Social sorority and nursing school. - page 5

hi I just wanted to get some views and opinions about being in a sorority and being in nursing school. I don't want this to vary off topic like some of my other posts have =) but I... Read More

  1. by   Prettyladie
    Quote from nursepink2
    LOL.) We have 1 sorority meeting a month. So its not that bad. I think you should enlist your support system to help you during rush-i.e. mother, father, best friend, etc... someone who is supportive of your endeavors. In the end it will pay off. You will have formed a bond with some ladies that will last a life time. But above all that put God first,then your child, then yourself. With this you can do nothing but succeed. I don't know what your classification is in nursing school, but you will learn that prioritizing is the key to success.

    why do you have a saddddd face lol. hahaha. but yes I do put God first. He has gotten me to where I am now. Without him I wouldnt have gotten into nursing school. I kept praying and I never gave up. I go to to him with my problems, with my testimonies, with everything. So I know I can call on him when I'm in trouble, or in doubt, or if i think I cant make it. But if the sorority in question isnt as understanding, then God will show me.
  2. by   tfleuter
    i dont think i have to spend all of my time with my child to be a good mother. that doesnt mean anything. a lot of the mothers who have posted say they couldnt do it, well they also have multiple kids, and two jobs, or a full time job, and go to school and this and that...and i just have a lot less responsibility so i see that as a "break" in time to where i can add something else. so i see a sorority as "a full time job" so how do you do it. im not trying to be smart, im being serious. how do you balance, being mama, being a student and being an employee. thats basically what ill do. you cant take your child to work, or to school, so i see you leaving your child two different times, and i do too. once for school, and once if i have to go to a sorority function. thats just my opinion and thats how im responding to the mothers opinions.
    We posted at the same time. I think an important thing to point out is that moms who work full time and go to school usually do it b/c they have no other choice! They are doing the best that they can for their situation, but given the option, they would much prefer to spend more time with their children. No you don't need to spend all your time with your kids to be a good mom, very few actually do. But "quality" time can only go so far. I think it is something you will better understand as your son gets older and it becomes more clear just how much his little world revolves around you (as it should when they are young!)

    I think the danger lies in that you won't realize what you are missing until that time is gone and you may regret all the time you commited to the sorority instead of with your son. It really is hard to grasp what these mothers of older children are talking about until your little one starts getting bigger as well. It doesn't matter as much whether it's a party sorority or academic/service one, it's still a commitment that may or may not eat up a lot of your precious time.

    I competely believe you when you say your job as mother comes first and that you will leave the sorority if it intefers with being a good mother. But sometimes in the hussle and bussle of life, we don't see things as they are until its said and done. I didn't join a sorority, but there was a time when i was working and going to school full time and my son was just a year old. I assumed as was well b/c he was always being watched by family and was happy. What I didn't realize until later is that I was cheating MYSELF out of precious time with my toddler and I won't get that back. I have since then stopped working (I feel soo fortunate that I have that option) and try to spread my classes out so that I'm not in school all day either. I still find ways to get my "me" time, but my family is what makes "me" happy, so I make it a point to not overload myself.

    Good luck in whatever decision you choose! I know you only want to do what's best for your and yours, so i hope I haven't offended in any way
  3. by   tfleuter
    I want to see him walk, or see him do this and that, but he'll be walking before it is even time to rush. I mean he'll be a toddler, not 5 and in soccer where I'll miss games, but Im sure that will happen when Im in grad school or at work.
    The toddler years are some of the most precious years to witness. Ok, and some of the most hair-pulling, food flinging, tantrum filled as well, but precious none the less Its not so much what he will remember as what you will remember
  4. by   Prettyladie
    nobody on this thread has offended me..well accept maybe one when she or he said that "i made that decision to not exprience college life when i had a child" or something like didnt really offend me..i just remember rolling my eyes. haha. but yeah i dont take too much of what yall say to heart but i do listen. in the end i know i will make a decision that is best for me, and my son.
  5. by   BreatheFree
    I agree with Tfleuter. Most women who work full time, go to school full time, and have a family, do it because they HAVE TO. You won't know what you are missing until its too late. Best of luck with whatever you decide.
  6. by   Prettyladie
    i understand that most of the moms work because they HAVE to, but im asking how do they have mommie moments because they do work and do go to school full time.
  7. by   whipping girl in 07
    Quote from Prettyladie
    Nobody is seeing to answer my question about how a mother who goes to school and work has their mommy moments. Those take a lot of time out of the day.
    I started nursing school (again) in January 1999. My first year was repeating classes that didn't transfer from Arkansas. The first semester Ian was not quite 2. Here was my schedule: We'd get up about 7:30 or 8. Monday & Wednesday class from 11-12. I'd drop him off about 9:30 and go to school early to study. Tuesday & Thursday class from 9:30-12. All four days I'd pick him up about 2 (showing up during nap was too disruptive), go home, take care of him till bedtime (8 PM), study for an hour or two and then go to bed myself. Fridays I ran errands and caught up on the housework. That was my easy semester.

