Anyone a single mom/caregiver in nursing school?...burnout rant; it's all too much.

  1. Hey Im currently a level 2 nursing student im 23 graduating in December 2018 and I have never felt more alone. I'm a single mom of a beautiful 2 y/o girl, and have to live with my mom and my grandmother. I cannot afford daycare so I get out of school come home care for my daughter and study. My mom has health problems but shes able to watch for her and care for her (RA, HTN, osteoarthritis, psoriasis, ). So mom always rants about her health but never does anything and i have to manage her meds bc she tends to under/overtake them. Also im constantly reminding her to drink water, wear her back brace, take her sleeping meds. She sleep walks and I'm having to put her back to bed (shes 57). I love my mom but i have the Caregiver role strain we read about a lot. I have a hard time not snapping at her a lot because I'm stressed enough as it is.

    Plus when I'm studying my daughter gets bored fusses, throws fits, brings me toys while im on the computer doing paperwork, takes my hands off the keyboard ect.

    Im on anti anxiety meds, and sleeping meds because i suffer from recurring nightmares. I exercise in the mornings to help try to expel frustration but that just makes me more tired during class. I cry at least once a week in a professors class about getting so overwhelmed and feeling stupid when i study so hard but can scrape by with an 80. I suck at tests especially nursing tests. (I absolutely HATE HATE HATE sitting down for hours studying it is the worst. I would rather go to clinical and be on my feet than sit all the time. I get super antsy and frustrated and end up quitting)

    Also another fun fact Ive lost so much hair everywhere...head, eyelashes, eyebrows. (I eat healthy, take collagen/multivitamins drink 2.5L of water a day) I get premature atrial contractions several times a month. Im super stressed, aggravated, frustrated, exhausted. Also im the only single mom in my class so I feel weird like a loner i guess, plus I get bullied by 2 girls for god knows what.

    Basically I'm reaching out to see that I'm not alone feeling like the world isn't this small tiny box of torture that I'm only in . If anyone has any suggestions or recommendations I will gladly hear, plus i need to see that these feelings are normal that im not just going crazy by myself.

    FYI I absolutely love clinicals and being a nurse its so awesome but the school is slowly killing me inside.
    Last edit by adnwinter2018 on Apr 15 : Reason: forgot something
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    About adnwinter2018

    Joined: Apr '18; Posts: 2; Likes: 1
    from TX , US

    6 Comments

  3. by   direw0lf
    I can't relate to being a parent (although I consider myself a dogmom ) but I CAN relate to wishing I were on my feet instead of hours of study each week, sometimes each day. I am one of those who loves to study but I'd rather be working as a PCA to prepare for the real nursing world now. I think in the beginning of nursing school, the textbook info is very important though but you are almost at the end, and I understand just wanting to be in the field for learning. But read what I said there! You are almost at the end! Do you get summers off from school? Summer is almost here, and even if you are in school, maybe you can pack up your books and daughter and family and go to a lake or park at least once a week to destress. I can't pretend to know the degree of your responsibilities and stress, but even if you can just take out an hour a day of alone time for relaxing music in the tub, or if you like to dance then dance, or whatever you like that is just for you, I think it would help.

    However if you are bullied, PLEASE report this. Your school should not tolerate that and neither should you.

    I do not have those feelings of being trapped in a box - maybe because I'm not a mom. But my own mom has gone through cancer recently so I can relate to that stress with you having a sick mom also. I just cope by keeping my eyes on the prize and taking moments for myself, even if it's just to watch a movie or an hour walk.
  4. by   adnwinter2018
    Thanks for the kind words and my sympathies for your mom <3 Thats a great idea about studying outside! I will try it this weekend Im sure my daughter would love it. I mostly feel trapped mostly because I'm in school and I can't work so it makes me really anxious about money. The way I can explain it is it's like kind of like being stuck in 5 o'clock traffic trying to get home. You only have 5 more miles to go, but your blocked in even if the lights green you are gritting your teeth, yelling at people to move, but they won't. Basically the end is in sight but your just stuck in annoying and irritating traffic wanting to just reach your destination. I will be in level 3 this summer which im nervous because I will have 2 clinicals a week in L&D, and nursery. But I will have an amazing professor so it will be a good fast paced semester
  5. by   direw0lf
    Quote from adnwinter2018
    Thanks for the kind words and my sympathies for your mom <3 Thats a great idea about studying outside! I will try it this weekend Im sure my daughter would love it. I mostly feel trapped mostly because I'm in school and I can't work so it makes me really anxious about money. The way I can explain it is it's like kind of like being stuck in 5 o'clock traffic trying to get home. You only have 5 more miles to go, but your blocked in even if the lights green you are gritting your teeth, yelling at people to move, but they won't. Basically the end is in sight but your just stuck in annoying and irritating traffic wanting to just reach your destination. I will be in level 3 this summer which im nervous because I will have 2 clinicals a week in L&D, and nursery. But I will have an amazing professor so it will be a good fast paced semester
    Yesss there are days when I look out the window and see the blue sky then look back at my desk and I'd just like to be somewhere else! Sometimes I have a webcam of a florida beach or something while I'm doing my studying.
    Just remember that you won't be in that traffic forever and def try getting out to study or do something to break that feeling like you're stuck like for me it's the webcam sometimes..because I know I'll get there one day!
  6. by   jess.mont
    You are definitely not alone, but you are shouldering some tough burdens. You are so close to your goal, and you are an inspiration to your daughter as you continue to strive. You can do this. Look how far you've come. <3

    I love the idea of putting up a beachy webcam while studying - I'm going to do it right now!
  7. by   AnnieNP
    When I was in school I used a sound machine. I would play ocean wave sounds / thunder storm sounds / summer night sounds. It just depended on my mood, but the nature sounds were calming when played in the background while I was studying. You can do this!!!
  8. by   BagelBomber
    I'll be starting my FIRST semester of nursing school (at 27) in August and I have a ten year old son. I lucked out with my little man because he has been so patient, supportive and mature through my pre-reqs. I have my orientation next month, and I know I'll be having a lengthy discussion with my son about what my schedule will look like. I'll still be working full time in addition to attending nursing school, and I know my quality time with him is going to suffer (and possibly his grades if I'm not able to keep on his homework and projects like I am now). I'm already feeling stressed about losing time with him, but I also keep reminding myself that it IS temporary and I'm going through this to make sure we can have a better life in the future. You are SO CLOSE to finishing and all of the stress will be worth it.

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