Quitting?

  1. I started the course in February and have been doing it for about six months now but more and more recently I've been considering quitting.

    I dropped out of school after a year of sixth form (my parents were not pleased) and I felt pressured into making a decision about what to do with my future and the choice to do nursing just sort of happened.

    I have enjoyed some of the course, but not the majority. And top of all of this I have some sort of eating disorder (not diagnosed or anything) that seems to sort of come and go if that makes any sense at all, but any time I get stressed it gets a lot worse and since starting the course it's got worse and worse and I've been eating next to nothing whilst doing 12 hours shifts etc.

    I do wish I could enjoy the course but with all the essays and bad placements I've had it doesn't seem likely. None of this is helped by the fact that I'm really shy and only confident with people I know really well, so obviously going to different wards all of the time I'm never getting to know anyone well enough to feel comfortable around them.

    I want to quit, but I'm pretty sure my parents are going to either be really angry or dissapointed, or both. I'm 18 and therefore won't have any option but to live with them still as I've got no money and I don't know what I'd do if I quit the course.

    Sorry if this is slightly off topic/not the kind of thread that's meant to be here, but I really needed a place to get that off my chest.
    •  
  2. Visit claire123 profile page

    About claire123

    Joined: Sep '08; Posts: 1

    12 Comments

  3. by   NurseJeanB
    Oh you know what we are immediately thinking is NO.... Don't quit. You can do it, but at the same time this is a decision that you will make based on what is right for you. Don't let the disappointment you think will come from your family affect your decision. You are young and it is perfectly normal to have doubts and even change your mind. Oh my goodness, it took me until my late 30's before I started on my nursing school path.
    Honest assessment of your strengths and weaknesses, and what you enjoy and what you don't will bring you to a decision, but keep in mind that you will have doubts, and at times not be super confident. I had no healthcare background and I was terrified of my first clinical experiences. I have learned to expect a certain amount of fear, and do my best to overcome it. You are going to be challenged and stretched beyond your comfort zone. That all comes with the learning process, you just have to decide is this something you cannot come to accept.
    If you decide that nursing is still not what you want then you have to ask yourself what you did like and try to make a plan to move into a major that better appeals. Hopefully you can transfer classes, and don't have to start from scratch, but I would encourage you not to quit school altogether. Please take care and don't waste time beating yourself up. What you are going through is a lot of self examination and tough decision-making which is not easy for any age.

    Best regards,
    Jean
  4. by   Aiming4Altruism
    I know what you're going through.. I'm pretty much in the same situation. I sort of got the idea about nursing from my senior year biology teacher, since I enjoyed biology, it seemed to be a good idea at the time.

    So I took all the pre-reqs, getting mostly a's and a few b's, and being able to balance and maintain a schedule I enjoyed (was able to study and still had time to mess around)..

    And I was also pressured to make a choice about accepting the nursing school invitation or not (came at an extremely bad time - studying for a microbiology final during the summer).

    Now that i'm in it and have done a week, I've already felt extremely stressed and bogged down. Already cried and moped, consulted many family members about advice on what to do, etc. Even considered dropping out already, and started to consider other career choices (history - fun but probably not a good money maker, and natural sciences)!

    The study load was/is also very large, with a test this upcoming friday ().

    But, the advice I can offer as a fellow student nurse, is to try and find your groove, attempt to be content with your courses (liking every subject is rare - hated my tech writing course but was able to finish it), consult people who will give you a fair answer, and try to talk with the other sns too, it's unlikely that you're the only one with these feelings (look at me ).

    But, if it still doesn't pan out, talk with your counselors about what you really enjoy doing and take a career assessment test. Try to have a back-up plan is what I'm saying. Using me as an example, if I decide nursing isn't for me and drop from the program and classes, I'm not sure if I'm exempt from this spectacular law in texas that states students of all college levels (aa, bs/ba, ms/ phD - not sure on the last one) may ONLY DROP 6 CLASSES TOTAL and when they reach 6, they are no longer allowed to register for classes in the state of texas (at least, that's what i've been told... could be partially accurate/inaccurate)

    And the whole thing about disappointing others and such? Pfft, it's good to consider it but don't let it govern your decisions. What's the point of spending 'X' amount of years and 'Y' amount of cash for something you'll be miserable doing?

    And if you still want/need someone to talk to, toss a pm to me.. I usually check this site often for encouragement and funnies.

