oh shyt - page 5
i had the MOST disgusting patient last night. he has an unusual bowel regimine..... stay home with no bowel movement for weeks, get admitted to the hospital then get digitally disimpacted by... Read More
Jul 24, '02:roll That is the "crappiest" story I ever heard. Had to get the depends out because I kept peeing my pants. And it got funnier and funnier. Nurses have the sickest sense of humor. Why don't you just hand the next one a bottle of mag citrate and a plastic spoon, kind of a do-it-yourself kit. What a pair of book ends in one room!!!
Jul 24, '02i had forgotten all about this thread.....lol
now im thinking about that pig.
im in report the next day and the nurse is reporting off to me about him (i was so happy to get him again) and she says...
he has a hygiene problem...i said...ya think?
then i went off about it not being a hygiene problem...more like hes a pig.
i havent been able to work for a while...but my guess is he was back. for real...this is how he maintains bowel function. and if he hasnt been back...he surely will when i go back...and ill get him...lol
one of the docs said to me....wow, you always get the weirdest patients...lol
i told her..nice of you to notice.
if they arent weird when i get them, they are on my shift....
Jul 24, '02Thisnurse, hang up a picture of Jack Kavorkian in his room and consider giving him a gift certificate. Of course, it is only good for one visit...
Jul 24, '02Oh my God. I laughed so hard at your post. Bless your heart. That was the pooper from Hell. We've all seen this type but not quite to the extent that you wrote about. You are so hilarious. Sorry you had a bad night. I howled when I read the part about you thought about asking him to marry you. :roll
Jul 24, '02You should write that book. You could call it Seymor Buttnugget's School of Fecal Arts 101.
Jul 24, '02book in progress....its a collection of the weirdos i have met in my career.
all fact but nobody will believe me.
you know what kills me is his doc doesnt care. its the same thing every admit..
he cant poop
he goes to ER
he is admitted...oh my goodness is this an obstruction?
surgeons come in...digital disimpaction (surgeons that misbehave get him)
xrays, cat scans, enemas, laxatives, nausea meds
poop all over the place (tho i feel special cos he never saved his for anyone else)
three days in house
a month or two...restart bowel maintenance
and the funny part is HE NEVER HAS A PROBLEM POOPING...HE POOPS ALL OVER THE PLACE...lol
Jul 24, '02You poor thing, Worse poopy story i have ever heard.......Treat yourself to something nice on your very well deserved days off...
Jul 24, '02OMG 10 of 10 on my pain scale, I really don't know if I could have done it. Top on my list of great nurse.
The poop and vomit was bad on it's own
The behavior on top would have sent me over the edge
Great laugh, glad I wasn't there
Jul 24, '02lax him to the hilt, 10 mins b-4 discharge then let him have fun in his car,driveway,his own home thats just my vote, i wonder if he would still call you to come see his surprise
Jul 25, '02A WASHING MACHINE???? DID I REALLY READ THAT RIGHT????
*scratches her head: Ok I give up: HTF do you do this w/a FREAKING WASHING MACHINE????
OH MY G-D!
I have been sheltered so in nursing!