby is a lot work! And you not knowing how your body would take pregnacy is one thing. Hopefully, better than i did! I think you should finish school first and then concetrate on getting pregnant and you can take maturnity leave as well. Also, if you really want to have a baby you can take up to a year of nursing program! Its def. a hard descion to make! How do you like the nursing program?
GeneralJinjur
376 Posts
I'm another one that threw up round the clock during pregnancy. I recommend waiting until you're done with school.
NewNurseyGirl2009
100 Posts
I too also vomited my entire pregnancies, and had to go on bed rest at 7 months the first time and be hospitalized with complications the second. What if the baby comes early? What if you are severly sick? What if you have to be hospitalized? I realize everyone is different but do you want to throw away your hardwork for that. Especially when you could have waited a little longer and been done with school. Plus, your gonna be exhausted from being up all night, what if you kid has colic? It's gonna make studying awfully hard.
I understand where all of you are coming from. It's just hard sometimes, to know that you want something so badly... and to try to have a level head about it.
School is going great, although I'm only 3 months in, I feel I am getting a feel for what's expected of me. I am doing very well.
I have been thinking about pregnancy a lot, and I feel if I were to get pregnant, it would be best if I at least held it off until the end of school, maybe trying to time it so that I would be only a month or two at graduation. I suppose it all depends on whether or not I can snag an externship too... I don't know. I'm just playing it by ear for now. (But not actively trying to get pregnant at this time)
Hi, Im supposed to be starting the BSN program in July 09. I believe its supposed to be an evening one. I have so many questions! Now how does the evening work? Do you stay evening for the whole 2 years your in the program? Are classes from 5:30-10:00? 3 days a week? Are classes also given on saturdays? Now Clinicals..how does that work? As far as teachers, are they good? Do they help you in everyway they can for you to pass? What are the assignments like? Is it just papers? Midterms? Finals? Orals? Homework? Is it really possible to finsih a class in a month? I currently have a 2 month old who should be 7 months at the time so i be worried? What if you dont pass a class, what happens then? How do you like the program? Do teachers have websites? Please help! Thanks so much!
PS- I think thats a good idea if you do wait atleast towards the end of the program!
Txblue1116
6 Posts
I know EXACTLY what you are experiencing! The month before I was accepted my boyfriend and i found out we were expecting and we were ecstatic. Unfortunately I also ended up in the ER with a miscarriage. We were so upset but I started school and one year later (nearly to the day) we got pregnant again. We weren't trying, it was certainly a surprise and I had a lot of anxiety about what I would do about school. My due date was November 11 of my third semester (usually the hardest one). I didn't know if I should continue or lay out the semester but i went for it. Ended up delivering October 30th. Managed to finish clinicals and keep up with my work and pass my tests and everything. Now I have a 4 month old and I'm in 4th semester.
It's a challenge for sure but it's completely do-able. I would suggest waiting if you can b/c you never know how you're pregnancy will go. I nearly failed 2nd level b/c of the horrible nausea I had ( I don't call it morning-sickness b/c it was 24/7) and the fatigue. I was constantly sick and could hardly get out of bed, much less study. But if it is really something you want then go for it. :) Best of luck!
Casper930
2 Posts
I know how you're feeling. I've been married for 6 years and we really want to start trying to have kids, but I'm in my 3rd semester and I am scared of all the things that could go wrong. Once you get the thought in your head though, it's hard to think about anything else!! Hang in there!!
danni314
86 Posts
Don't you wish the man could carry the baby just ONCE? lol. Nursing school seems like the worst time to get pregnant, yet, when you REALLY want a baby and to start your family it doesn't seem to matter. I am in the same boat as you misslolalady, but this would be for my second child. My daughter turned three yesterday! (YES I KNOW, I am a young mom but love that job and I have always been mature for my age). Ever since she turned two I've been trying to plan ahead (so like me) when to have our next baby. I literally think about it daily, and in a way feel that I am depriving her of something that is so special, and of a close companion. I was raised with 2 sibilings very close in age and so has my husband, just starting out in nursing school (I start at National University also, April 6th!) it seems impossible to have a baby. I mean, the day I received my acceptance letter to National I was so ecstatic, but I also broke down later that day in tears because I felt it killed my dream of having another baby until after graduation (and after I pass the NCLEX, and after my new job starts, and etc....) It seems like one of those things that could very easily be pushed back until later, and later…. The year of graduation my daughter will be starting kindergarten, and it seems that it will be a whole new part of our life when our daughter is school-aged and I don’t really want a new infant keeping her up at night during those years. How close would she be to that baby anyway? It really worries me.
Every pregnancy is different, like everyone has told you, and I have also been trying to strategically plan a good time to get pregnant. Personally, I would rather deal with being pregnant while IN school than with a new job. I was pregnant when I started college in 2006 and I made it through and I really have enjoyed motherhood through and through. I also would like to go for my Masters and really give attention to my job, and of course have more kids haha. That’s the thing about having one kid, you are probably going to want another! (not that you have to have your whole life planned out lol…)Husband is VERY apprehensive too, he wants me to be in my stable nursing career first… but I really want my kids close together in age and I am running out of time. I know I have plenty of time to have more, but I also don’t want my firstborn to feel left out of the family. Having a job with a good paid maternity leave is nice and all, but I also don't want to regret putting my job that I will have for years and years to come, ahead of my family.
