Feeling unliked and unrespected at work

[Juniper83]

Hi everyone,

Just looking for some advice as I have dealt with this a long time, not just as a nurse but in my previous jobs as well. No matter what I do I cannot seem to fit in at work. I am naturally quiet and introverted and kind of socially awkward. I would probably tend to prefer to work alone, however I always try to be nice and helpful to everyone. I am more comfortable around some people than others, and I think the more comfortable I am the more talkative or "myself" I am. Basically I know other nurses talk about me behind my back. I know they've made fun of me for things or made snide comments about me. I heard one nurse say once to others that she had to work with me tonight in an unpleasant way. There's a couple charge nurses who are friends with each other and I know they've gossiped about me too, making fun of things I have done like I am stupid. There's a group of nurses that like to go out after work sometimes and I have gone a couple times with them to try to be friendly and social, but they just talk about sex and gossip/talk crap about a couple other nurses, so I don't care to go anymore. I know I'm not the only person who is gossiped about, but I feel like a target a lot and feel a vibe of disrespect among other nurses, including charge nurses. Now there are some very nice nurses at my job that I like to work with, and I try not to take work home with me, but I can't help it. I have cried and stressed many times because of this. I just want to fit in and be liked and happy while I am at work. I work in the ER and have been there and been a nurse for a little over a year now. I have thought about doing home health nursing instead, So I wont have to work with other coworkers much. But I also would like to do travel nursing so I'm not sure. So I'm just looking for any nice advice please.

[KatieMI, BSN, MSN, RN]

Being a natural and very deep introvert, I can relate, too.

I came to the point of not caring any more after a couple of years. I have my own life which is as distant from ones of 95% of people who surround me as it could be, and I am not going to change it just to be "accepted" by them. They have football, I have Royal Shakesperian Company, good enough for all of us.

That being said, mastering to stellar level some of the skills needed in a particular unit helps a lot. Even mean gossipers would think another time before painting black someone who can put in that IV, fix the beeping wound vac or speak with that forever angry surgeon.

[operations]

I never fit in exactly with anywhere I work completely. But do I mind? Not at all. I rarely allow the colleague relationship to become a friendship. This is based on a good fit for my personality, which not many are, and incredible amounts of trust. I don't participate in gossip games and that behavior repels me. However, I do not blame people that they do this. This is how they are, and I am how I am. I am incredibly secure with myself and not fraternizing with this type of person bothers me in the least, in fact, I prefer it that way. I do have closer colleague relationships with those who are very competent, reliable, focused, and ethical. I do believe these relationships are essential for bettering yourself in you career, as well as expanding your network and building bridges. I am not saying that you should adopt the same philosophy as me, but I will tell you I am very happy with my professional social situation.