ever provided hospice nursing to your own loved one? - page 3

I have been a nurse for 22 years. My husband has just been given 3 months to live. He is 47 years old. He had a bowel resection for his colon cancer in January. He completed 6 hellish months of chemo... Read More

  1. by   JAYNE :DANCE:
  2. by   happthearts
    Hugs to you and yours make sure you take care of your self also when you need too .

  3. by   ktwlpn
    [QUOTE]Originally posted by leesonlpn
    [B]Says "I can't breathe" Sitting up of course helps, but pillows to elevate don't work as well unless in a hospital bed.. >>>>>> In the USA many insurance plans will allow you to rent durable medical equipment-we were able to rent a hospital bed and bedside commode...An area nursing home GAVE me some long fitted sheets and good quilted rubber backed bed pads.Our American Cancer Society also provides some services-maybe similar organizations in Canada do,also..
  4. by   happthearts
    Yes I have done it and yes I have called hosipce in I think personally its diffrent with your family members .I did this for my MIL two months ago 2004 and my mom in 99 . But both times was smart enough to remain the Dear daughter and allow others to care for mom as well as MIL I arranged the care I help But wanted to remain the daughter and Dil Hospice was very good To let me interject thoughts and feelings help when needed .But this gave me the time, just to love them and be there for them as a loved one Not as a caregiver and not to feel they were burdening me .My Mom also felt she could confide in her nurses and caregivers about her fears without burdening me or worrying me . We became a total support system for them when they were dying.

    Hospice is there for the living as well as the dead They will help you deal with all those little things so you won't get so burned out and overwhelmed
    I refere alot to Vista care out here in Utah.

    Hugs You have a hard road ahead

  5. by   Mystery5
    My husband died at age 52 from Lymphoma. I went through a hellish month long hospitalization, my youngest two children were 3 and 16 months, the hospital was over an hour away, his family was in Poland, my family is non-existant. Everything happened too fast for Hospice though, but his brother was here for a month until he died and his sister for 4 months.

    I learned from my mistakes, and here is what I would do differently:

    1) I would have asked for help from where ever I could get it, instead of being brave and stoic.

    2) I would have sent his sister back to Poland after he died because difficult, self absorbed people are stressful to have around, not helpful.

    3) I would have been more assertive with the medical personel.

    4) After he died I should have closed our restaurant right away. Instead I kept it going for 6 months and was at the mercy of the employees.

    5)I should have relaxed more with him when he was home. Instead I was frantically trying to pretend this wasn't really happening and that he would soon bounce back.

    I'm so sorry that you're going through this, it's very very sad.