Cybercat, there was nothing wrong with your post at all. It was perfect, IMHO.
ARmickie, I'm very sorry for your loss. The other posters gave you some great career advice
. I think once you start nursing school, if that is the path you decide on, you'll understand a little better what all happened with your family member. Medicine and the human body are imperfect. No doctor or nurse has all the answers. It is rather unethical to tell families what they want to hear rather than the truth. We cannot save everybody, and when we lose a patient, it's not always our fault because of mistakes or misdiagnosis. It just happens.
I know many people in my personal life who have come to me after losing a family member, usually after a stay in a critical care unit. They want to blame the doctors for not finding what was wrong in time or for doing the wrong treatments. But believe me, most likely everything humanly and medically possible was done to save that patient. REALLY. It's easy to say that someone was misdiagnosed or undiagnosed or whatever, but medicine is such a HUGE gray area. There are no definites, no guarantees, no two patients alike. Once in a while there are cases that were grossly mismanaged, sure. But it's more rare than most non-medical people think. Just because someone doesn't make it doesn't mean that the hospital screwed up.
Dealing with the families of patients who are dying or may die is probably the hardest thing a nurse has to do in her career. There really are no words at times like that. You don't want to lie and say it'll be all right when you know that most likely it won't be. Our job is to provide the most up-to-date information and then to support the patient and family through whatever happens.