How to ask manager for different preceptor...

  1. ..tactfully and diplomatically? I'm sure my current preceptor will be totally *issed and will badmouth me behind my back badly. She has been there for years and precepted a number of people. She was very friendly in the beginning, but changed her attitude over the last week, and I am not sure why. Instead of telling me what she is upset with, she brought some twisted stories to the manager of what I have done or have not done. I explained my side of the story, but really do not want to deal with it anymore, since she is so negative toward me. What would you do?
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    About ZootRN

    Joined: Feb '04; Posts: 386; Likes: 151

    13 Comments

  3. by   TazziRN
    Quote from mystic_fish0526
    ..tactfully and diplomatically? I'm sure my current preceptor will be totally *issed and will badmouth me behind my back badly. She has been there for years and precepted a number of people. She was very friendly in the beginning, but changed her attitude over the last week, and I am not sure why. Instead of telling me what she is upset with, she brought some twisted stories to the manager of what I have done or have not done. I explained my side of the story, but really do not want to deal with it anymore, since she is so negative toward me. What would you do?
    I would request a meeting with the manager and preceptor and asked the preceptor about what she said and why.
  4. by   mamason
    If your current preceptor is negative towards you, then you probably need to talk to your manager about it. This type of thing could cause a negative impact on your learning experience. TazziRn gave a good suggestion as how you could possible handle the situation. Remember, the facility needs you and they probably would like you to stay on as an RN. Maybe you're doing something that you may not be aware of and your preceptor doesn't know how to tell you. Or she could just be a little passive/agressive. You really need to find out what her problem is with you so that if it is something that you're doing wrong, then you have the opportunity to correct it. You're not a mind reader. Just remember, you are there to learn and make sure you stress that point with your manager. Good Luck.
  5. by   ZootRN
    Quote from TazziRN
    I would request a meeting with the manager and preceptor and asked the preceptor about what she said and why.
    I know what she said from the manager, and she was wrong, I did no do it. Actually, I was surprised she did not talk to me first, but went to manager over my head. I feel like not coming back to work. People constantly talking behind my back, and I am not perceived very positively. But again, instead of discussing things with me and giving me a chance, I am pulled to manager to "explain" things, with puts me in defensive position.
  6. by   llg
    Quote from mystic_fish0526
    , and I am not perceived very positively. .
    I agree with what the other posters have said.

    Also, I think you should try to figure out why you are not perceived positively by your new colleagues. It sounds as if you preceptor is not the only one who does not perceive you positively. If that is the case, switching preceptors might not help much. It would be better to figure out how to present yourself in a more positive light to win the support of your new colleagues.

    llg
  7. by   ZootRN
    It would be better to figure out how to present yourself in a more positive light to win the support of your new colleagues.

    I absolutely agree, the question is how can I do it? They are not saying what exactly is wrong.
  8. by   mamason
    If they are not telling you "what exactly the problem is" then I would insist on knowing. There's no sense in being left out in the dark, especially if you are trying to learn the ropes and such. That just doesn't make sense to me. Could it be a personality clash or do you think they just don't think you are a "right fit" for the job? If that's the case, well, maybe you should look for a different position or a different facility. I find it confusing that your manager will NOT tell you what the acual problem is. It does cost the facility money to train new RN's. I find it hard to believe that they wouldn't want to protect their investment in you and try to rectify the situation so that you would want to stay on after you orientation is over. Facilities lose a lot of new nurses after orientation due to problems like these and then they wonder why there is such a high turnover rate at their facility. Just thinking out loud here. I hope everything works out for you. I can only suggest that you not stay in a job that you're truly uncomfortable at. Nursing is stressful enough without all the extra added baggage that comes along with it. Try to see yourself 3-5 years down the road. Is this the facility you really want to work at and is this the type of stuff you want to put up with on a constant basis, etc? Just some food for thought.
  9. by   veggiegarden
    I would ask what was being said about me as well. It is your right to know. I asked for and ended up getting placed with a new preceptor in orientation, and learned that someone (or more than one) person was starting rumors about me and my perception of my old preceptor that were complete untrue--and I had been there less than a week?! I was very disappointed and this behavior truly shocked me. I mean, theses people didn't even *know* me but it apparently behooved someone to "start something." I'm sorry you are having to go throught this. Although we don't have the exact situation going on, I can empathize.
  10. by   destiny5
    If you are not perceived in a good light by others & you know it's not something you've done personally to anyone, then it's probably your preceptor talking about you/ & who are they going to believe-- the nurse they've worked with for eon's & probably trained them or the new kid on the block. I would pull her to the side ask her what I can do to better myself as humbly as possible & in the meantime look for another job or at the very least another floor.
  11. by   TazziRN
    You still should ask the preceptor what she told the manager, because what you heard was second hand from the manager. This will also give you the opportunity to be in a safe place and ask her why she said it and why she hasn't come to you about problems first. As a preceptor she should be addressing problems with you first, then going to the manager if you don't improve after that. You need to also ask what you could do to prevent this kind of action in the future.

    Be prepared to hear things you will not want to hear and to hear things you were not expecting. It's very possible that there is a problem you're not aware of, but if there is she should have come to you first.
  12. by   Havin' A Party!
    I have a completetly different view on how you should proceed Mystic. Please PM me if you'd like to discuss it.

    Good luck!
  13. by   ZootRN
    Quote from veggiegarden
    I would ask what was being said about me as well. It is your right to know. I asked for and ended up getting placed with a new preceptor in orientation, and learned that someone (or more than one) person was starting rumors about me and my perception of my old preceptor that were complete untrue--and I had been there less than a week?! I was very disappointed and this behavior truly shocked me. I mean, theses people didn't even *know* me but it apparently behooved someone to "start something." I'm sorry you are having to go throught this. Although we don't have the exact situation going on, I can empathize.
    Thank you for your kind words. I'll give it a few days and see. Why new people are so often mistreated, I have no idea. I would think that every new nurse should be embraced because most of the time everybody is so short stuffed, but this is obviously not the case.
  14. by   ZootRN
    Quote from mamason
    If they are not telling you "what exactly the problem is" then I would insist on knowing. There's no sense in being left out in the dark, especially if you are trying to learn the ropes and such. That just doesn't make sense to me. Could it be a personality clash or do you think they just don't think you are a "right fit" for the job? If that's the case, well, maybe you should look for a different position or a different facility. I find it confusing that your manager will NOT tell you what the acual problem is. It does cost the facility money to train new RN's. I find it hard to believe that they wouldn't want to protect their investment in you and try to rectify the situation so that you would want to stay on after you orientation is over. Facilities lose a lot of new nurses after orientation due to problems like these and then they wonder why there is such a high turnover rate at their facility. Just thinking out loud here. I hope everything works out for you. I can only suggest that you not stay in a job that you're truly uncomfortable at. Nursing is stressful enough without all the extra added baggage that comes along with it. Try to see yourself 3-5 years down the road. Is this the facility you really want to work at and is this the type of stuff you want to put up with on a constant basis, etc? Just some food for thought.
    I don't think I'll last there very long. I have a contract for a year, and counting every week. And I am not even off orientation yet.

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