Panicing (long)

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Specializes in ICU (med/surgical/transplant/neuro/ent).

Warning: long

Graduated last August, been working in an ICU since Sept. I have come to the realization that bedside nursing is not for me. I worked nights and finally switched to days recently (which has helped). However my problem is that all this has taken a great mental and physical toll on me. I have had to call in several times over the months (especially when I was working nightshift) and am beginning to reach my limit before possible termination. The reason I am posting now is that I called in today (the first time since I switched to days) because I received some rather heartbreaking news about something personal yesterday and when I woke up to get ready to go to work today I was still rather mental and physical distraught and knew I could not focus on work today. My problem is that I just realized a few minutes ago that didn't call in within the time limit (I don't actually even wakeup within the time limit to call in, so if i wake up and realize I can't come in it never is within the proper time frame) and today's absence will count as two absences. It just goes to show how distracted/off focus this morning that I didn't notice this time issue/two absences thing until tonight. Including counting this call-in as two, I believe I have 8 OA's. I know for a fact that there will be a chance I will have to call in at any time within the next few months because of the news I received yesterday.

What really hacks me off is that my previous career I worked as a research assistant at a lab where I probably didn't call in more the 8 times in the 3 YEARS I worked there. I have been looking for another non-hospital based nursing job. Preferably as a research nurse, because I think research is where I truly belong and where my passions lie. So people might say that all this stress is due to a new grad working in the ICU, which of course is a stressful situation, but analyzing the parts of my job that are causing me the most problems: they are rooted in the nature of the hospital environment and with my personality/background.

I did get an interview for an office position about a month ago. They presumbably have hired someone else, but it was a very good interview experience.

Anyway I just needed to sound off to people who might know where I'm coming from or else I was going to completely freak out as opposed to just partially freak out.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Hang in there, dear. Some hospitals have utterly impossible attendance rules. They won't fire you as long as they need you. But I do hope you soon will get a job that suits you better. Life is too short to spend it being miserable.

Hi, ThanksForAllTheFish!. Based on your screen name, may give you these words of advice. . . DON'T PANIC. . .also, do you have a towel you can put over your head? (I'm hoping your screen name refers to the Hitchhiker books. . . or else I've made a total fool of myself. . . either way I am firmly in the nerd catagory!)

I started in an ICU right out of school, and it can be VERY stressful! I had a really great preceptor, and everyone on the unit is very helpful. The learning curve is huge! Like the other poster say, try and hang in there, and don't worry so much about calling in. Yes, you need to follow the rules when you can, but what if you suddenly had projectile vomiting when you woke up and couldn't go to work? I'm not saying lie, but I'm saying people call in for all kinds of reasons and you don't always have the advanced warning to call in by a certain time.

As for the job. . . are you sure you dislike ALL bedside nursing? perhaps the ICU isn't your thing, not because you're not smart enough, but because it's just not "you"? I have a friend who LOVES med/surg nursing. I, on the other hand, new from the moment I had med/surg clinicals that it was not for me, and if I had started there I would have gotten burned out and never made it to the ICU because I would have left the bedside (that's how much I dislike med/surg). Another friend of mine love peds; I cannot handle hurt children (I'm a weeny when it comes to hurt kids). Maybe your ICU isn't giving you the kind of support and orientation you need to be successful. Everyboby learns differently and different needs. There is a new nurse where I work and she had oriented for like two months at one hospital in the ICU and it just wasn't working out so she quit and got hired where I work and has done very well and is a very good nurse. I guess what I'm saying is whatever you decide to do career wise, don't look at this period of you life/career as a failure or anything. It's a learning experience. You will find something you like to do. Nurses can work in research, monitoring research studies (a lot are done by drug companies, or the drug companies hire other companies to manage and monitor their research). I worked as a research assistant before nursing school and some of our monitors had BSNs. I'm headed for grad school now, but I had thought I might at some point get into the research monitoring. It's a lot of paperwork, but kind of cool (in nerdy kind of way, I suppose. hee hee!)

Best of luck to you!

Specializes in ICU (med/surgical/transplant/neuro/ent).

Hmmm, I was wondering if anyone would get my screen name reference, I love dolphins so I figured that would make an interesting screen name. Your DON'T PANIC, towel advice mad me laugh. Thanks!:roll

Don't worry, you're not alone in the nerd catergory! :specs:

Actually I was also one of those students who knew that med/surg nursing would not work for me. ICU is the only bedside nursing I knew would work for me. I like the two/three : one ratio. I love the ggts, the lines, the interesting higher acuity. But, coming from a research background (even as a research assistant), I had more control/better idea of how the day was to go. I not talking about patient suddenly going downhill (patients are always going to be a variable in the equation). I just need a better set schedule, a regular group of people I work with, etc. I have had an ok orientation, many of the staff are supportive. However, I have become the victim on many occasions of nurses eating their young, even to the point I had verbal counseling by our interim manager because of what people were saying to her ( I didn't even get to defend myself). Essentially, ever since I started working at this place, I've immediately gotten a bad reputation and now I have to work against that every day. Factor in the attendence issue (which is totally out of character for me) and it makes for a big mess. At my previous job/career, I was a very dependable efficient worker with a great reputation! Boy things change. I really would like to combine my nursing knowledge with my research experience (animal research) and enter the field of clinical research, but job opportunites have not come up (but I will still keep on looking). I have also looked into office RN positions (not become they look easier, but because it might offer me the stability factors I need). Unfortunately, like most people I cannot quit my current job until I have another one lined for sure. Hopefully I don't get fired before that.

Most days I feel like a big bowl of petunias falling to the ground: "Oh no, not again."

And for the record I ran experiments with mice for 3 years as a reseach assistant and can tell you for a fact that the mice are really the ones running the experiment.

42

Specializes in Telemetry, M/S.

Personally I think that you need to find a job that is "mostly harmless"!

Seriously though....I really wish you good luck in deciding what you want/need to do. It's hard to walk away from a situation sometimes. Just know that it's not quitting!:redpinkhe

Specializes in Cath Lab, OR, CPHN/SN, ER.

Don't worry, you're not alone in the nerd catergory! :specs:

42

:lol2: :yeah:

42!!! I'm NOT the only nerd on this board!

Yeah, I've actually not experienced the eating of the young where I work. I was fully prepared for a year or two of "heck" as a new grad, figuring I'd have to prove myself to the people I worked with. But instead of all that, the unit really had a culture of "so you want to be an ICU nurse right out of school? alright then, let us take you into the group and get you assimilated as fast as we can!" And several of the nurses I work with, ones who have been there for 5 or 10 yrs also started in ICU right out of school, so I think the group I work with really has the mentality that it can be done as long as you get the right start.

When I was in school, two other areas of nursing that I liked were OR (although very different from typical bedside nursing) and believe it or not, labor and delivery. L/D had fewer pts per nurse, and there was something very "basic" about the watching and waiting part of it all; primal, if you will. I should say here also that I had originally though I would be a veterinarian, large animal would have been my choice, delivering baby horses and cattle would have been AWESOME! no offense to pregnant women, just saying it's something that the people (and just about everything else in the world) have been doing since time began, and something very amazing to be a part of. NICU was cool too, your pts are just SO SMALL!!! I liked the OR because to me it was very structured. Have you thought about OR? maybe you would feel you had a bit more control of your situation in an OR? Just a thought.

On a very unrelated note, one of my favorite ships is the bistromath (did I spell that right? it's been a long time), powered by the difference between what you think your bill should be and what the bistro charges you or something like that? I loaned the book to a friend, I wish I could quote the explaination. It makes me laugh every time I think about it.

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