need some advice on purpose statement for FNP school

[smithrn27]

Hello everyone. I am in desperate need of help with my purpose statement for fnp school. I was denied admission and they recommended I rework through my statement. Any help would be greatly appreciated, as I am trying to apply one more time.

Dear Graduate Nursing Program Admissions Committee:

Upon graduation from high school, I attended the University of Washington, knowing I needed an advanced education to prepare myself for the future. I struggled with college, bouncing from school to school due to a lack of interest in any one area of study, which resulted in my less-than-desirable grades. I later accepted a registration position at ________ Medical Center in _______, Washington, and then as a certified nursing assistant in the emergency department. This was where I discovered my genuine passion for the healthcare industry.

I graduated from __________ Community College in 2011 with my associate's degree in nursing. Nursing school was a challenge academically, but it allowed me to grow as an individual and provided me a career path that I am very passionate about. After graduation I was selected for an emergency department residency program at _________ Medical Center in _______, Washington, where I continue to serve those in need.

I believe that my nursing education and experiences over the last five years have prepared me with a solid foundation for graduate studies. It is with great enthusiasm that I am applying to the family nurse practitioner degree program at __________ University.

Through my studies and practical experiences over the last five years in the emergency department, I have found excitement and the thrill of organized chaos and the unknown, as our team has attended to each and every patient. I now know, without a doubt, that this is the area I wish I had found right out of high school. As I make my plans for my future, I am hard-working and extremely motivated to be the best emergency room nurse I can be. I excel at time management, have great organizational and communication skills, and I have become passionate about educating patients. As my skills developed over the years, my responsibilities increased in leadership roles, to include trauma nurse, precepting newly hired nurses, and charge nurse positions. I participated with other employees and managers on rapid process improvement plans and implemented the desired changes within our department. I realized I was craving more education, responsibility, and development in my career, and the combination of nursing care and medicine would be the perfect addition to my portfolio. To be a family nurse practitioner would be a lifelong career that would provide meaning and value not only for me but in the lives of my future patients.

Working in an inner-city level-two trauma center over the last five years has educated me on the difficulties that patients have in managing their acute and chronic conditions and in maintaining adequate primary care. I have seen many patients in the emergency department struggling to manage their illnesses or conditions on an outpatient basis due to a lack of primary care. I continually discuss with my patients the importance of primary care. But there are many barriers, including a lack of providers, insurance coverage, knowledge, and self-motivation, which prevent patients from finding and participating in primary care. As emergency departments continue to be flooded with patients who have failed in one way or another to manage their health, the need for proper primary care will continue to rise. I am eager to be part of the solution in my community by promoting education and patient-centered care to manage acute and chronic illness.

In the Master of Science in Nursing (MSN) program at _________ University, I look forward to the challenges academically, personally and professionally. I am excited about developing a broader understanding of physiology, pathophysiology, and clinical pharmacology as a nurse practitioner, and I hope to gain the confidence needed to effectively serve individuals in the community.

[dishes, BSN, RN]

You highlighted that your were an academic underacheiver twice, but want to be accepted into a competetive RN-MSN program? Suggest you consider returning to school for a RN-BSN degree, work hard to obtain an above average GPA in order to prove that you are academically capable of handling a MSN program.

[smithrn27]

Thank you dishes for your feedback. I am currently completing my BSN from WGU and have a planned graduation date of August. I did better in nursing school than I did right out of high school and was trying to convey that, but maybe it came across as though I am not ready to handle graduate education. I will keep this in mind when reworking my statement. Again thank you for your feedback.

[Pangea Reunited, ASN, RN]

You highlighted that your were an academic underacheiver twice, but want to be accepted into a competetive RN-MSN program?

That was my first impression, as well, although I have no experience writing these types of statements and have no idea what they might be looking for.

[BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN]

I read right away that you struggled with college and had a lack of interest and that is what stuck with me. WHY are you mentioning your weaknesses? You need to SELL yourself and this is the exact opposite of that.