Funny doctor orders

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I worked at a teaching hospital for about a year. I really enjoyed closely interacting with the interns, residents and staff physicians. Many times hilarious orders were written by the newbies. One of my personal favorites was from an intern who only wrote "Vicodin" and that was it. No route, dosage, frequency, etc. Haha! We also had a doctor write "b4" in the chart. We assumed they meant "before." I guess they forgot that this wasn't text messaging. Lol! We also had an older doctor who would write things like, "please call help desk to get the printer fixed." Yes, in the chart. Good times. Please share any of your funny stories from charts!

Specializes in Geriatrics, Dialysis.
I had a dr. put in an order for 2 tabs percocet to be given lady partslly...to my male pt....not that 2 percs lady partslly wasn't funny enough. When he came up to the floor and I pointed it out, he was so embarrassed and amused at the same time.

Nicole

Thanks to a new computer program we have several strange orders in the MAR. If we followed the MAR as worded we would be giving several people tablets by both eyes [ouch!], various patches and creams by mouth, and more than one gentleman would be getting meds lady partslly. It is taking a while, but we are slowly fixing them. In the mean time it is kind of fun to imagine somebody trying to actually give the med as ordered!

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Specializes in Gerontology, Case Management, Pediatrics.

HaHa I like this thread. I like anything that makes me laugh and I have had a few out loud laughs and my coworker looked at me with raised eyebrows lol

:-) Thanks to the OP.

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Specializes in med/surg and adult critical care.

Last week saw an order that read, "Daily weights...where are the daily weights?" Interesting...then my doctor boyfriend wrote an order that said, "PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, GIVE ANTIBIOTIC TO PATIENT RIGHT NOW!" A couple of interesting orders.

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Specializes in Critical Care, PICU, OR.
wound care to lower extremities?? Maybe?

One of the funniest things I have seen was by a unit secretary. At one of my first clinical rotations, I was sitting around with my classmates and instructor doing our "day before" patient information gathering when one of my classmates asked the instructor what her patient had been admitted for. The diagnosis: seeopeade. Say it out loud. Serious. Once we finally figuered out what it was, we all busted up laughing. COPD!! I hope she was still in training.

Several years ago on a Cardiac ICU we had a secretary from another unit (med/surg? I believe). She wrote pt's diagnosis: "Cabbage" - read it loud, yes CABG.

Now, we have TOTALLY COMPUTERIZED system, which sometimes we CAN NOT orders old fashion way. Ordering i.e. Zofran 4 mg IV q 4 hrs PRN N/V takes much more time than writing it. Good thing - we CAN read doctors notes and orders, but THEY also can read US. Ha ha.

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Specializes in pediatrics, orthopedics.

I work in an Orthopedic Surgeons Group. On of the younger docts was dictating in the exam room and said the patient "took a digger off his mountain bike". I still laugh about it!:)

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Specializes in Health Information Management.

Thanks everyone! I'm falling out of my chair laughing at some of these! Right now, the one with the man being given percocet lady partslly is my favorite, just from the pure visual; the doc with the TP orders is also totally classic. I can just imagine opening a chart someday and seeing notes written on quilted 2-ply TP.... :lol2::lol2:

Thanks for giving me a laugh today...lord knows I really need it this semester! :bluecry1:;)

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When I worked in the ER, I had a resident write an order, "Wash patients feet." All of us nurses just laughed at him, the attending said, " Good luck with that one."

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Specializes in CT stepdown, hospice, psych, ortho.
I had a MD order "pump calves" q2hr........? MOOOOOOO! for ROM of LE.

Another wrote "family pet to visit STAT!" it was a minature pony!

wth i can't stop laughing

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Geriatric, Hospice.
I use those figures when recording my orthostatics so I remember which pressure and heart rate correlate to which position.

Did he want you to write them in next to the figures? I was actually taught in nursing school that those figures were the correct way to denote position when recording/charting orthostats.

Just a little FYI. Things can vary so greatly from place to place. :)

No I don't think so, the figures were written on the order form (TO), so I wouldn't have been writing the results there next to them anyways. Maybe he wanted us to chart them that way however, which is why he drew them? I don't know why you couldn't just write "sitting, lying, standing", it's much easier than drawing to me! (I can't draw to save my life!)

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We had a patient with a low K so the intern wrote:

"Bananas x 9"

The pharmacy taped a copy of the order on their wall. :D

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Specializes in CT stepdown, hospice, psych, ortho.
We had a patient with a low K so the intern wrote:

"Bananas x 9"

The pharmacy taped a copy of the order on their wall. :D

Ok, what? I know that doesn't mean 9 banana bags. So 9 bananas to eat? That's 18 servings. Who the heck could eat a bunch of bananas? A literal bunch of bananas. Can we talk about the need for a smog enema after all that pectin?

Given, I have a weird deadpan sense of humor but the funniest thing I have ever seen with a MD is after the fellow ordered a smog enema the attending comes up to the floor and he's a very serious, stern man and looks at this liter of fluid I'm supposed to infuse into someone's posterior and examines the label that says "Do not take PO" and then he looks down at me over his glasses and goes " WELLL no sh1t." First words the man has ever spoken to me. It made me giggle. Maybe it was just situational.

((As an aside, does anyone else know what a smog enema is? No hospital I've been at since has ever heard of one.))

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Specializes in Pediatric Intensive Care, Day Surgery.

I love reading this stuff. I work in PICU and we have a doctor who will write "check snot for RSV.". Or "get pts butt out of bed" instead of writing ambulate hallways or swab for RSV! Lol. I've also looked at his progress notes and right After we went from paper to computer charting I read a note he had written that stated, "pt not drinking but unable to read the organized ******** in the graphics. ". Haha. Not as good as some that vie read on here

But had to share. :)

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