    Best of luck to you.
  5. by   rubystar
    Nursing school can be rather dry and difficult. I found it got way more interesting once I hit the second year of my three year degree and that made up for the learning curve being terrible.

    If you have some form of mental health issue it makes it so hard. I honestly had to drop out a few years ago because I just could not cope with the pressure. Then I went to a doctor, got help and went back the next year at a different Uni (incidentally I liked it more) but I could cope with the pressures because I was much more aware of the fact that I have an anxiety issue, and knew how to deal with it.

    I know it's a bit of an apples and oranges thing, but if you're stressing more than seems rational, get some help. Sometimes the stress can really dull the course down and make it really boring, which makes it even harder to get through because you're looking at it from the wrong perspective.
  6. by   me-too
    Quote from rubystar
    Nursing school can be rather dry and difficult. I found it got way more interesting once I hit the second year of my three year degree and that made up for the learning curve being terrible.

    If you have some form of mental health issue it makes it so hard. I honestly had to drop out a few years ago because I just could not cope with the pressure. Then I went to a doctor, got help and went back the next year at a different Uni (incidentally I liked it more) but I could cope with the pressures because I was much more aware of the fact that I have an anxiety issue, and knew how to deal with it.

    I know it's a bit of an apples and oranges thing, but if you're stressing more than seems rational, get some help. Sometimes the stress can really dull the course down and make it really boring, which makes it even harder to get through because you're looking at it from the wrong perspective.

    AMEN....
    I just started school this week and the pressure is already "intense."
    I can't believe I'm feeling and I've only been in school two days!!

    I've been denying my feelings (of being overwhelmed) until after school today when I was standing in a store listening to the store's Muzak tape and I had to do everything in my power to stop myself from crying.

    Then, I read your post and realized that I too have anxiety.

    And, all this school pressure does not help anxiety at all.
    So, thank you for reminding me that anxiety is probably to blame.
    Does anyone else have any recommendations for students with anxiety?

    Thanks,
  7. by   rubystar
    Quote from me-too
    AMEN....
    I just started school this week and the pressure is already "intense."
    I can't believe I'm feeling and I've only been in school two days!!

    I've been denying my feelings (of being overwhelmed) until after school today when I was standing in a store listening to the store's Muzak tape and I had to do everything in my power to stop myself from crying.

    Then, I read your post and realized that I too have anxiety.

    And, all this school pressure does not help anxiety at all.
    So, thank you for reminding me that anxiety is probably to blame.
    Does anyone else have any recommendations for students with anxiety?

    Thanks,
    No problem! Glad to help.
  8. by   Melinurse
    First off , be sure to take care of yourself first. If you decide to continue with nursing, please get checked by a doctor regarding your stress/anxiety. You are no good to your patients if you get sick.
    Second, re-examine what you enjoy. Think of what other careers you might like and look into them too. Don't worry about mom & dad, parents just love you and want you to be happy and sucessful in the end.
    Third, try going part-time if it's an option. You may see things a bit differently
    Are you working as a CNA/Nurse Tech right now? If not, I would work as a CNA in a hospital or LTC to help get a better idea of whether or not this is a feild you like. Sometimes, school and the " real world " are a bit different. Get a feel for real world nursing.
    Last, think it through and do what is right for you. We need more nurses, but if your heart is not in it, you are not doing your patients any favors and you won't be happy about your career choice. GOOD LUCK with your decision. LOL!
  9. by   morte
    personnally i see a need for counseling....you appear to lack direction (not a criticism, an observation) possibly some organic depression..and a self admitted eating disorder.....and feel very pressured by your parents (control issues?)....dont have a clue about what would be available to you thru the NHS but i would check it out
  10. by   Valasca
    Here are my : In order of importance

    1. You must must must get your eating disorder treated!!!! If you have an underlying problem that is exacerbated by nursing school then conventional wisdom should dictate that you a. get help for your problem & b. remove from your life that which is making your problem worse.

    2. You need to evaluate how/why you chose nursing. Were you pushed into it or do you genuinely want to be a nurse? Based on your post it seems that your parents are somewhat pushy. I can totally understand them wanting you to have a plan for your future. They love you and want you to be successful. However, nursing is not for the faint hearted and nursing school causes many a dedicated students to question their resolve and desire to become a nurse. I can only imagine how it would make someone feel who was forced (using the word in the loosest sense) into it.

