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Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

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:D :D :p

Had pt. that insisted that eating raw potato relieved nausea. Knew that dietary would question request for raw potato, so called dr. and got order for raw potato times one PRN for nausea.

micro:p :p :p :rolleyes:

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We had an ER Attending who refused to talk to the nurses. I guess we weren't "worthy" of his time. A poor elderly patient was in respiratory distress and on a 100% NRB mask on arrival. While my back was turned to get an IV, the MD placed a post-it note on the mask. When I turned around, the MD was gone. The post-it note read "Prepare to intubate". Needless to say, this MD didn't last very long, Thank Goodness! :rolleyes:

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Jeanine all I can say to that is "the arrogant so & so"

Some of them seem to forget they are people too.

Well I am just a new graduate and have to funny ones from my student years.

1) When working on the orthopedic ward I came across this that was written under the diagnosis SOSFOLFOFNOF

:confused: :confused: :confused:

After tracking down the dr he explained it to be "same old story frail old lady fell over, fractured neck of femar". Quietly I smiled to myself while my preceptor suggested that whilest it was funny maybe not quite appropriate.

2) In the paediatric ward a discharge summary read

Fell from monkey bars at school

FOOSH!

My preceptor laughed honestly thinking the dr was making sound effects, I suggested (in a very non-threatening way, as you do when you are a student) that is could POSSIBLY mean "Fell on out streached hand".

:p :p :p

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Here was a weird episode with a poor sot 3 sheets to the wind.....

Several years while I was working, this slightly (ok...really trashed) patient comes into my ICU. Now the admission assessment form asks if the patient is an organ donor (not the brightest question to ask a patient on assessment I think, but they put it on the form.....). The poor drunk didn't know what an organ donor was, so I explained to him what organ donation meant, and that it was intended for AFTER death should he wish it. He then replied that he was NOT an organ donor. About an hour or so later, there is all this noise coming from his room.....he was pulling his monitor wires off, IV out, climbing out of bed yelling "PLEASE KILL ME BEFORE YOU CUT MY HEART OUT!!!!!" I swear this actually happened. Well after I finished laughing myself silly, I went and reassured the poor scared to death patient that we were not going to cut his heart out or kill him. Go figure....:D

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When I was active duty in the USAF (many moons ago) we all pulled a rotation in the ER. We got the usual real injuries and the usual whackos....but on one chart or one of the whacko visits the MOD (medical officer of the day) was so frustrated with the numerous visits that he carved the shape of a turkey in the erasor tip of a pencil and stamped the man's chart with it (in the corner) after he did his usual discharge note. We all laughed but wondered if he would get in trouble for doing that. I don't think he ever did.

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CARDIAC SURGEON CALLED DURING ONE WILD FULL MOON, PATIENTS SCREAMING, TUBES BEING PULLED OUT-ATIVAN I MG PO/IV/IM TO WHOOEVER NEEDS IT UNTIL THEY QUIET DOWN.

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I just started corrections nursing:eek: No other nursing like it in the world!!!

Anyway, one genius (not) told me the Psychiatrist prescribed "Anthrax" for his nervious condition. When I explained the difference he paled and asked VERY seriously if the doc could have really made a mistake and given him the wrong rx.

YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP!!!!!!!!:D :D :D

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About twenty years ago I was on night shift on an orthopedic unit in a university-affiliated hospital. The marginally legible physician handwriting on this particular service was legendary; to this day I can't satisfactorily answer the question as to why one would allow a person who can't write access to sharp instruments!

In any case, we had to review the day's orders on each patient's chart to determine whether they had been enacted. Imagine my shock to discover the order "Amputate between ears."

When the service rounded in the morning I approached the house officer in question to ask him to clarify the order. He turned a lovely shade of scarlet and muttered, "Ambulate between bars!":eek:

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We had a patient transfer to the ward, and the SHO had written the various details about the patient, and on a post-it note on the front he had wrote:

"PT'S SO -->proctalgia."

The note is now framed above the nurses station!! We all appreciated the warning:D

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I swear to God that I have a file of "Stupid Orders" I've collected over the years but my all time favorite is....

"Patient is a full code unless there is no hope." :eek:

It was written by a Resident and I had a very long talk with him after he wrote it. I suggested that he not use the EMT parameters of "decapitation or decomposition" for determining if there was no hope!!

Another order, obviously written by a very tired Doctor, was...

"Give Tylenol ES 2 tabs PO for temp >200"

At that point, I don't think that Tylenol is the answer!!

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This is the best laugh I have had in 2 days!! We had a MD write once: Please pull pt up in bed. For crying out loud, just come and get me and tell me the pt needs repositioned!!

Another favorite "dumb" order I have seen several residents write is: Call physician on call for declining condition, abnormal VS or critical labs. :eek: :eek:

This has to be one of my favorite all time threads!!

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Originally posted by Katmanduuu

I swear to God that I have a file of "Stupid Orders" I've collected over the years but my all time favorite is....

 

"Patient is a full code unless there is no hope." :eek:

 

It was written by a Resident and I had a very long talk with him after he wrote it. I suggested that he not use the EMT parameters of "decapitation or decomposition" for determining if there was no hope!!

 

Another order, obviously written by a very tired Doctor, was...

 

"Give Tylenol ES 2 tabs PO for temp >200"

 

At that point, I don't think that Tylenol is the answer!!

I think at the temp of 200, one should flip the pt over, and baste liberally

--Barbara

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