Help with "distancing" myself from a patient

[CharleeFoxtrot, BSN, RN]

Hello all, I am a fairly new nurse working in an LTAC. Our patients stay with us for extended periods of time-sometimes a year or more until they move on to the next step in their recovery. Due to the long term admissions, we get close to patients and their families. I've been able to keep myself detached on a day to day basis, but there is one older female patient who has pretty much "adopted" some of us who care for her.

She has been in the hospital since last year, and even had her son get married on the unit as the young couple had already arranged the wedding and couldn't change plans due to her illness. I was among those she invited to the ceremony and she arranged with the charge nurse for me to be assigned to her that day. I had no problem with helping to get her ready for the ceremony, in fact we all pitched in to make it nice for her and her family. She gave some of us little gifts on the wedding day, little jewelry boxes filled with sweets as is the custom of her native country (we did ask management if it was okay to accept the gifts and they agreed that it was not a violation of policy).

She is being discharged to rehab soon, and when I walked by her room yesterday she called me in. She was very excited about leaving, and insisted I give her my phone number as she waited to maintain contact. As I struggled to form an answer to this my work phone rang...SAVED by the bell! I wanted to ask the community for advice in formulating a reply that will not hurt her feelings, as I've never run across this situation. Thanks in advance!

Signed: That's sweet but no, thanks.

[JustBeachyNurse, LPN]

Blame company policy and wish her well you could also ask HR or corporate compliance for some ideas of what to say

[KittyLovinRN]

I ALWAYS blame policies! I do home health and had a patient recently celebrating his 90th birthday and was having a party. I'm the only nurse who sees him and he gave me an invitation to the party. I kindly declined citing company policy that we couldn't fraternize with patients, it worked like a charm and that kept him from having his feelings hurt. Instead I arranged my schedule I made a visit that day and took him a card, pastries he was dying for and some balloons (I've had him a while and we're very close). He was so excited and he forgot about me not going to the party.

Perhaps you could cite company policy and distract her with a going away party?

I feel your pain, way too many patients have my phone number from calling them to arrange visits, it can get ugly and they become too dependent on you, careful!

[Tait, MSN, RN]

I have friended two patients I had and I love them both. However, if you are not comfortable with keeping in contact with her then just tell her. I can imagine it is hard to do so, but honesty is refreshing. If not you can always quote policy on the matter and wish her well. Either way she will probably be sad, but it is what it is. Just be aware those who you might friend often try to get advice out of you later. One of the two I mentioned earlier often does, but I treat her just like my family and tell her to talk to her doc. She gets it now :)

[CharleeFoxtrot, BSN, RN]

Thanks for the replies...when all else fails, cite policy!