When your family asks your opinion of certain doctors...

1. I have been in this situation several times and was wondering how everyone else handles it. I work for a small hospital basically staffed by family doctors and a couple of surgeons. Well, of course we all have our preferences in what qualities we like in doctors, but there are truly a couple of the docs I wouldn't let come near me or my immediate family with a 20ft pole. These docs are just downright dangerous in my opinion and most of the nursing staff I work with.
   
   Of course, when someone in the family needs surgery or is looking to change family docs for one reason or another they ask my opinion....I usually tell them who I like and give them reasons why I like Dr. So and So, and leave it at that. If questioned about a doc or surgeon I haven't mentioned to them, I usually try to dart the question with a "s/he is a nice person" (whether it's true or not) and leave it at that. Don't want to get in trouble with my management people but I feel I have a responsibility to my family also. How do others handle this situation?

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2. 

   About deespoohbear

   Joined: Aug '01; Posts: 2,276; Likes: 42
   RN

   4 Comments

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3. 
   Jan 14, '03

   Thank goodness I live 2000 miles away and don't deal with that. I used to run into that w/friend in small-town Oklahoma. I tried very hard to stay away from being in the middle, unless I KNEW darn well a doctor may be dangerous or unstable (yes we had a couple of those) then I would suggest someone I respected and trusted as a GREAT choice. it can be sticky for sure.
4. 
   Jan 14, '03

   I usually just lie and say that I don't have the opportunity to work with them that often. I only work 2 days a week, and it's a big hospital with lots of docs, so I can usually talk them into believing that.
   
   What I hate more is when there are huge family get togethers, and some family member of an in-law asks questions totally unrelated to OB. As if we all keep a wide scope of practice and knowledge in every possible subspecialty.
   
   "Oh Heather! You'll know! What cardiologists are in the NW Ohio Cardiologists practice?"
   
   To which I reply "I dunno. I don't believe they have delivered any babies lately?"
   
   I became the outcast at a recent function when I was being hounded by one woman. I finally told her that unless she needed help breastfeeding or wanted me to check her episiotomy, I would appreciate it if she would leave me alone.
   
   Heather
5. 
   Jan 14, '03

   And half the time, friends and family go ahead and do their own thing, anyway, regardless of your suggestions.
   
   My parents...I will definitely steer them away from someone I think is dangerous. Anyone else, I just say who I like/who I'd have if I were the pt.
6. 
   Jan 14, '03

   When people ask me questions about physicians that I don't trust, I usually ask them how they like them. I also say that the first pre-requisite of an effective patient/doctor partnership is the patient being comfortable with that doctor. I ask them if they are happy with them. If they are happy, I don't say anything. If they aren't happy, I recommend a few.

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