New grad dealing with mixed feelings not sure what to do

[nursex23]

Hello,

I'm a new grad who was lucky enough to land my first job at a long-term acute hospital. I'm 2 months into orientation and so far it has been going well. I feel that I have support from my preceptor, from management, and from most of the other nurses. During my short time here I feel that I've learned a lot but I'm still going through the new grad emotions of feeling overwhelmed and not competent but EVERYONE tells me that's normal and that I'm doing great. Sometimes I feel like I lucked out with this job, however, this isn't what I want to do. I want to be a NICU nurse but I took this job with the intention of getting a year of experience and moving on. However, I find that I'm completely miserable. I cry all the time before and after work. I see less and less of the ones I care about the most and it makes me sad to think that I'm not loving what I'm doing. Part of me wants to seek a position in labor and delivery, another part wants to seek a job in a larger hospital where I can eventually transfer to the NICU, but then another part of me says that the grass isn't always greener on the other side and to stick to my 1-year plan. But the thought of spending 1 year here makes me really depressed. I was just hoping to get some insight and maybe some advice as to what to do.

[Workitinurfava, BSN, RN]

It is called stress for a reason. You will either learn to adapt or it will always consume you. It will never fully go away because it is keeping you from making serious errors but it will and should lessen with time.

[subee, MSN, CRNA]

You have to find out what makes you relax and tune out to work when you are off. It's not easy because nothing that works well is easy. I know it may sound trite, but learn a yoga routine that you can do at home as soon as you get home. This, too, will take time but I remember crying the first day I had to do meds and it was so busy that my supervisor told me to just give the necessary ones. No colaces that day! The first year is exciting and awful at the same time. Counseling may help you find alternatives to negative thinking and give you better coping skills.

[neonn965]

Just reiterating... it can be very difficult to find a L&D/NICU position. A lot of the positions go to people who "know people", worked there as a tech/secretary, or nurses with NICU/L&D experience. So while yes, you could try, it's not as easy as waking up one day and going out and getting a NICU job. Also reiterating since I've been there... you will feel completely overwhelmed and worthless, more so than you do now working with adults, when you start in NICU. It's like being a new grad on steroids.