mommalumps

Okay, normally I do not respond to negativity and if this is the atmosphere, I will never post on this forum again. Nurses REALLY do eat there young; thing is I AM NOT YOUNG AT ALL. Goodbye, allnurses...

Thanks for the advise; yet I claim a job at Camp Pendleton as an RN in the NAME of JESUS and I know that I can and will.

Hello All!!! I have been able to sit for my boards since January 2010. Why did I wait so long to take them? Well, I am still in school (BSN program) and the job pool is FILLED (I still work as a Nursing Assistant at a San Diego hospital after 1 year). I am about to take my boards before I graduate in December. I am interested in working as a nurse at Camp Pendleton in San Diego. Does anyone know if new grads are welcomed there or if ya'll have any advice on how to "break into" an entry-level position to possible build my skills? I am a single mom with 3 HUNGRY teenagers and I need a good job now. Thanks in advance

Hello All of YOu Wonderful Folks out there in Allnurse Land!!! To those of you who gave me wonderful advise, resources, prayers, and encouragement... Thank You!!! I left with my kids and we never turned back. I am not afraid now, I am FREE and it never felt sooo good. My kids and I are recieving the best care from some extraordinary people who actually CARE. The road is very long and will be full of bumpy roads, yet I am GIVING IT TO GOD; I can not do this alone. To any man or woman who is enduring any type of abuse (we know the types and it is not just "physical"), find your inner self and get help; TALK TO SOMEONE. Everyone CANNOT just "leave"; it is a process. I am with an organization that not only helping me with housing to get back on my feet, but they are going to help me pay for my NCLEX GOD IS TRULY GOOD!!! Thank you is not a stong enough word to express my gratitude. Because of you all, I have a BRIGHT future as an R.N free from fear and hurt. :yeah:God Bless you all!!! Sincerely and With Much Respect, ~ Mommalumps~

Thanks Neice59, I feel exactly what you are saying. In an earlier post, I wrote that he is constantly "setting me straight" or inviting my children into our arguments. I have just stopped responding; I am the afterthought to a point or "lecture" involving my children by him saying, "Now, if there is anything that you would like to say, here is your opportunity because I am done." I have no hair on the side of my head from scratching and pulling my hair ( I have horrible anxiety). I hide it with various hairstyles. This is not healthy for my children or I;this is NOT a life, I am existing. Last night, I heard him talking to someone at around 0130; It was my 16 year old son. He was talking about why he doesn't take me out to dinner, that I have problems with communication and that is why we are breaking up, and that I have a past that is marred with scandal and that he is very upfront about what he does (i.e: his affair(s), how he hates people, why he gets into trouble, etc,etc.). When I got up to empty my bowels ( I have bubble guts when I get furious), the talking stopped and my son went to bed. I have been also devising a plan to leave. I have no proof (police reports, etc.) of the mental abuse that I experience now. But I would rather live in a car than to live like this anymore. He does not work (on disablility) and this will be extremely hard. I feel like I want to vomit... Your friend is 100% right, I have given this person power and the ability to entangle me and these kids in his mentally ill world for too long. If you guys don't here from me for a while, it's because, I wish to reclaim my life back. When I do, I feel that only then will I feel the need to come back a new, better, stronger REGISTERED NURSE... God Bless you neicey59 all all of the posters on allnurses!!! ~Mommalumps~

Thank You, NorthstarONC !!! I will keep everyone her posted. My kids are 16 (boy) and 12 (twins, boy and girl). I will look for a fund for the testing; I didn't think of that. As soon as I am healed, I will apply for a nursing assisting job near my apartment; I have about 1 yr of experience doing that. At this point, I am willing to work at a dollar store of Burger King. Thanks again; I love posts that help me think . You guys are the BEST... ~Mommalumps~

I did not read your other post before I responded... DO you know this schmuck or do you live next door??? He dared me to punch him in the face 3 weeks ago. He has a HUGE photo of his baby in our living room and I pushed it over and told him how it hurt me. He told the kids " Come see your mom, guys!" After that episode, I allow him to yell and hoot and I, in turn, apologized to my kids and refused to argue or react in front of them. I am exhausted...

Streamline2010, The woman in your post is MY hero!!! I love that our "BALLS" are on the inside protected from the elements!!! She had HUGE ones!!! To stay is my plan, because my kids have been through so much change. Five years ago, they endured Hurricane Katrina and they still talk about it. The test is over $200 + fingerprinting+ passport picture+ application fee, which is over $325. I have been doing a lot of research and found info on PRO bono lawyers, shelters, churches, community services, welfare offices, and so on. I really don't have much in terms of support from family, we are estranged, but the good news is that I am reaching out to find them by finding numbers, leaving messages, and the such. This is just one of those "brick walls" that Dr. Randy Pausch was speaking of. It is not just a factor of "just leave" or "how can you stay?" Thanks for your words and understanding. ~Mommalumps"

