Message to all nurses....sincere thanks and my point of view

[IHeartPeds87]

I am taking prerequisite courses to become an RN. I have spent a lot of time reading and browsing the posts all over these boards and have been disheartened by all the negativity! I know that things are really tough for nurses right now and I completely understand the frustration.

I would like to tell you all a story....maybe put a smile on your face for a second!

I've always wanted to work in healthcare. I have worked as a direct caregiver and totally understand the frustration felt by the staff at patients who don't seem to want to take care of themselves/patients who are "difficult patients" and yell, are rude, etc.

Well years ago my mother had a hysterectomy and thyrodectomy that was supposed to occur in the morning but got pushed back because the doctor was busy with other surgeries that went overtime (thast what we were told) and didn't get into the operating room until 9 hours later. I know it is a pretty routine surgery, I know that the staff was overworked and yet in that case I became a difficult family member. When my mother wanted ice chips (she was told to suck on them and not drink water after the anesthesia for awhile) and ran out of them the call button was pressed and i got mad that the "nurses were taking forever." the truth was the nurses weren't taking forever....they were tending to other patients. at the time though, I was mad. I went to the nurses station and asked in the snottiest voice possible "can someone please get my mother some ice chips she is very uncomfortable."

which was true. My mother was really uncomfortable....her throat was hurting her and the only thing that seemed to make her feel better was the ice chips, where I didn't know where to get any for her and the nurses weren't getting it for her in what I considered a timely matter.

My frustration, really, had nothign to do with the nurses being slow or fast or whatever. It had, in reality nothing to do with the nurses at all. All I could see was "my mother is in pain and uncomfortable" and I can't do anything about it so i'm gonna get ****** off at whoever is around....which guess what is the nurses.

It's not that i'm not thankful to the care those nurses provided. I really am. But at the time I wasn't...not because I was a bad person or anything but from my perspective "IT'S MY MOTHER SHE'S THE MOST IMPORTANT EVER DO SOMETHING NOW!!!"

The problem is that every single patient in the hospital and their loved ones think that way. I know that it is rough. I didn't verbally get a chance to tell the nurses thank you. And even after the whole ordeal, the time in the hospital wasn't pleasant....I didn't want to think about it. I try my best to block that day out...the rollercoaster of emotion was really really high.

I never did get to tell the nurses thank you, or even sorry for being such a pain. But I do sincerely feel thanks toward them. They supported my mother and my family in our greatest times of need.

The point of my story is this....I know that it is an incredibly challenging job to care about people when they don't seem to appreciate it, even in some cases where they don't seem to care about their own health. But let me tell you something...whether they verbalize it or not, they are thankful. You are privellieged to be there when people are at their most vulnerable. Please take that as a gift. And know that there are several unsaid thank you's out there.

[Flare, ASN, BSN]

I am glad that you had the change in perspective. It will help you in the future when you have a family member putting on their biggest attitude and demanding that their family member needs something. Good luck with your career.

[noahsmama]

The problem is that the thanks are nearly always unsaid, whereas the criticisms and complaints are nearly always verbalized. Of course we understand that patients and their families are stressed out, and going through a very difficult and challenging time in their lives. I try to keep this in mind, and it does help me to deal with angry parents, but as a human being it's hard to let the anger just roll off one's back.

I guess the lesson is, if you're ever thankful to a nurse, or even just sorry you were short with her, let her know right then and there -- or write a letter to the hospital a day or two later, once you're home and the whole difficult experience is behind you.

As for negativity on this board, I see this on many boards I post to, on many different topics. The reason, I think, is that people who are completely happy with their careers (or happy about whatever the topic of the board is) and feel they have nothing to complain about are less likely to seek out an online board than people who are frustrated and have something they'd like to vent about.

Good luck!

[BelleKat, BSN, RN]

I guess what I bring to this is that I know everyone feels that way about their loved ones and had I been there I would've showed you where the ice machine was and empowered you. My problem is when I have a patient crashing,actively dying and someone who wants ice chips stops me dead to tell me that their loved one isn't getting adequate care while I'm running to call anesthesia,get the crash care,get D50 to push so someone who is in a hypoglycemic shock doesn't get brain damage.

When I go home that night after successfully getting that critical pt to ICU and hopefully help save their life what I'm going to remember and get in trouble for is that I didn't get someone's ice chips fast enough and they complained. That is why a lot of people are unhappy in their jobs are negative etc.

Even as a visitor people need to learn priorities. This is why there is a triage system always,even on the floors,the sickest pt gets our attention not the loudest. Just another point of view.