Being a stay-at-home mom and an RN? - page 2

Hi everyone! I'm having kind of a hard time right now with my career choice, and just need to hear about others who might be in or used to be in the same situation. I'm an RN, and I graduated... Read More

  1. by   tepesmitruca
    Hi Otessa,
    I just started reading this thread today (Feb 6th, 2010) & notices that all of the postings are several years old, except for yours! I am in a similar situation and would love to share thoughts and ideas with you re: being a stay at home mom to my toddler while still working as an RN. Please reply at your convenience!
  2. by   tepesmitruca
    P.S. I recently completed my MSN as well, so perhaps we can come up with some options that would work for both of us! Have you thought of teaching part-time?
  3. by   mustlovepoodles
    Quote from Otessa
    I am contemplating this as well-staying home. Currently work M-F, no weekends, no holidays. Sometimes start at 0700 and travel to outlying areas (45 minutes to 2 hours away-one way). Kids need to be in after school care if my husband is working. I feel stressed all of the time. Completing my MSN this Spring-would hate to have all of my hard work go to waste BUT my kids are only young once. Unable to have guitar, piano, or karate lessons because I work FT and my hubbie has an irregular schedule and travels out of town.

    How to make the decision (hubbie would like me to stay home....)

    If your hubby is on-board, you're halfway there. And remember, education is never wasted. You never know how that will work out but it will. I have a degree in nursing and a degree in elementary ed. My mother says I am perfectly equipped to be a mother.

    I was in your shoes about 23 years ago, except my DH did NOT want me to stay home. It took me a long time to get pregnant and I wanted to be with my baby all the time, but DH didn't really see it that way. He was just fine with the idea of putting the baby in daycare and getting back to "normal." Well, I held my ground because I knew that I would never get those baby days back. If I had to choose between the regrets of not furthering my career and the regrets of not taking care of my own children, the job loses every time. So, what I did was make a spread sheet. I slashed everything from the budget that wasn't a necessity. Then I documented a plan for how we would manage on less income and where the healthcare benefits, et al, were going to come from. I ended up working a couple nights a week, mostly weekends, so that DS always had a parent at home.

    When the second one came along, I actually priced out infant and preschool daycare. Holy cow~I don't know how ANYBODY affords daycare! I learned that it would basically take 75% of my salary to pay for daycare, work expenses, added car insurance, etc. It was much easier for us to just keep me working prn weekends and a few week nights and the kids had less chaos, I had more time for managing our meals and household affairs, and we actually had time to go to the park, the pool, and the grocery store!~. And then the THIRD kid came along and we just gave up on the whole thing.

    Quote from NoahsMommyRN
    Hi! I was so happy to see that I was not alone. I just recently quit nursing to stay at home with my son and lately I have been feeling useless. I know that having the opportunity to stay at home with my son is a dream come true, but I feel like I am missing out on learning and staying up to date with medicine! I would love to work PRN but it is so hard to find a employer to hire you just for one day a week, and its also hard to find a sitter. Just wanted to let you know that I know how you feel! Thanks!
    You know,I worried about this at first. But I made the choices I made. I have never regretted staying home with my kids. And when I say staying home, I don't mean I didn't work at all. I worked part-time or prn, but my schedule has always been planned around the needs of my family and I like it that way. My kids are nearly grown now and I promise you their favorite memories have NOTHING to do with my career and EVERYTHING to do with time spent together. We sacrificed a lot for me to be at home, but we always managed to keep the important things. I was able to homeschool the kids for a total of 12 years, graduated one already. The kids got music lessons, community theater, horseback riding, skating, art. They all learned to cook and sew. We always had a garden which pretty much fed us all summer and part of the fall. Our "vacations" were spent visiting family or tent camping. At some points we only used one car(and believe it or not, nothing bad happened!) What we didn't have was junk food, maid or yard service, trips to McDonald's, cable TV, Disney World, or brand name clothes.

    Since my kids are grown and my DH has retired I now have the opportunity to explore things that I never had time for. I have been a peds nurse forever,but three years ago I made the jump from hospital-based nursing to school nursing. It has been a fabulous fit! I feel like I'm using all my education and nursing skills while I'm learning about a whole nother side of healthcare. And my mother is right, I AM perfectly be a mother, a nurse, a wife, and a whole person. I have never regretted no working full-time or climbing the ranks of an organization. My life is exactly what I chose.
  4. by   tepesmitruca
    thank you for your wonderful, inspirational post. it's just what the nurse ordered!!!this economy has had a huge impact on our little family. i'm going to turn 38 very soon and it's important to me to try to have a second baby & to enjoy time with my husband & toddler. we recently relocated to a more affordable area. my husband is unemployed (he's in construction), so working 3 hellish 12 hour day shifts a week has been a temporary necessity while i research other nursing opportunities. with the wonderful input and ideas that i have found here and in conversation with other nursing colleagues, i now realize that there are other options which will put me on the path to peace! i am going to plan my career change carefully & delve into developing a true family budget (for the very first time!). since i finished my master's i keep thinking that i should teach but it's very time consuming (when done well!) and doesn't pay well when you factor in all of the many hours of preparation and other unpaid time! career advancement can and should wait, in my case. i have been thinking of venturing into home care for a very long time and believe that it is time to take the leap. perhaps i could do weekend days. as much as i wish that i could work nights, i have tried and it just doesn't suit my constitution! plus, in my geographical area, 12 hr shifts are, by far, the norm. thanks, everyone, for the inspiration to be brave and intelligent about this issue! thank you, everyone, for your posts!
  5. by   tepesmitruca
    P.S. A special thanks to Must Love Poodles for sharing her personal experience and suggestions! My personal goals include learning to garden & sew and then teaching my own daughter!
  6. by   mustlovepoodles
    Quote from tepesmitruca
    P.S. A special thanks to Must Love Poodles for sharing her personal experience and suggestions! My personal goals include learning to garden & sew and then teaching my own daughter!
    And don't forget your sons! My oldest DS23 started using my sewing machine at age 10. He made everyone pillows for Christmas that year.
  7. by   PostOpPrincess

    I worked perdiem like you when they were tiny, and I am SO GLAD!!!!

    They grow up sooooo and toooo fast.

    You'll have time for that career stuff soon enough.
  8. by   caliotter3
    You are not missing out on your career. You are working one day a week. There are so very many nurses who are not working at all. You will be able to devote more time to your career later. It will be a lot easier for you then, because you are working the one day a week now. Enjoy raising your family. There is time for the job later.