Falsely Accussed, Manager a Witch

[Furoffire]

Today I took wonderful care of a MVA pt. on a tele floor. The patient and I formed a bond, I was kind and attentive. My manager came out on the unit, headed to the patients room and apparently had a list of complaints from a daughter that was out of town. The other daughter was at the bedside and said that I threw the meal trays at the patient, used foul language, abondaned the pt. on the commode, on and on......lies, lies, lies. I was called in the manager's and she read off the list, said she only had a short time to humililate me. I was shocked and denied all the allegations. The manager took sides with the family and said maybe I come off like "that." I went into the patients room to give her more pain meds and the patient broke down and expressed that her family is screwed up and can't understand why they called and told the NM lies. My manager warned me not to say anything but the pateints started the conversation and wanted to speak to the NM to deny the lies.

What bothers me is that my NM cannot ever find anything positive to say about me, I work hard and go out of my way to please my patients and family. All she does is focus on the wrongs. I am the one who usually updates careplans, makes entries in the educational sheet etc.

I am getting tired of being under a mircroscope and feel like telling her to shove it and I've had enough of being her victum. I've been a nurse for a long time and have always had good reports and reguarded highly. Now I feel lke a looser, or am being made to feel like one.

I live in a one hospital town and have no where else to go unless I leave my husband and move back to a larger city.

I am tired and blowing off steam but I don't know how much more I can take with the witch. Any suggestions for assertion. I wish I would of told her to interview my other patients. I cried all the way home and its not the first time and I have never had a job where I have felt like this. This unit is hurting for nurses, always short staffed, you'd think I'd be cherished instead of crapped on. Kit

[Kenova]

Soupy2u,,,do you have any advice or comments??

Do you think I could loose my license even though I didn't take them??

I don't want to be fired, but I don't want to work there very much longer.

My administrater told me I am on this leave until the investigation is over, I just want to put in my notice, but don't want to look guilty. This place is so unsafe that if state would come in unawares in the middle of the night they would be in big trouble. I have been a new nurse for 6 months and that is how long I have been there and the state has been in there 13 times!!!!

[jerimane]

Good morning,

I happened to see this this morning-I have a story that will empower you-I have been a nurse 30 years-this year I moved back to a hospital I used to work in-where old friends are-in one area I was "nailed to the cross" which consisted of being told you were incompetent, could do nothing right-I was fired, but could come back-I wrote letter to vp nursing-and got to come back in inpatient area-I have a master's in this field-things were going well for 3 months-one week, I had a couple of errors-I was asked to come in early to work and I was fired-they had a typed up form with some things on it-I left and took the weekend to think it through and called wanting a meeting-it was refused-I agonized for really about a month on what to do-found a good lawyer-employment lawyer, who said to file a complaint with eeoc-age discrimination-wrongful termination-they also tried to deny unemployment-I appealed-at the phone hearing-a real judge made them admit that they did nothing until the day they fired me and reversed the denial of unemployment and stated that I was fired for reasons other than mis-conduct-at this meeting I was allowed to tell about the nailing to the cross and age discrimination and the eeoc complaint-the manager of inpatient filed a complaint to the board of nursing-which was really goofy-I admited to the mistakes, in our state the board of nursing has set up a program for things like this-called consent to practice agreeement-I took a test that proved that I had no mental illness as the manager tried to say. I submitted the unemployment file to the board of nursing, along with letters from nurses and doctors. The eeoc has issued a "right to sue"-which I will follow through and have the evidence now-I have been proven right-I tried to get meeting and work through this-the manager refused-eeoc added extra charges-denial of due process etc. hopefully your manager isn't as stupid as this one-but as the other people have said-never talk to her alone-go up the chain of command-talk to HR, see if there is a retention nurse, if there is you can tell her-especially the part about that she only had a short time to humiliate you--ask for a meeting with HR and the manager-have your facts together-also if you have an EAP program talk with them-one place I worked, I found out when I was sick and needed their help to get through an illness, that I had been the only person who reported to this director who wasn't seeing EAP--this is probably the case-the EAP person helped with strategies-plus went with me to confrontational meetings--there is help out there and there are resources-I bet you find others who have had this problem-if you are over 40, you are a protected category-the experienced nurse-if there is age discrimination your hospital could lose federal funding, if you can prove age discrimination. It sounds as though you do not work in a state that has a union or hospital that has a union-also are you in a right to work state? Take care and do not be afraid to stand up for what is right-I strongly suspect there are others that have similar stories-and you may unleash a torrent. Good luck.

