This Was My Day...Have you had one like it?

  1. Subject: Nursing Station Answering Machine

    ...Hello, you have reached the _______________________ Nursing Station voice mail.

    Pay close attention as we have to update the choices often as new and unusual circumstances arrive. Please select from the following options:

    - To whine about us not doing anything to solve a problem you created yourself, press 1.

    - To postulate whether someone has to die before we'll do something about a problem, press 2.

    - To report a nurse for bad manners, when in reality the nurse is trying to save your life, press 3.

    - If you would like us to raise your children, press 4.

    - If you would like us to take control of your life due to your alcohol or chemical dependency, press 5.

    -If you would like us to instantly restore health to a body that took years to deteriorate, press 6.

    - To provide a list of nurses/managers you personally know, so we will take better/faster care of you, press 7.

    - To sue us, tell us you'll have our license or proclaim our career is over, press 8.

    - To hear this menu again, wrap aluminum foil around your head and turn around three times
  2. Visit AlaskanRN profile page

    About AlaskanRN

    Joined: Aug '02; Posts: 112; Likes: 3
    ER RN


  3. by   nurse2002
    OMG! Where did you come up with this? You just made my whole week!

  4. by   gwenith
    If you are obsessive compulsive press 9, press 9, press9, press 9
  5. by   Jaydenc
    I strive to do the Lord's work. Compassion and grace. So how was your day?
  6. by   SandyB
    I love it! In psych they are almost all trying to press 5 and 8. Any way I can use this in person with them? LOL
  7. by   KELLYGIRL
    If you called to ask 20 questions to your family member's Dr and not to the one on call, please hang up and dial ....
  8. by   passing thru
    This is the best and funniest list I've ever read !!
    Real choices for a change.....So true....thanks a lot....LOL
  9. by   BBFRN
    -If you are angry with us because we can’t answer your questions regarding your family due to HIPPA regulations, but you refuse to call or visit the patient yourself, press 10.
  10. by   jnette

    If none of the above suit your needs, please hang up and dial
    1-800- POOR ME
  11. by   Repat
    Thanks, I needed that!!!
  12. by   AllieElizAbeth
    LOL roll on the floor. call 1-800- POOR ME
    If you can't reach any of the numbers call back tomorrow.
  13. by   jemb
    Love it!

    If any part of your conversation will include. "But why did (insert 'my doctor', 'the other nurse', or any 'other' person tell me....?", please hang up and call that person!
  14. by   JillRene
    Igflamini: O' My Gosh!! I swear ever since HIPPA, get those type of phone calls every day. That is hysterical!