Thank you rosey2007cna!!! I love your attitude!!! It is getting to that point for me, yet this schumk will use his bullying techniques and lots of drama that will SURELY involve the children. Which I am trying to avoid at all costs. God Bless you and I hope that you have support and that all goes well for you.. ~Mommalumps~

thank you and god bless you,junebugfairy, i have a slight delimma,i have a history of domestic violence, yet i have no record of the emotional and financial abuse that i have experience since being here. can i still get help. as i stated earlier, my children are older. i called seveal places and they said that this is a problem. i have no finances at this point and this is extremely frustating. i am going to continue to search until i find an open door or my own way.thank you, again for your support... ~mommalumps~

Vampymegs, God Bless You. Your words were not preachy at all; they inspired me to move forward. I do not have any friends or family members here, my family is in the south and I am on the west coast. As you may know, I don't go out for coffee or dinner with classmates or I am accused of God knows what. My kids and I have lived this way in the past and I am just DONE. My education has "made me so important", according to him; I downplay it to keep the peace (SO sad). My children are older and would make it a sticky situation in a shelter environment (I checked). I hope that in the coming months that my post will become happier. Thank you for your words... I have a lot of work to do... ~Mommalumps~

Thanks Ya'll for the heart felt words and HUGS!!! I am all alone here and I hope that my life takes a wonderful turn. Thank you!!! ***HUGE HUGS for ALL***

Hello All!!! I am tired of keeping this to myself and suffering alone. Here is a little background, my husband has a history of both emotional and physical abuse. Whenever I stood up, he pushed me down by reminding me of my past ( which is very, very painful ). Before I started nursing school a few years ago, I had a horrible bout with major depression; I had no plans but knew that I needed to support my three babies (which are teens now). As I got more education, he became even more jealous. As long as I was depressed and dependent, he was happy. Now that I am graduating next week, he needs me to "appreciate and respect" him because now I am "high on a horse." Last year, my husband and I argued and he was yelling about how I couldn't pay bills or keep a job - for heaven's sake, I was attending Nursing School (BSN program, mind you). I literally scratched a hole in my head due to anxiety. True story... While I was in my Pediatric rotation, I needed a little kid to do developmental tests on. He bought me a baby from his "friend." The next day, he sat in front of the family and introduced us to his daughter - which was the child that he bought to me for testing!!! I was in RAGE; not only because of his infidelity but the way he introduced the child (whose mother has 5 other children and has been calling and hanging up). I AM getting tested!!! I can go on forever with this story, but I just need advise. Not on how I should divorce this creep ... but that I am on Workers' comp and get pennies; I was injured picking up a patient. I can not pay to take the NCLEX and I want to start my career and my LIFE!!! His income is greater than mine and I have no family here. It is a very painful period in my life - along with it being the happiest. I am the first in my entire family to get a degree. I am so stressed I just need you guys!!!

I'm with SangGang92!!! Either shadow or just sit out in the ER, just to observe (I used to do this when I was a teen; I was a rather "groovey" kid). An LTF is where I hope to join to kick off my nursing career. RN's and CNA duties and responsibilities are worlds apart, as you know. Trust me, I am still a Nursing Assistant until I land a job as an RN. I graduate with a BSN and it is as hard as ALL out doors to grab a new grad program unless you have dinner with the Nurse Managers or complete a "Solid Gold"(old dance/music show in the early to mid'80's, if you are a youngster) rendition of "Catch me I'm Falling" with your friends in front of the hospital in which you choose to work. :dancgrp:Personally, I have tried this, yet it does not work (just kidding)... Anyway, all jiving a side. You have the minerals to get into a BSN program; that says a lot. Also, you do not want to regret not completing your goal to be an RN for the rest of your life, you know? There are many factors that could make a person say, " Oh HEck no!!! I WILL NOT do this??!!!" When your gut says this, it is time to walk away. I sat out for a year, due to financial problems, at it ate me up inside. When I returned to school and I felt brand new and eady to tackle the world. I hope that whatever you decide, please remember that if everyone wanted to be an RN, everyone would do it. It takes a special breed to care for human beings: consider youself as special:yeah:

clb6885, I am so sorry that you are working hard (sweating and running a marathon for 12 long hours) and proving yourself as a new nurse worthy of this career. I am about to graduate in July w/ a BSN and I currently work as a Nursing Assistant, although I sweat and run marathons throughout my shift (because I have to move to stay awake and I don't like to gossip or read Mary Claires or Vogue at the Nurse's station). I work as a N.A because I have bills and everytime I apply for a new grad program at the hospital, I get turned down. I get more pts. and less help, as well. The nurses do not know that I am in college 1) because we don't talk unless they need help or I ask about the pts. 2) they don't care and 3) I am "just" a Nursing Assistant. So, I understand that lack of help w/ a sprinkle of disrespect. As a new grad, please take the time out to congratulate yourself on years of hard work and accomplishing something that we "newer" new grads can only dream and pray about: landing a j-o-b as an RN. What helps me is to spend time with your pts. and yourself. Ask questions and use your resourses (nurse manager, *GULP* other nurses) only after you have researched the textbooks on the floor and came to your conclusions. You ARE educated, you ARE worthy!!! Fear will make you into one of the FINEST nurses on your floor because it effects you internally and you WANT to make a difference; PLEASE hold this trait firm to your heart. If you feel that this is not for you, gain the experience and move on, if you choose. Nursing School is a breeze compared to the real world, huh? I hope that I have encouraged you in some small way. Good Luck to You...