Published Mar 18, 2012
belle005
46 Posts
Ok, I just came off orientation in OB (first RN job). I work L&D, PP, and Nursery on a rotating basis. I'm sick to my stomach with worry and fear and dread and I want to quit so bad I can't even stand the thought of going back one more day. I wanted to do OB, but now I'm not sure I even like it. L&D scares me to death... blue babies scare me... postpartum bleeding scares me... c-section recoveries scare me.... I'm such a worry wart after I leave that I can't let anything go that I may or may not have done wrong during the day. I'm a huge ball of stress and nerves and am becoming depressed and isolated when I'm at home.
Questions... is this normal? does it get better? how long do you give it before deciding a specialty - or even nursing in general - is not for you? I feel terrible guilt because I know how expensive orientation is for the hospital and I feel I owe them some quality time for training me. I wish so bad that I was liking this better.
melmarie23, MSN, RN
1,171 Posts
I was a nervous nelly coming off orientation (just last month-early Feb!), so I totally know where you are coming from. But when I primaried my first birth off of orientation, it was such a high and felt AWESOME. And having a neonatal code, PPH, c-hyst (the result of an acreta) all while on orientation made me feel more confident while the situations themselves I would not wish for on anyone (all parties ended up fine!). I love my co-workers, we are all team players and I am never alone, and I just remind myself that. I always have my red "help" button I can push if I need extra hands. There is always another RN in the room for the delivery just in case. Our unit really runs like a well oiled machine and I feel very supportive. I hope that the same is for you and that with time you gain more confidence as I have.
(thats not to say that I still am scared/nervous for other situations that I was not "oriented to" becuase they didnt present themselves in the months I was orienting-prolapsed cord, shoulder dystocia, placental abruption, and some others. But again, I know I'll always have backup. So I take comfort in that)
PinkNBlue, BSN, RN
419 Posts
I agree with melmarie... I'm still on orientation and get nervous... but you have to remember, you're never by yourself. If you're unsure of something, ask. If you're 99% sure but 1% not? Ask. Change is scary and you're in a new role from student to primary nurse. Give it some time because anywhere you go as a new grad, I'm convinced, you'll feel similar because we're new and inexperienced. The only way we'll start to feel a little more comfortable is experience and we'll get there. :)Hang in there! I'm just doing postpartum so maybe you're feeling overwhelmed by the acuity of L&D, nursery and PP. is there a way you can stick to one area for now?
nurseliane, ADN
16 Posts
I can only offer you support, but no advice. I am coming of off orientation into my LDRP unit and frankly terrified and completely uncertain in so many ways. If it's any help, you are not alone. And, it has to get better. It just has to. No amount of paychecks could be worth walking in the door everyday if the level of anxiety and fear about work remain this high. Right?
Queen2u
242 Posts
It's all normal. Don't allow your fear to hinder you. Just let your coworkers and manager if need be know that you are feeling a little nervous about being fresh off of orientation. I know they will (or should) be sensitive to this and offer you whatever support you will need. Guess what? THEY ALL FELT IT WHEN THEY WERE BRAND NEW, TOO!!!!! I have only been working for about a year and a half myself and there are still things that make me a bit uneasy, and I keep hearing from many many nurses with years of experience that you should kinda feel this way as a nurse anyway since there is always something new to learn. Stick in there, ask as many questions as you need to (even if you have 100 a day), learn all you can and put your best foot coward every day. Fear and anxiety will make you feel as though you made the wrong decision in terms of career, and that's normal. If nursing turns out to really not be for you, you will know in time.
Thank you for the responses! I am soooooooo nervous.... I think I'm most afraid of missing something with the babies. I had one newborn where my preceptor called the doctor and was very concerned and another newborn that looked EXACTLY the same to me as the previous one, and she was like "oh, the baby's fine, just transitioning, stop worrying". ???? I'm so confused about when to worry.... I hope I get the hang of this SOON.