[clee1]

My only suggestion would be to make an appointment, as soon as possible, with your manager and (wide-eyed and very nicely, of course) say you feel antagonism from her and wonder what you are doing to cause it, and how youyouyou to upgrade your care. can improve? Kill her with sweetness, about how concerned you are that may not be doing the best you can by your patients, and can she help No sarcasm, no rolling eyes, etc. - just play it like the dumb little nurse trying to do her best, and needing super manager's advice on how you can improve. You might be surprised by her reaction.

I respectfully disagree.

To the OP:

This is the tactic of a "nurse from the old school", and is the type of tactic that has failed miserably down through the years.

How do you fight a nasty personality? With cold, hard facts and careful documentation, backed up with the attitude that WE are in short supply, and OUR LICENSES allow a hospital to operate. Managers are a dime-a-dozen. Good nurses are hard to find!

Do you want to be treated fairly? Do you want the respect that your education and experience have earned you? Quit accepting such garbage from power-tripping ego-maniacs and FIGHT BACK! Take the battle to her for a change - but have all your little duckies in a row before you do.

You have had excellent suggestions here: get a lawyer, go to HR, etc. etc. However, before any of those things can be effective.... YOU have to decide to fight fire with fire - you have to decide that you are worth defending. Until you take that step, all the other suggestions are useless.

Best of wishes to you.

[LuvMyGamecocks]

I am new here and I was hoping to find some advice. I work in a longterm care facility. Recently I was helping the LPN sign in some drugs while waiting for the ones I have to personally lockup. One of the narcs I signed in for her was a card of 30 vicodin. When the guy gave me my drugs I immediatly locked them up then left the room. The LPN stayed in there with him but then a couple of minutes later I heard him say "do you want me to close the door?" She must have left him in there alone. Later that morning her count was off and that whole card was missing! We searched everywhere, she said she had it and somehow lost it. (they leave them locked in the med room til they have time to put them away. I have keys to that room and so do the 2 LPNs. But...she said she saw them before she put them away. Now..the bad thing I did was leave when we couldn't find them and told the next RN to call me if she needed anything and she said she would contact the DON. WEll, I go home and they called me back and we all looked again and wrote up statements of what we all thought happened then they sent us home, it wasn't til 2 days later they wanted a urine test, then the next thing I find out is that I am being put on administrative leave because I didn't follow procedure properly! I didn't know what that meant and since I got that news, (on my answering machine yesterday) they haven't called me back to tell me what I did wrong???I am a new nurse and didn't know what I was suppose to do, I feel like an idiot, I guess I should have never left, but I did take the pee test and I did give them any info of who I thought could have stolen it, which to my knowlege now was a big mistake....I feel like they are sabbotaging me and I am scared...I have always felt very unsafe there and meant to find another job earlier and now I hope it is not too late! I don't drink and have only taken 2 narcotics in my whole life and that was for my tonsillectomy!

Long term care is hard when you are the RN Supervisor, not to mention one who only got 3 days of shabby training as a brand new nurse....Any advice?? Prayers???

Be careful....this is what we call hijacking a thread. I believe you may get more help if you had posted this as your own thread.

[Holdingthebag]

These types of managers can be VERY dangerous. Think long and hard before you go up the chain-of-command because if they choose to side with your manager, well, thinks will be worse for you.Every nurse runs into this type of manager at some point in their career. Most of the time the nurse manager will come out ahead just due to the fact of her position. Small hospitals are bad about this kind of thing. Cliques and the power thing !!!! Commuteing is not a bad idea for you. Beats getting kicked in the face all the time.

