Funny patients

Nurses Humor

Published

Specializes in ER.

I had a couple of funny patients recently.

Patient A smelled homeless. He lacked teeth and reeked of cigarettes and BO, with unwashed clothes. He had deep wrinkles and thinning hair. He did have baby blue eyes, I'll grant him that.

He said to me "God granted me with good looks. The women all flock to me. Soon you'll be flocking to me. I look just like Paul Newman!"

Patient B had a pack of cigarettes in his front pocket. I gently chided him about them. He told me that he needed those cigarettes to keep his blood pressure up. In fact, he told me, back when he was a Mormon he had to get a doctor's prescription so he could keep smoking and be a good Mormon, since it was the only thing that would keep his blood pressure up !

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
I had a couple of funny patients recently.

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Specializes in ER.

You are so attractive Davey! Your body odor is delectable and I love the smell of cigarettes that permeates your stylish jeans, with the ground in dirt.

Specializes in critical care, ER,ICU, CVSURG, CCU.

Omg emergent, quit, hitting on Davey, ...as that's my target (((( grins, only meant in humor )))

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

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Specializes in critical care, ER,ICU, CVSURG, CCU.
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Be careful what you ask for......

In my tlx Acura in super sport mode.......?

Or with a #3 pitching wedge?

its Sunday, I used great restraint in trying to keep it clean.....

Today we had a patient that came in to the ER via ambulance for foot pain but when he actually came in and got settled he started singing. He thought he was singing for American Idol...he also said he was in Russia...

There was another case where this older woman prob around her 40's that claimed she "lost" her tampon up there...

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