I'm devastated - page 3

I need some advice - hope some of you have been there and can help! I'll try to keep this as compact as possible. I am my Dad's Health Care Proxy. He is 84 year ols. He has Parkinsons (advanced) -... Read More

  1. by   Cascadians
    lgflamini, it sounds like your family was able to provide the very best situation: Aging in place in familiar surroundings with hospice present and family members providing the intense 24/7 care.

    Hospice funding varies but usually seniors get this service at no cost. Some Hospice programs pick up the medications and DME costs too, along with RN home visits, bath aides, pastoral, MSW, and 4 hrs/week volunteer respite visits, and some other services available. But homecare hospice is not funded to provide actual custodial care or 24/7. And the hospice programs we work with have changed some of the meds they're able to cover.

    Best to sit down with an experienced RN MSW where you live who is familiar with all the programs available and all the regulations for your state.

    Best wishes with a very difficult time and decision.

    A well-prepared well-cared natural death after a life well-lived is an amazing and beautiful spiritual experience.
  2. by   jnette
    I am so sorry to hear of your dilemma. This is sooooo hard, and many of us will have face these decisions sooner or later. Have you been able to discuss and explain the options to your father? This would certainly be the place to start... find out what HIS wishes are, after thoroughly explaining each one, and what is involved.

    You and I know all too well what all is involved with the dialysis choice... and while I feel it is a blessing for those who are younger, and otherwise not badly compromised, the really elderly do not fare so well, and not nearly as long.
    There will be the surgery for placing the graft or fistula.. perhaps initially a subclavian cath..all traumatic at his age. Then will he be able to sit stlll for 3-4 hrs. 3 x a week with the Parkinsons..? The food and fluid restrictions... what time he DOES have, even his enjoyment of certain foods and certainly drink would be severely limited if he went on dialysis...so much to consider....how to maintain quality of life in what time he has left to him.

    I hope the others have given you new avenues to persue... I can't help you there... the good folks here know so much more than I regarding these matters. I may need their advice someday for my own mom, who is eighty.

    But I do offer you my support... in whatever the two of you decide. I wish you well. I wish you courage and strength and wisdom. I wish you health of body and mind, and peace of spirit.
    I wish your father the BEST of everything. :kiss