I am sort of peeved, and sad, that my first rotation is in the Oncology unit. I think it is a hard place to put new students. We are the only ones, out of 90+ students in the day program, to be on this unit. Everyone is very nice - I have no problems with that.
My problem is that I lost my mother a year ago this week, at the age of 61. She had survived a non-smoking related lung cancer twice (only needed surgery, no chemo), but had been having terrible back pain for many years. She was on some heavy meds, an inplanted TENS unit, and eventually an implanted pump for Dilaudid. After getting a (relatively, for her) clean bill of health from her oncologist, she died of a massive heart attack last September 29th, the day before my son's 11th birthday.
My pt tomorrow (without going into much detail) is an end-stage cancer pt, unresponsive, needing total care. The pt. is between 50 - 60 - young by any means.
I haven't told my clinical instructor about this, but I know tomorrow is going to be very, very hard. Last week was not, because my pt. had a mass removed, but it wasn't cancerous. The pt. was very actively participating in their care last week, and was a wonderful person to a brand-new student.
I'm so afraid of crying tomorrow, thinking about my mom. I just don't know how I'm going to get through tomorrow, and maybe the next few weeks, trying to act professional and not break down.
I also was very scared of the oncolgy rotation, but it ended up being my favorite rotation. I learned so much about holistic nursing care, caring for the whole person.
I too had and end stage cancer patient who was getting comfort measures. My instructor was very reluctant to give this patient to anyone, but the census was low so she asked who would take her and it would only be for one week since we were supposed to be doing more post op stuff. I agreed to take her for one week. She was not able to speak much and slept most of the time from the pain meds, so I sat and talked with her family most of the time. Her husband would not leave her side, not even to go get something to eat, so I went to the caffeteria and got him some food, and sat with her so he could take a shower (something he hadn't done in days). The family was so greatful they asked if I could have her as my patient again. I ended up taking care of her twice a week for three weeks before my rotaion was up, she passed away the next week. She is one of my most memerable patients. Months later at my daughters dance recitle I ran into the family, they remembered me and thanked me for everything I did for her, that was the first time I ever felt like a real nurse!
I understand how this will be hard for you to handle emotionally, but like others have said you have a wonderful gift to give these patientts and thier family, you have been in thier shoes and understnad how they feel and what they may need, something that many of us can't offer them.
rpbear
488 Posts
I am so sorry for your loss.
I also was very scared of the oncolgy rotation, but it ended up being my favorite rotation. I learned so much about holistic nursing care, caring for the whole person.
I too had and end stage cancer patient who was getting comfort measures. My instructor was very reluctant to give this patient to anyone, but the census was low so she asked who would take her and it would only be for one week since we were supposed to be doing more post op stuff. I agreed to take her for one week. She was not able to speak much and slept most of the time from the pain meds, so I sat and talked with her family most of the time. Her husband would not leave her side, not even to go get something to eat, so I went to the caffeteria and got him some food, and sat with her so he could take a shower (something he hadn't done in days). The family was so greatful they asked if I could have her as my patient again. I ended up taking care of her twice a week for three weeks before my rotaion was up, she passed away the next week. She is one of my most memerable patients. Months later at my daughters dance recitle I ran into the family, they remembered me and thanked me for everything I did for her, that was the first time I ever felt like a real nurse!
I understand how this will be hard for you to handle emotionally, but like others have said you have a wonderful gift to give these patientts and thier family, you have been in thier shoes and understnad how they feel and what they may need, something that many of us can't offer them.
Good luck!