Healing Old Wounds

[hbscott]

I just finished replying to another thread

https://allnurses.com/t55628-10-4.html

which had the unfortunate effect of tearing up some emotional scar tissue and consequently opening up some old wounds. Since I come to this BB to vent from time to time in hopes of better understanding certain things I offer up the following:

Why is Nursing Culture so Convoluted?

I came to nursing as the "All American Boy" on a military scholarship so awarded because of past noteworthy job performance and academic history. As a former surgical technician my goal was to become a CRNA and I set forth to make that goal a reality.

Long story short, in pursuit of that goal I experienced the things that many people do such as sexual harassment, hostile work environments, blatantly biased supervisors, and other offenses that motivated me to leave nursing and pursue opportunities elsewhere that offered a more positive, supportive environment. Consequently I have done well.

The issue? I would have thought that nursing culture (i.e., the nursing profession); would have been more proactive and sympathetic on grievance redress for those issues noted above. What I found was a profession (and culture) pretty much unsympathetic to my experiences and reported concerns when grievance redress was pursued. Why is that?

Success is the best revenge (nobody gets hurt so to speak) and I do take some satisfaction in pointing out my achievements to those who caused me such misery in my past. Yet I still have an emotional (maybe spiritual) connection to nursing that brings me back to various nursing forums such as this in hopes that by better understanding my past I will somehow improve the future for myself, my family and perhaps others who follow in our footsteps.

For those of you coming into nursing I wish you well. For those of you who have elected to stay in nursing I wish you continued success. For those of you who made my life a living hell while I endeavored to be a "good nurse" I offer you this:

**Thanks to the original poster for the image above. It was the best image I could find on Google to adequately convey the message.

Thanks for listening.

-HBS

:)

[hbscott]

Originally posted by gwenith

Sometimes all I can be is a sympathetic ear but that in itself is something.

You certainly have my utmost respect in that regard. I only wish that your friend had been able to find hope in her situation before resorting to suicide. The world is full of cruel people (not just in nursing) but is it asking too much for a "caring profession" to be a little more caring of our own?

-HBS

[Rapheal]

hbscott,

I am so sorry that you encountered such lousy attitudes and mean spirited people in nursing. I have observed this and have some small problems with co-workers who seemed to believe that their nursing job was an extension of their personal life and felt free to gossip about other people, be biased against co-workers and patients, and generally bring their psychological problems into work with them. People are human and do have issues, but that is where management should define that only professional behavior will be tolerated.

When will people learn that they have the right to feel any way they want. They can harbor any resentment, jealousy, bias, whatever. That is fine. But in a civilized society you must not always act the way you feel. You must be civil, you must refrain from allowing your personal attitudes and problems influence your behavior.

Some people show very little self control and can not or will not seperate their emotions from their intellect. If management demanded that a certain code of conduct be followed, then we could stop a lot of problems in nursing.

Most people are good people. But it only takes a couple bad apples to make a work environment miserable. I am glad that you have found a vocation that makes you happy. Rock on!

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

While I'm angry for you about the injustices you've endured and that we've lost a good nurse. I happy for you and admire you for rising above the misery and making something better for yourself and not being bitter about it.

Kudos. Thanks for sharing.

[Dragonnurse1, ASN, RN]

I am sorry that you went thru so many neg. times during your nursing careet but, trust me, it is not all pointed just at male nurses. Around here (deep south) males nurses must be - funny fellows - as I have heard so many others state. By others I mean female nurses, Male PAs, male police officers, etc. I will have to say that some of the best nurses I have worked with were men. I can truly say at least they didnot run when the bad traumas came in. Often the males in our ER bailed out the females in tough situations.

But just become latex allergic and see how you are treated by the medical field.:angryfire Either no one believes you or they just don't care:confused:

I had a patch test applied to my back in may last year, and within 4 hours I was in the ER (where I worked) with diff. breathing, chest pain, wheezing, tachy pulse. I told MD and RN - latex allergic but guess what. A latex tourniquet was used, a latex nasal cannula was placed. Everyone continued using powdered latex gloves around me. When I asked them to stop I was told "get over it". Compassion toward our own never ceases to amaze:scrying:

[karenG]

I am saddened to read your post... but glad you have found your niche.

I dont work in a hospital so its not a problem I encounter... and I am saddened that it is still happening.

I wish you much luck and happiness.

Karen

[hbscott]

I wish to thank all of you who took the time to post the kind remarks following my original post. You certainly remind me why I still feel a "connection" towards nurses and nursing in spite of my absence from the profession. And of course I will always value the clinical experience I gained along the way as I advanced in my health care career.

I don't believe for a second there is such a thing as a "perfect job" but rather there are jobs that tend to be perfect for individuals based upon aptitude, ambition and opportunity. I have been most fortunate in that regard.

I think my frustration with nursing was exacerbated by my sense of expectation (probably unrealistic) that the nursing profession was above reproach. I soon learned differently and the important lesson learned is that we are all human even when we strive to be the best we can be.

There are some nurses I will love dearly until the day I die. Of course there are others I will struggle to forgive for many years to come and that is the proverbial cross I must bear. I will endeavor to do my best.

God Bless,

-HBS