[RebeccaJeanRN]

Be careful....this is what we call hijacking a thread. I believe you may get more help if you had posted this as your own thread.

Thanks for pointing that out...I was wondering same thing when I read that post (why weren't they either answering OP with something encouraging/helpful or why not start a new thread with their own new and unrelated personal problem?)...didn't know what to say however, so I thought you said it perfectly!

[babalou58]

Just quit and never go back until the manager leaves your facility.....i know how you feel, i've been a victim of the same witch...

babalou58

[MARIMA]

hi to all i been thru the same situation i had a nurse manager from hell,i reported her the first time to my director and we all talked it over and my director asked me to just say how i feel to the nm any how my nurse manager was picking on me for 2 years i cant take my breaks untill my cluster cna are back from break when ever i ask for help she ignores me and when ever i am talking to her she does the same thing so she was reported then i was going to quit but my director asked me to give it a try and see after the talk we did any how nothing changed on my floor i reported her again and told my director i can T take it any more i work very hard i give all what i can but i just can t take the disrespect and so on let me tell you i was crying depressed for weeks asking my self is this for real i do my work and am treated this way i felt like am looser like u said i know how your feeling please go ahead and report her to the director of the hospital god will help you trust me do you know that lots of the staff on my unit wrote a letter to my director because i was leaving they were lots of staff on my fllor being treaded so bad so i had to repot her again now am leaving to another unit and you know what she should feel blessed of having you there she s just a no one whom got the title manager and that s it she thinks she can speak to any one the way she wants my darling you are a human being with feeling and freedom of speach please do report her so no one else will go thru this no one deserve to be humilated and wishing you but the best

[staffing wizard]

I'm a Nursing Supervisor who has heard staff nurses vent this same c/o. I always wonder why you don't go to your NM's supervisor. As long as she continues to get away with it she will do it. Accountability applys to NM too.

[meintheUSA]

If life was fair, where would these nasty, horrid, wrenched people live?

Keep your head up, know you are doing your best.

The best of luck in your new job. If you are really, truly unhappy there, find another job that you enjoy going to. Change your habit of thinking I can "only" work here. There are many other jobs out there. Start your own nursing agency, home visiting nurse/aide company, transciber, etc. until the witch is gone.

Most nasty people dig their own holes. Let's hope they fall in and can't escape until they change their ways.

In the mean time, enjoy venting and knowing we are ALL with you and most have been there, done that, AND SURVIVED...

Keep your chin up and your smiles for the ones you are doing care on. They need you.

[Kev702]

I am tired and blowing off steam but I don't know how much more I can take with the witch.

As far as your NM goes, you're in the right... She obviously should NOT be in any kind of management position.

I long for the days of the "Head Nurse" (remember them???). NO ONE messed with the nurses then, except for her... Then, WATCH OUT!!! If you were in the right, everything was fine. If you were in the wrong - BAM! She got ya...

That being said, PLEASE do not refer to nasty people as a "witch". There are those of us that take great offense at this...

Kev

[tristan]

As a new manager of just over a year, I am sorry that you were treated this way. Maybe she did not receive the right training to be a manger. I just finished a leadership course which is helping immensely. I see you stated that you are always short staffed. That is a huge issue for all us nurse managers, and it can be very exhausting and worth quitting because of. She probably had high dreams of what she can do to facilitate changs and make a difference, but in reality as a manager I am doing everything possible to keep my staff and make them happy to work for me. If my staff leave for other future careers, they are actually crying because they love it where I work. I am close with my staff but it is trying everyday. If I were you and in my position, I would hope you would come and see me and let me know how I made you feel. Managers are far not perfect and do not recieve lots of training to do this work. We are human and I tell my staff if I have done something wrong or said something inappropriate to come and see me. And there are times I have had staff come to see me and I thanked them for their feedback. It is also hard to find the time to be able to tell your staff they are dong well and that you appreciate them. I'm sure she just needs to take a step back and look at who her nurses that are always there for her (including you) and to acknowledge what you guys do. Be the bigger person and approach her in a calm way and tell her how you felt.