~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN
5,259 Posts
I am very sorry for all of you that have miscarried As for the Question, I would wait until after School, I had fairly easy pregnancies with 3 of my 4 but you just never know. It will be easier to take off work if need be once your done and already have your RN, it will be harder to stop and go back in the midst of the program. I know how overwhelming the urge to have a baby can be, I have been having it a lot lately again, I had to have a hysterectomy so I can't act on it, but I am someone that has had such strong urges. It got overwhelming when I was taking the Psych Life Span development and I after a lot of convincing, got my husband to be on board and hopefully try for a girl.
Anyway, so I understand the urge, but looking at the long term part of it, I would imagine waiting until after school would be your best bet.
I hope everything works out for you :)
Don't you wish the man could carry the baby just ONCE? lol. Nursing school seems like the worst time to get pregnant, yet, when you REALLY want a baby and to start your family it doesn't seem to matter. I am in the same boat as you misslolalady, but this would be for my second child. My daughter turned three yesterday! (YES I KNOW, I am a young mom but love that job and I have always been mature for my age). Ever since she turned two I've been trying to plan ahead (so like me) when to have our next baby. I literally think about it daily, and in a way feel that I am depriving her of something that is so special, and of a close companion. I was raised with 2 sibilings very close in age and so has my husband, just starting out in nursing school (I start at National University also, April 6th!) it seems impossible to have a baby. I mean, the day I received my acceptance letter to National I was so ecstatic, but I also broke down later that day in tears because I felt it killed my dream of having another baby until after graduation (and after I pass the NCLEX, and after my new job starts, and etc....) It seems like one of those things that could very easily be pushed back until later, and later.... The year of graduation my daughter will be starting kindergarten, and it seems that it will be a whole new part of our life when our daughter is school-aged and I don't really want a new infant keeping her up at night during those years. How close would she be to that baby anyway? It really worries me. Every pregnancy is different, like everyone has told you, and I have also been trying to strategically plan a good time to get pregnant. Personally, I would rather deal with being pregnant while IN school than with a new job. I was pregnant when I started college in 2006 and I made it through and I really have enjoyed motherhood through and through. I also would like to go for my Masters and really give attention to my job, and of course have more kids haha. That's the thing about having one kid, you are probably going to want another! (not that you have to have your whole life planned out lol...)Husband is VERY apprehensive too, he wants me to be in my stable nursing career first... but I really want my kids close together in age and I am running out of time. I know I have plenty of time to have more, but I also don't want my firstborn to feel left out of the family. Having a job with a good paid maternity leave is nice and all, but I also don't want to regret putting my job that I will have for years and years to come, ahead of my family.
Every pregnancy is different, like everyone has told you, and I have also been trying to strategically plan a good time to get pregnant. Personally, I would rather deal with being pregnant while IN school than with a new job. I was pregnant when I started college in 2006 and I made it through and I really have enjoyed motherhood through and through. I also would like to go for my Masters and really give attention to my job, and of course have more kids haha. That's the thing about having one kid, you are probably going to want another! (not that you have to have your whole life planned out lol...)Husband is VERY apprehensive too, he wants me to be in my stable nursing career first... but I really want my kids close together in age and I am running out of time. I know I have plenty of time to have more, but I also don't want my firstborn to feel left out of the family. Having a job with a good paid maternity leave is nice and all, but I also don't want to regret putting my job that I will have for years and years to come, ahead of my family.
It's obviously your choice, but just to offer a friendly opinion from someone who has both, close together and far apart, don't rush to have them so close together. My second son and third son are 1 month shy of 2 years apart. If I knew now what I did than, I would have waited. It was very hard and stressful having them so close in age but most of all, I can see that my second son was not ready to have the attention off of him so soon. I can really see an effect in his personality and demeanor. My oldest was 3.5 when son 2 came and did good with it. He was 5.5 with son 3 and did great and was so helpful at both ages. Now this was waiting a lot longer because we were done at 3. But when my daughter came along they were all older, 5,7 and 10 and man that was just wonderful. Just something to think about :)
neeniebean
153 Posts
I had the itch SO Strong the summer before my last year of nursing school (and, during the whole last year too!), so i know what you're feeling right now, but i really have to agree with everyone who's said to wait- and i am so happy that we waited as well. The problem is that you really don't know what kind of pregnancy you're going to have. I'm not sure if you work in addition to going to school (i did), but NS alone puts enough stress on you, your body, and your baby if you do get PG. This was DH's big concern- aside from the possibility of having a terrible pregnancy and having to put NS on hold- why put the baby at risk by bringing it into an already very stressful situation, if that could be avoided? Most times, i didnt want to hear it- i just wanted to get PG, but i can't stress enough how glad i am that we waited.
I started as an RN in august and got pg in november- my due date is august 09- exactly 2 days after my year anniversary there. I've had a great pregnancy so far, but even with that, i couldn't imagine having been pg in NS- the pure exhaustion, alone, that i felt in the first trimester would have made it so miserable for me. Also, another BIG thing to keep in mind is that adjusting to life as an RN takes Alot! I know that people do it with small children at home, but i am glad that i didn't have to go through that adjustment at the same time as adjusting to a newborn at home. I know it's hard to hear people saying "don't" when it's all you can really think of doing, but i really can't see jeopardizing your position in nursing school or the health of your baby when you could just wait a few months longer and have everything in place. Good luck with your decision! :)