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Humor   (1,426 Views | 4 Replies)

4,976 Profile Views; 437 Posts


"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding

items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her

wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come

shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil

thing I could do to him."


While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with

communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the

Instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know

the things that are important to each other."

He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's

favorite flower?"

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and

whispered,"It's Pillsbury, isn't it?"

The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.


A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the

aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help

him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few

minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton

balls and a ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused,"Sir, I thought you were looking

for some tampons for your wife?"

He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday, I

sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of

cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some

rolling papers; because it's sooooooooooo much cheaper.

So, I figure if I have to roll my own, so does she.


A couple drove down a country road for several

miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an

argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the

husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."


A husband read an article to his wife about how many words

women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat

everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"


A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how

you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."

The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made

me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; and

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"


A man and his wife were having an argument about who should

brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,

and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here

and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can

just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it

is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New

Testament and showed him at the top of several

pages, that it indeed says..........


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231 Posts; 3,839 Profile Views

these are tooo funny.. I printed a copy to take to work. I think it will brighten everyone's day

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219 Posts; 4,499 Profile Views

:balloons: :rotfl: awesome:rotfl: :balloons:

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2,083 Posts; 11,679 Profile Views

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: jolly good

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Burnt Out has 19 years experience as a ASN, RN and specializes in Med-surg; OB/Well baby; pulmonology; RTS.

647 Posts; 10,749 Profile Views

Too funny :chuckle

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