Balancing Nursing and having kids - page 2

Hi all, I am thinking of having kids within the next few years but sometimes I can't imagine taking care of people all day at work, coming home emotionally and physically exhausted and then taking... Read More

  1. by   MrsMRN
    Oh my GOSH this is MY LIFE right now! I am entering my 7th year of nursing as of next month. I got married 5 years ago and within that time period I have had two boys 22 months apart (on purpose--thank you very much) I started out working in a hospital 12 hour shifts. i made it to 36 weeks and then called it quits for the remainder of my pregnancy. We had the baby, and my husband (who is a teacher) watched him on my weekends on and we had a nanny for the days I worked. It was a fabulous time. About when I got pregnant with our second baby a year later, I decided I wanted to work shorter hours during the day so I didnt miss any time with our son, and also because having a child and being pregnant again was much more exhausting than the first pregnancy because you have a child to take care of! So I switched to a .7 8 hour day shift position in the float pool. It was CAKE. And I was again able to take maternity leave 4 weeks prior to his birth. (side note, BE SURE to get short term disability insurance BEFORE you get pregnant, as they pay you a percentage of your paycheck for the first six weeks or so. Its really helpful when you arent working and want to stay on maternity leave for more than 12 weeks) Anyway, once our second was born, we continued with the nanny at our house, and my husband watched the kids on my weekends on. Then, a school nurse position came available in my husbands district and I jumped at the opportunity because then we could be on the same schedule. So for the last year I have been doing that and it for sure has made a difference.

    Having kids is hard no matter what! They require a lot of time and attention, and even though you are tired, you WANT to be there with them. It is so hard to explain--because yes, it seems daunting looking at it from an outsider's perspective but once the baby comes and you watch them grow and learn and love being tired becomes your new norm and it becomes easier. You just make it work. I have an amazingly supportive husband who shares all responsibilities with me equally too so that helps.

    Good luck on the baby making when you are ready! you will not regret it.

    P.S. I am 38 with an almost 2 year old and an almost 4 year old....and we are planning on having one more so it cant be that bad
  2. by   Roy Hanson
    suck it up! You want kids, because they take your mind off work! And they are fun. I have 3. Enjoy them! Shift work plays havoc, but deal with it. Thats how you grow as a nurse and mom! Get the guy that helped create them with you involve. After all, he planted the seed.
  3. by   Glitternurse
    All I can say is that no matter the type of day I had the smiles and pure joy my kids had for me when I got home lifted me up. Even when they were babies, that smile told me they recognized me and were happy I was there. My husband was and is very supportive we work as a team to make sure my children are cared for. We were fortunate enough to have complimentary schedules so they always had a parent home. I now work as a school nurse in their school district so I have all the same time off they do and I get to eat lunch with them once a week. I love it.
  4. by   Roz, RN
    I graduated from college 2 years before we had kids. The day care that my older two went to was wonderful, but each age group had their own fenced in portion of playground with age appropriate toys. I swear, it looked like a kennel! When our third child was born, day care became prohibitively expensive. I went from full time with benefits to part time no benefits. We scheduled my work hours around my husband's. I could still work full time hours, but I could pick and choose which days/shifts I worked. If our shifts overlapped, my parents would watch the kids. We didn't see much of each other for a few years (that may be why we've been married for almost 40 years!), but one of us was always at home. This worked out well for us. Very rarely did one of us have "kid duty" after a day of work.
  5. by   jenkt
    I think most parents would agree that having a child shifts your priorities.

    Before giving birth to my son, I was happy to work full time as a RN plus a part time job. Presently, I am happy to go back to work (now that my son is 16 months old!) but NOT full time. I am lucky that I don't have to. My husband works full time and I have gone back to work on a casual basis. I work on the odd days that my husband has off during the week and the odd Saturday and Sunday. I did one night shift and hated being away from my son who still breastfeeds at night (never thought I would be breastfeeding this long). In a couple months my son will be 18 months old and just starting day care two days a week which is when I will pick up long day shifts (husband will pick up and drop off).

    I think everyones situation is unique. I thought I was going to be like my sister who voluntarily went back to work when her baby was 6 months old because she couldn't do the stay-at-home-mom thing. Instead, the thought of leaving my son (if I didn't have to) when he was under a year old brought me to tears. In the same token, my sister in law was forced to go back to work full time when her baby was 4 months old due to financial reasons. Both my sister and sister-in-law made it work and their schedules became the norm for them.

    You will find a way that works!

    I think it is great that you bring this topic up so that you and your loved ones can try to be prepared ahead of time, well done!
  6. by   suzw
    Don't give up hope, with just one of you having infertility, your chances are very good with IVF. Both my husband and I had infertility issues and I was able to get pregnant at age 40 with IVF. Our daughter is awesome. Hugs, and best wishes!

    ETA: Forgot to use the quote feature. This is in response to the gal facing possible IVF.
    Last edit by suzw on Jun 19 : Reason: Add explanation