Unhappy OR Nurse

[butchokoy]

Hello All Nurses of every specialty. I am writing here not for myself but for my wife who is an OR Nurse. My wife has been an OR nurse for a long time. She actually worked in London for a good 20 years or so. She is now with me here in the US and she was able to obtain a job here. It's been about 5 months now and she is getting used to how Americans work vs Europeans. There are a lot of differences on the way these two work. She had a hard time transitioning and at this time, she is still learning. I've seen her struggles at this location. She is the only Asian at this facility and she feels left out and scared at times. At this location, the nurses have been there for a long time now and they already have established groups and clicks. Her coworkers, from my wife's observation are backstabbers. They will say something nice up front but then say negative things when the nurses are not in sight. My wife was advised "to be careful because your failure is rejoiced by the staff." I often tell my wife to stick it out and actually she has to since this is her very first job here in the states. I don't think that looking for a new job for her is the best option. We do want to move to the West Coast through perhaps in CA because we are sick and tired of the snow. Sometimes my wife say that she wish she can find another job not doing OR anymore and not as a nurse. She has had worked for so long now and she feels that she cannot do it anymore. Some of the nurses who she works with currently are mean, bossy and make my wife feel dumb and stupid and my wife is just hanging on there. The scrub nurses are also bossy and make her stupid as well. I feel so bad and useless for my wife right now as there' nothing I can do to make it easier for her. She sacrificed a lot for me when we got married here and she moved here. She left her life, career, everything in London.

Based on all of your experiences, what great advise can you offer to us. If she doesn't want to be a nurse anymore, what are her options? I know nurses are compensated greatly but at this time, $$ is not priority. I would like my wife to love what she does and not have to worry about the hospital politics. Any advise is welcome. I love my wife dearly and I am doing this for her.

Thank you every one for listening. Please keep the advises coming.

Regards,

Supportive Husband :)

[roser13, ASN, RN]

We would be happy to answer questions for your wife. Is there any reason why she is not posting her own questions?

[butchokoy]

she isn't comfortable posting online..so i do the research for her hoping i can find information for her.

[Libby1987]

Your description of your wife being scared doesn't fit someone who has spent 20 years in the OR. There must be something else going on, perhaps she just hasn't adjusted to the relocation.

Not sure what being Asian has to do with it, are you in some non diverse pocket in the NE? (I'm from California so..)

[Rocknurse, MSN, APRN, NP]

I'm from London too, and I understand perfectly. It's called culture shock, and it will pass. It's hard to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it, but Americans do have a very different culture and way of looking at the world, and it's only time that can help you adjust. My first couple years here I felt like a fish out of water but now I feel completely assimilated. Yes it is different, but there are many advantages to being here...you just have to recognize them. Only the passing of time can help her situation improve. Having a positive attitude helps, and also being outgoing and friendly (even if you don't feel like it) helps. I wish her luck. Stick it out and things will get better.

[butchokoy]

Thank you for your response. I am hoping that all things go well for us. @rocknurse, are you in CT? We are in PA

[butchokoy]

How can my wife deal with her co-workers being rude, mean, bossy and everything else. Some of the surgeons are outright nasty as well.

[roser13, ASN, RN]

Sounds like a typical OR. Your wife may need to develop a thicker skin or leave OR nursing.

she isn't comfortable posting online..

It's hard to answer questions 2nd-hand. If your wife isn't even comfortable speaking for herself on the Internet, I doubt that she will be able to speak up to co-workers who are rude, mean or bossy.