    The next two and a half years, I was up every morning by 6:30AM on non-clinical days and 4:30AM on clinical days. On Mondays I had a full day of class and then would have to go to the hospital to pick up my patient(s) assignment and go home and work up my patient(s). This would usually take about an hour at the hospital and then at least 2 more at home to get my care plans done. A lot of times I'd be working on care plans till 10 or 11 PM because I couldn't get anything done with Ian awake. On Tuesday and Wednesday I was up at 4:30 AM for clinicals. I'd drop Ian off at 6:15 and he'd be at daycare till about 5 by the time I got finished with post conference and got back to pick him up. Thursdays were my day "off" but I'd usually drop Ian off at daycare for at least a couple hours so I could study and finish my care plans, which had to be turned in by 3 PM, I think. I'd also run errands and catch up on my housework. On Fridays I had class all day. Most of the time our tests were on Mondays so nearly every weekend was spent studying for a test. I'd usually have lunch with some of my girlfriends (mostly other nursing majors since our schedule was so much different from the traditional college students) at least once a week. Maybe once or twice a semester we'd go "out" on Friday or Saturday night. On Tuesday nights I'd take Ian to a restaurant that had a kids' night, sometimes with another mom or with my husband if he was in town. Most of my friends were also moms, which was great because they understood if I couldn't talk on the phone or hang out.

    I was honestly too exhausted from only getting 5 or 6 hours of sleep most nights to have much more of a social life than that. I really only had about 3 or 4 waking hours with Ian on the days I had school. I would not have wanted to miss any of those to do something without him in the evening. Weekends were nice because I'd get up early and study some while he was still asleep, catch an hour or 2 during nap and after he went to bed but still get to hang out and be his mommy. If my husband was in town, we'd try to just hang out as a family or go somewhere one afternoon. Every once in awhile we'd have a date night just the two of us.

    Going to school with a small child was very difficult. I did it because I had to but it is not ideal. I honestly don't know how I would have fit in anything else. One of my girlfriends was a single mom with three kids and made it through. Three of my friends had babies during nursing school and made it through. I did not have any family there and I went through 2 babysitters and 3 daycare centers by the time I finished nursing school. I even had a babysitter quit on me the day before classes started and I had to drop my classes and wait till January to start.

    I had originally planned to go back to school to become a CRNA but I put that on hold because I had two more babies. I missed out on way too much going to school when Ian was little. I miss out on a lot with my little ones working full time but at least they are home with someone who loves them (Daddy) and I can leave work at work without having to worry about studying or being required to show up at a function.

    Turns out I found an area of nursing I LOVE and now I don't want to be a CRNA. I'm still contemplating a master's but I'm not doing that until Eli is in school (he's 3).

    Someone said "the days are long but the years are short," or something like that...that is so true. It seems like only yesterday my Ian was as little as my Eli is now. I know it will be a blink of the eye and Eli will be 12 and Ian will be out of the house.

    Good luck to you, what ever you decide to do. But don't discount the advice of a mom who's "been there, done that" and can't see how she could have fit one more thing on her plate.
  8. by   nursepink2
    The sad face is because that is the only time that we all are together at one time. Anyway, you do seem to have your priorities in order. In my opinion I feel that you should go for it and if it seems to be too much for you then you should pull back, which I know you will. Becoming apart of a sorority is no different than joining any other collegiate organizations ie SGA, Honor Society, Student Nurses Association, etc... All of these organizations require that you give your time and with them as well as with a sorority, if it proves to be interferring with your priorities, then it is time to pull back and refocus on the prize and the important things.
  9. by   Magsulfate
    Quote from Prettyladie
    nobody on this thread has offended me..well accept maybe one when she or he said that "i made that decision to not exprience college life when i had a child" or something like didnt really offend me..i just remember rolling my eyes. haha. but yeah i dont take too much of what yall say to heart but i do listen. in the end i know i will make a decision that is best for me, and my son.
    That's not what was said. If you're going to quote me, take the time and go back to copy and paste what I said.
  10. by   Magsulfate
    Thank you whipping girl for posting your schedule,, it is all too common for nursing students to have schedules like these. I remember in my class it was the exception to NOT have at least one child. Many nursing students have already started their families. I don't know why,, that's just what I have experienced. LIke I said earlier, maybe that's why not many sorority/nursing students are posting here.

    Or, maybe they're just too busy to read allnurses.
  11. by   Prettyladie
    Quote from Magsulfate
    That's not what was said. If you're going to quote me, take the time and go back to copy and paste what I said.
    hahahahahahaha. thats why i said ..or something like that.. chill. its alright.
  12. by   Prettyladie
    okay just an update. i got my schedule for school and i noticed that my school is 5 semesters..hmm didnt know that. so it comes out with 9 semester hours in the first semester and 8 and in the second. and all the classes end by 2 or 3, except there is one that ends at 5, but im not sure if thats the one i got into, but i think i can handle a sorority in school, but everyones thoughts and considerations were taken in and i did listen. thanks so much everybody.
  13. by   loveshospital
    Quote from Magsulfate
    That's not what was said. If you're going to quote me, take the time and go back to copy and paste what I said.
    It was kind of offending and discriminating in my opinion,seemed like you were trying to assume that people have kids can not enjoy their youth and have to give up everything for the family.