Funny Patients

Published

One night when I was working triage in the ED a lady came to the desk wanting to know where her son was. I asked her what his problem was that brought him to the hospital. She said he had the "smiling mighty Jesus". After some discussion we were able to determine that he had "spinal meningitis".

Specializes in Management, Emergency, Psych, Med Surg.

We had this little lady in the ICU who had a bit of ICU psychosis. Our phone did not ring like a phone but a doorbell. Every time it rang she would scream "COME IN!!!" often with a few profanities attached. She has this very large mass of beautiful gray hair. We used to keep it tied back with a big red bow. One day we heard her yelling and we went around the corner to find her hanging half way out of the ICU window yelling at the people below "they are killing me up here" gray hair, big red bow and all. Sometimes she would crow like a rooster and sometimes she would sit up in bed and pretend she was driving her car. She was a hoot!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Emergency.

I once had a gentleman patient who was convinced that there was major construction going on in his room. He could describe in vivid detail what they were doing to the room, and how many construction workers were there. He also knew he was hallucinating. It was really strange, because he was totally A&O otherwise, and could recite his name, where he was, the date, year, and why he was in the hospital...He was totally lucid except for the visual hallucinations. I alerted the docs, but we never did figure out the reason for the hallucinating...

Amy

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in LTC.

Not a patient but myself.

My OB prescribed IVP Stadol for pain during labor. I don't know what happened between my first and second labors but it was a helluva an experience.

First labor, no problem at all. I slept between contractions.

Second labor, those were the best hallucinations of my life! I was cracking myself up because I KNEW I was hallucinating. I would be seeing the room how it was until I closed my eyes. At one point, I told my DH that I needed a drink from that fountain across from the end of my bed but there were to many ducks in the room - the floor was covered in them! You should have seen DH and the nurse trying not to bust a gut. And I could not shut up for the life of me! I just kept talking about absolutely nothing. The poor nurse was having more trouble not laughing at me than anything else. Our conversation basically consisted of me saying repeatedly, "OMG, I am SO sorry! I know you have stuff to do but I just CANNOT quit talking. I am so sorry!"

Oh, well, at least we all had a good laugh during my labor.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

In the early 90's my nana had an abdominal aneurism removed. When she was in the ICU after the surgery, the narcotics showed me a side to her that I had never seen. One of her doctors was very handsome - ice blue eyes, blonde hair, Adonis body. Every time she saw him, she would come on to him (she was in her mid 70's at the time). At one point she told him that if she could get out of bed and show him what a good time really was. This was a lady to whom a discussion about sex was taboo, and here she was smiling hugely and telling her doctor she would show him a good time. To this day, my family still laughs about it.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med Surg, ER, OR.

Yesterday had one of the funniest experiences with a pt. Had this confused man in his 60's who is a frequent flyer for ETOH w/d. He had a banana bag going and was assigned a 1:1 sitter d/t his combativeness at times. We were all well aware of what this man's good and bad sides have been through his last stays with us. He wanted to go to the bathroom to void and I advised him he had a foley in place. (I even went into a great detail describing to him how the foley worked and even followed my finger up until it went into his urethra. He was convinced I put my urine into his foley bag. I kinda laughed inside and had to reassure him that I hadn't. When I followed my finger along the tubing up until it went into his urethra, he was astonished that the tubing went into his member. He pointed at his member, looked at me, and asked, "What is that?" "Your member", I claimed. "Is that mine?" To which I responded, "Yes." Now, just wait, this next thing was the funniest thing I have heard so far. With the straightest face in the world he asked, "Can i play with it?" ;) LOL ;) I started to chuckle and the nurse who was in the room with me, just busted up laughing! So hilarious!!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Yesterday had one of the funniest experiences with a pt. Had this confused man in his 60's who is a frequent flyer for ETOH w/d. He had a banana bag going and was assigned a 1:1 sitter d/t his combativeness at times. We were all well aware of what this man's good and bad sides have been through his last stays with us. He wanted to go to the bathroom to void and I advised him he had a foley in place. (I even went into a great detail describing to him how the foley worked and even followed my finger up until it went into his urethra. He was convinced I put my urine into his foley bag. I kinda laughed inside and had to reassure him that I hadn't. When I followed my finger along the tubing up until it went into his urethra, he was astonished that the tubing went into his member. He pointed at his member, looked at me, and asked, "What is that?" "Your member", I claimed. "Is that mine?" To which I responded, "Yes." Now, just wait, this next thing was the funniest thing I have heard so far. With the straightest face in the world he asked, "Can i play with it?" ;) LOL ;) I started to chuckle and the nurse who was in the room with me, just busted up laughing! So hilarious!!!

I just about spewed my Pepsi on that one! HILARIOUS!

And snaps to you for not busting a gut. I think I would have had to go void also! :)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion