Bulima problem in the family

  1. Bulimia problem in the family== I need some ADVICE (Post# 1)

    Hello -

    I don't know who to turn or what to do. Worst case senario - my mother has bulimia. It all started when she was gaining alot of weight and my dad had pushed her into 'losing weight' so much that she's always losing weight by vomiting. The thing is that i'm only 19 -- and my mom thinks that no one in the family suspects anything of her doing. when any of us tell her about it she always shrugs it off like its nothing. I know this is a real problem, but as a daughter, she doesn't want to listen to me. When my older sister tried to address my mom about it....she was like 'okay okay I'll stop, I know it's wrong." But lately I can tell that my mom is still routinely vomiting up the food; and she eats very little everyday.

    How can we get it out of her head that this can affect her? Please help....I don't know where to turn!

    What should I do as a daughter?

    Last edit by jewelsvu82 on Jun 23, '02
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    About jewelsvu82

    Joined: Apr '02; Posts: 30


  3. by   live4today
    Hi Jewels...((((hugs)))) Your mother needs therapy to help her cope with this problem, and sometimes if the problem worsens, she will need inpatient long term treatment. The average lay person is not equipped to handle or relate to the problems that coincide with illnesses such as bulemia (sp?). Suggest to your father and sister, perhaps even to close friends and relatives of your mothers that she needs to be supported through this by encouraging her to seek help, even going as far as calling someone to come talk to your mother on her turf, if that's what it takes. I'll be thinking of you, and praying for you, your mother and other family involved in this crisis. :kiss
  4. by   jewelsvu82

    I don't know if therapy will help....she doesn't even want to listen to me or my sister, yet. But, Thanks for your hearts and prayers. But, we are trying to tell her slowly...

    Somehow..... I'll find a way for her to see what's really going on.

    Thank you.

  5. by   live4today
    You are welcome. You will remain in my thoughts and prayers. :kiss
    Julie, I responded to this question in another thread, but I'm not sure which one.

    Feel free to PM.

  7. by   Lausana

    A friend of mine is bulimic, has been off & on for 6 yrs, and it's become a reflex, she can't even stop the purging anymore...so counceling and therapy has been the only help for her. It is a very serious illness & therapy will be the best way for your mom to deal with real issues that are causing her to do this (trying to be in control of things that may be out of her control) anyway, be supportive of mom & try not to push (I know it's frustrating) she's got to really want to get help.

    Hang in there & let us know how she's doing!
  8. by   colleen10
    Hi Jewels,

    I had a roommate / friend that had Anorexia and Bulemia. It was very frightening to see her condition grow worse.

    Bulemia is a very serious problem that only counseling/therapy will be able to help.

    Eating disorders are usually a manisfestation of something else going on - ie. feelings of not being in control and needing to feel in control by limiting food or expelling it.

    Maybe if you can think of what else is going on in her life that would cause her to feel out of control and therefor cause her to be bulemic - you will be in a better position to help her.

    My friend was only able to survive (and I mean that literally) because she was only 19 and her mother had her taken out of school and put into a private in-patient clinic. It has been many years since she started counseling and she still goes to therapy as each day is a struggle for her. Kind of like being an alcoholic - you are always an alcoholic, you just don't drink.

    Hopefully, if you can get your mother to seek help now it will be easier for her to recover. Eating Disorders are such a social problem now that there are many organizations designed to help. I would try taking a look on-line for such an organization or do a search for an organization in your area and try to get information on how to approach your mother and what you can do to try to get her to seek help.

    Best wishes and let us know how she is doing and if there is anything else we can do to help.
  9. by   jewelsvu82
    Yes I posted to subjects with the same topic.

    thanks for the encouraging words colleen. I'll see what I can do; but right now I am still trying to open up to the subject. I'm just scared she might overract and tell me I'm the irrational one. The saddest thing is that I can actually talk back or say things that I am right because I am the daughter (Asian American family).

  10. by   colleen10
    "I'm just scared she might overract and tell me I'm the irrational one."

    Hi Jewels,

    As much as I hate to say it, if she is in denial she will probably react that way. If she is not yet prepared to admit that she has a problem or doesn't feel that her condition is "out of control" then she will most likely deny everything and say that you are over re-acting or that you should just mind your own business.

    From my own personal experience, this happened with my friend and because she knew that we were "on to her" she tried to be more discrete about what she was doing. So, if you confront your mother and she says that she will stop, as she allready has, be cautious that she may be just getting better at keeping it as her secret.

    That's why I really think you should try to find a counselor that specializes in eating disorders and speak to them about your concerns. I'm sure that they would be happy to discuss techniques that you can use to broach the subject or if, when, how and if at all you should bring this up to her.

    Best Wishes again,
  11. by   jewelsvu82

    Thanks for the encouraging words. And I definately think you're right...

    As of now, I'm trying to figure out how to tell my mom about her problem. I just know where to start.