Feeling guilty for poor pt. outcomes...

[Keely-FutureRN]

I am a pre-nursing student and work in the PACU and Same Day Surg. as a CNA. We had a code the other day that was really hard. The pt. was young (40's) with some sort of internal bleed and all her kids were crying and praying outside in the hall. Sadly, she didn't make it. It reminded me of when I used to work on a cardiac floor and was a 1:1 and my pt. coded right infront of me. It's so hard to feel like its not my fault or that I could have done something different (and I did do everything I could). I feel so sensitive sometimes because the codes really effect me and I feel guilty even though I may not have been part of that patients' care. I am a little worried because I don't want this feeling to intensify once I become a nurse due to the added responsibility. Do any of you ever experience this and if so, have any comments on how you deal with this? Thanks in advance.:icon_hug:

Keely

[nursediz]

If you didn't care...you wouldn't be working the job you are now. It comes with the territory. For every life you feel you have helped 'save' you have several others that you are going to feel like you didn't all you could.

I firmly believe that TLC is the best med. It may not save a heartbeat...but, it may revive the soul.

I worked in PEDS only 2 months b.c. I could not handle the emotions involved. I saw so many cases of abuse and neglect that it just broke me into. Also, I recall my preceptor having me observe her starting an IV on an 11 month old little boy...tears welled up in my eyes. And, the first time "I" had to start an IV i kept my cool thru it...but, ended up having to go outside in 10 degree weather to calm myself. I ended up resigning after about 3 abuse cases came in within a 8 hour period(one a 6 month old with a fractured skull). Being a nurse that can handle these kind of cases is a VERY compassionate person who knows that the hours they spend with these children is beneficial. I just couldn't shake it off and not take the work home with me.

I sincerely hope that you do continue with your plans to go to nursing school. You seem to be a very compassionate person. We each find our own way to cope with situations. You do what any prudent nurse would do in the situation regarding medical treatments etc...then you let your other human side come out. When I was a CNA at a LTC facility I cried softly in front of a family when their mother had died...they embrassed me and said that to see me cry let them know that ppl did care about thier mother at the facility and that made them feel better about thier choice of putting her in a nursing home.

You should feel what you want to feel and nothing more and nothing less. Always remember, you yourself do not determine when it is a patients "time to go". That is someone higher who calls those shots.

Best of luck!!

[Katnip, RN]

Caring is one thing. Feeling guilty and/or breaking down every time a patient dies is another.

All nurses need to develop a compassionate distance. Absolutely, there are always patients that get to us on a personal level and it hurts when they die. But if you allow yourself to take it very personally and deeply each and every time, then that is the way to self-destruction.

The only time you should be taking a death personally is if you did something directly to cause that death.

Nobody likes it when a patient dies. It's hard. But there is often nothing we can do about it.

[angel337, MSN, RN]

it's ok that you feel this way, you are human,but you do have to learn to manage your coping skills because as a nurse (especially in ICU or ED) you will see death consistently and just know that as long as you did your best within reason to support the patient and the family...you have done a great thing. it will get better, and yes you will have those patients that will make you cry, but just remember that death is part of life and it is important that you stay strong for yourself and the patient/patients family.