    3. Do you really know why you want to quit? Is it because nursing school is too hard? Is it because you never wanted to be a nurse in the first place? Is it too much responsibility at such a young age? I took some prereqs with a girl your age. She would have been 18 or 19 when she started nursing school (ADN). But she decided that it was far too much responsibility for someone her age and so she decided to postpone nursing school for a year or two. She wanted to enjoy her time as a "kid" and party with her friends, take vacations, etc. (Now this is not to say that an 18 or 19 y/o is too young for nursing this was just her opinion and one that I thought was worth sharing. Don't flame me!!!) .

    4. Lastly, do not let the fear of dissapointing your parents keep you in nursing school or any other school... I did many things to dissapoint my parents and they still love and support me. In the end all parents want is the best for their kids and for them to be happy. I am sure that is what your parents want for you also. One way to broach the subject of quitting ns is to figure out what it is that you would rather do. Tell them nursing is not for you but that you feel "x" is and that you have done the research and plan to switch majors. If you cannot find something else you want to go to school for atm then tell them that. Let them know that you plan on continuing your education but that you need time to discover what it is that you want to do with your life. Then march your butt out and get a job (if you don't already have one) so that it doesn't seem like you want to just lay around the house and do nothing.

    I wish you the very best of luck Claire and please do get your eating disorder treated. :redpinkhe
  11. by   Kevin RN08
    OK, now you get to hear it from a pushy parent's perspective.

    Most importantly, whether you stick with nursing, or not, get the eating disorder and other health issues attended to.

    Secondly, I don't care so much about what you want to do, I care that you want to do something! Whether nursing, interior design, business, or computers; I want you to have it better than I, that's why I've been busting my hump providing the best stuff, and best opportunities that I can. So, yes it's pushy but it is still up to you. Have a plan, realize that anything worth having is going to take sacrifice, then work your plan (failing to plan is planning to fail).
    Finally, if you don't think you are ready for school, get a job, you can't lay around the house, not go to school, drive my car burning my gas, eat my food, etc while you "find" yourself. I love you but you have to learn to stand on your own two feet.
    I've had this conversation with my daughter the last 3 years, she started at an out of town university but didn't go to class the whole semester, came home and wasted another semester at CC. With nearly half her college money wasted (3 HIS credits in a year), I (we) refused to finance any more school until she started paying for her classes and we'd reimburse her half. She disagreed and moved out, which was the best thing for her. Several bounced checks and car repair bills later, she now has some perspective and has elected to move back home and return to school, we are still on the "50% plan" plus she has tuition reimbursement from her job.
    I do hope this gives you (and others) some idea of what parents are thinking, wanting, wishing for and from you.
  12. by   obicurn
    Quote from Kevin RN08
    OK, now you get to hear it from a pushy parent's perspective.

    Most importantly, whether you stick with nursing, or not, get the eating disorder and other health issues attended to.

    Secondly, I don't care so much about what you want to do, I care that you want to do something! Whether nursing, interior design, business, or computers; I want you to have it better than I, that's why I've been busting my hump providing the best stuff, and best opportunities that I can. So, yes it's pushy but it is still up to you. Have a plan, realize that anything worth having is going to take sacrifice, then work your plan (failing to plan is planning to fail).
    Finally, if you don't think you are ready for school, get a job, you can't lay around the house, not go to school, drive my car burning my gas, eat my food, etc while you "find" yourself. I love you but you have to learn to stand on your own two feet.
    I've had this conversation with my daughter the last 3 years, she started at an out of town university but didn't go to class the whole semester, came home and wasted another semester at CC. With nearly half her college money wasted (3 HIS credits in a year), I (we) refused to finance any more school until she started paying for her classes and we'd reimburse her half. She disagreed and moved out, which was the best thing for her. Several bounced checks and car repair bills later, she now has some perspective and has elected to move back home and return to school, we are still on the "50% plan" plus she has tuition reimbursement from her job.
    I do hope this gives you (and others) some idea of what parents are thinking, wanting, wishing for and from you.
    Good for you on the tough love!! Sometimes it takes a good kick to the behind before they have that moment of understanding.
  13. by   akanini
    To the OP, I was just like you when I started college from HS. I finished with a BA after 3.5 years and worked in a social work job that just didn't pay to my liking. Look where I am now....just finishing PN school. Stick it out. If I had listened to my RN mother straight from college, I probably would have been a NP already!
  14. by   ADPIE10
    Since I'm not your parents, I have no comment in that regard.

    I agree with previous posters that something should be done about the eating disorder.

    Have you gotten to the nursing diagnosis portion of your curriculum? If so, what would your nursing diagnosis be?

    Good luck.

close