What is the dumbest order you ever read? - page 4

I thought I had seen some AH orders but yesterday took the all time win! I had a 97 year old man admitted from ER with impaction and the order said---- "Give oil retention enema and have pt. hold ... Read More

  1. by   Agnus
    Originally posted by Furball
    A u/a on an anuric renal pt......

    YES, yes, yes, seen this one
  2. by   Agnus
    Originally posted by deespoohbear

    Lost me!
    Will the real woman please, stand up?
  3. by   whipping girl in 07
    My personal favorite (from back in orientation):

    D/C tongue ring

    I got a transfer patient from the floor last night and I was doing my chart check when I came across these orders:

    1st doc: "Please ask Dr. So-n-so for leads on rehab facility in Blanksville, Out of State."
    2nd doc: "Wife would like to know when pt may be ready for transfer to rehab facility in Blanksville."
    1st doc: "As soon as you find me a rehab facility in Blanksville."
    2nd doc: "Not familiar with any rehab facilities in Blanksville, suggest you call major hospital in Blanksville for leads."
    1st doc: "Social services: please find a rehab facility in Blanksville."

    Ugh. Haven't these guys ever heard of a phone? We had a good laugh over that last night.

    Same patient has some extremely nervous nellie relatives and has 9 doctors on the case (4 services of which were family requests). The patient developed some hives so they asked for a dermatology consult on Thanksgiving day and could not understand why the dermatologist on call wouldn't come see him. I had a hard time keeping from laughing telling them that dermatologists don't do consults on weekends and holidays because you just don't have too many dermatology emergencies.:chuckle Not to mention that don't you think maybe ANY kind of doctor could handle URTICARIA?! They also asked for (and got) a GI consult for the patient's hiccups. ARRGGHH!
  4. by   fab4fan
    Now, now, konni...you never know when an emergency pimple might erupt.

    I used to babysit for a dermatologist when I was in nsg. school, and this guy used to ALWAYS ask me if the medical bureau had called with any emergencies. I thought he was kidding the first time he said that, but he was flat-out serious.
  5. by   ktwlpn
    MOM 30cc po,stat....Sadly the patient was my 30 yr old sister-moaning and crying with abdominal pain in the e.d.....She is and always will be high maintenance and the star of the "Me" show and when our Mother was alive she fed right into it...Imagine going to the e.d. for constipation of 4 days duration-a young health person.... The topper was watching her there on the stretcher waiting for the MOM to work-the staff could not keep straight faces by that point...............One of the docs in our LTC has been known to write orders like-"tune radio to 92.5 q am" or "TV to General Hospital at 3 pm" No one knows how he knows the preferences of our comatose residents...but at least he does try....he also wrote something like" To lick one lollipop with nurse and suction on stand by q weekly" for one of our semi-comatose fellas...
  6. by   Lisa Punch
    my personal favorite "stat colace" Although one that happened recently "restrict free water to 7500cc/day" UGH!!!!
  7. by   RN always
    This is the funniest thread. I am laughing at all of them.................
  8. by   Y2KRN
    Funniest one I have seen a urine pregnancy test on a 46 year old female, with history of TAH-BSO. That would be the miracle baby!

  9. by   panda_181
    Well now that you mention it, we just had a patient admitted for query appendicitis...after telling the doctor that he's already had an appendectomy! We think that something might have gotten mixed up from the office to the hospital...but even still, when I asked the patient why he was being admitted, he said he didn't know...

  10. by   JonRN
    This one ain't funny, but we had an old guy with cancer admitted to the SICU whose tumor had eroded down to his left carotid. On the admit orders written by the surgery intern was:
    1) Carotid precautions. WTF were we supposed to do? I called the chief res and we shared a good laugh at the intern's expense.
  11. by   caroladybelle
    Stools for occult blood x3 Today!!!!- Do by rectal exam.
    (On a patient that had not had a BM in 4 days and not had solid food in 4 days)

    What do you want to bet (supposing we had followed the order) that by the third "rectal exam", the OB would be positive?
  12. by   tshores
    Inderal 20 mg IV now and q8h--and the pharmacy sent it!--20 1 mg amps!--so I talked with them, too, since I had a bunch of new graduates on the night shift then; most would ask, some not sure about.
    On a patient in complete heart block with some PVC's, HR in the 20's and 30's: Lidocaine 100 mg IV bolus, then 4/mg/min drip.
    Morphine 100 mg IVP now.
    Then it seems like everyone's called a tired resident for a patient with chest pain and got orders to insert a foley.
    Champagne slurry 20cc q4h NGT--clamp for 1h after giving. Order was supposed to be Carafate slurry, but the patient got champagne all night long with no c/o anything all night! (Nope, I wasn't the nurse!)
  13. by   Dplear
    "start heplock IV wipe site first with alcohol" A resident wrote that order in all sincerity and she meant it just like that. Gee what am I gonna use? maybe feces? We call her cockroach cuz her last name sounds similar.