First year nurse. Thinking about leaving field altogether.

[mhadvrn34]

Hey y'all. I've been a nurse for almost 9 months now and I'm seriously considering leaving the profession altogether. I graduated in December of 2018 and was ecstatic when I got a position as a new grad RN in a med surg residency program starting July of 2019. Packed up all my things and moved three hours away to a very rural community knowing no one.

From the moment I started, I struggled heavily, mostly due to anxiety which I was clinically diagnosed with two years ago and take meds for. I made a lot of mistakes and was constantly on the radar of my nurse educator and supervisor. Two months later, I got called in to my boss's office and she let me go over lying to my preceptor over charting something which I didn't. They felt as if they couldn't trust me anymore.

My options were get fired or be forced to resign. I was devastated. Moved back home to my parent's house and began looking for a new position.

Luckily, I landed another job in a psychiatric rehabilitation facility. Even before starting nursing school, mental health was my passion. I knew I wanted to work psych in the long term. I started this position late October of 2019 and lasted 3 1/2 months until Valentines day. I worked NOC's and was the only licensed staff for that shift. I was overwhelmed, had virtually no support and had to deal with toxic coworkers.

On February 12th, I made the mistake of covering an AM shift and was responsible for pulling meds from a med cart in sheets the old fashioned way and giving them to 50 patients. The next day my boss found out I made a ton of med errors and I seriously thought I was going to be fired on the spot. He gave me another chance to my surprise, but I had had enough and decided to quit.

My current position is in an acute psych facility which I started per diem in January of 2020. Here I feel like I have tons of support, charge nurses who are constantly checking up on me. I've only been called into my boss's office once in 5 months over messing up charting. I feel as if this is less hectic than my last job but I am very unhappy with it.

Psych nursing is not what I glorified it to be. What I thought psych nursing was vs what it really is is not what I expected it to be. What I feel like I really want to do is more in the line of social work or clinical psychology.

On top of all this I screw up constantly and have this fear of getting fired every time I step into the hospital. Today, I made a med error and sort of freaked out and stormed outside the patient's room after realizing I gave meds to the wrong patient. My coworkers tried to comfort me but now I feel like they feel like I can't be trusted.

I'm starting to think nursing is just not for me.

I'm fed up, burned out and I've come to the point where I just don't care anymore and I feel numb. I've had 3 jobs in 9 months which says a lot.

Opinions?

[Sarah Amelia]

Nothing, just short of anaphylaxis, ever gives you the right to say an "event" caused you to skip over the Medication Rights...sorry my friend. These are excuses, at best. I have anxiety as well, but I ensure I talk ALL the measures I can to prevent that affecting my work life (seeing therapist weekly, meds when I need them/able to take in safe situation etc).

Be smart, not sorry.

[Littleblackdog, ADN, BSN, RN]

On 5/21/2020 at 12:20 PM, Link648099 said:

I didn't read all five pages of posts, so maybe this was already covered, but I'd recommend a careful assessment of your situation.

Your anxiety is expected, especially as a new nurse. It will take you several years of nursing to get to a point where you're comfortable as a nurse. Think of it like when you first started driving at 16. Lots of nervousness and anxiety, but hopefully by now you drive well and relatively safely without much thought. Nursing is the same way. It takes time.

Regarding your medication error problem, that's a big thing to start working on. I would recommend, aside from slowing down, is create a list you can look at that lists the five "Rights" so you can go through them for each and every patient. Do that for a week and it'll be second nature and you will get better as long as you stick to those five Rs.

Finally, have you considered different fields of nursing? I don't like giving medications. Nor do I like having more than one patient at a time. I also like doctor's close by, and my patients asleep and family far away. So I'm an Operating Room nurse. The only things I insert in patients are Foley catheters. I don't worry about meds or patient vitals or potty breaks or baths or nagging family members or all the stuff that goes on on the floors.

Maybe something like that would be a better fit for you. You have to look at your own strengths, weaknesses, and desires and go from there. Maybe you can find something that's a better fit for your strengths?

Think about that before you torch your entire career.

[wannaretire]

I think this nurse originally mentioned a 9 month course of problematic events. Surely enough time eto have gotten basic medication administration in order. OR nurse...maybe....but will she be able to get it together when she has a demanding surgeon ?

[Alnitak7]

If the work load is overwhelming then why not try working for a home nursing agency where you would have only one patient at a time. That way, you would be able to slow down. In my nursing text book it said to check the med labels three times before you give the med and to chart immediately when the patient takes them and with home care, you would actually have enough time to work this way. Home nursing would also give you a good foundation for social work. Most of the home nursing agencies I worked in had supportive co-workers as well.