This Was My Day...Have you had one like it?

[AlaskanRN]

Subject: Nursing Station Answering Machine

...Hello, you have reached the _______________________ Nursing Station voice mail.

Pay close attention as we have to update the choices often as new and unusual circumstances arrive. Please select from the following options:

- To whine about us not doing anything to solve a problem you created yourself, press 1.

- To postulate whether someone has to die before we'll do something about a problem, press 2.

- To report a nurse for bad manners, when in reality the nurse is trying to save your life, press 3.

- If you would like us to raise your children, press 4.

- If you would like us to take control of your life due to your alcohol or chemical dependency, press 5.

-If you would like us to instantly restore health to a body that took years to deteriorate, press 6.

- To provide a list of nurses/managers you personally know, so we will take better/faster care of you, press 7.

- To sue us, tell us you'll have our license or proclaim our career is over, press 8.

- To hear this menu again, wrap aluminum foil around your head and turn around three times

[Edward,IL]

"Please log your complaints with your state's Department of Hurt Feelings, Division of Bruised Egos. They care."

[barefootlady, ADN, RN]

Thanks for the Laugh! I needed it.

[Zinnia]

This was great!

How about,"If you are the sixth,or ninth (insert Number) family member calling about your loved one in the hospital,taking the nurse away from the afor-said loved one each time..." Dial another family member!