feeling discouraged, defeated, and confused

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I started working on a med/surge unit at a local hospital. When I was hired (along with 16 other new grads) we were not told what unit we would be working on or what shift. I was just elated that I got hired. During my interview for this position, I informed them I would not be able to work nights. I was oriented for 6 weeks on a floor that I absolutely loved. Then I was informed I would be moving to an ortho-neuro floor but would still be working days. I absolutely hated it. Only one other new grad was moved to a different unit after six weeks of orientation. She no longer works for this hospital. I went to the powers that be (who stated to all new grads that if we were unhappy or there was a problem let them know). So I went and told them I felt very uncomfortable on this particular unit. I had only 3 weeks orientation on this particular unit. I was told to basically give it time it would work itself out. A few weeks later, I again went to the powers that be and told them it wasn't working. Again I was told to give it more time. I finally put my foot down and tactfully and nicely said I wouldn't be able to work on this unit any longer. I was given an option of working on the floor I loved on nights or I could quit. I chose against my better judgement to take the night position out of desperation to get away from the ortho-neuro unit I hated so much. Needless to say nights did not work for me as I knew deep down it wouldn't. They then tried to get me to work as a charge nurse in a mental health adolescent unit. One day of shadowing there was enough. There was no way I was going to do that. Not my cup of tea. I did not want to burn any bridges but was informed if I was resigning the only way to fulfill my 4 weeks notice was to do it on nights. This was not possible. When I tried nights I was up constantly, could not get on a good sleep regimen. Well I ended up quitting and didn't give 4 weeks notice. I had been very up front with my supervisors. I kept them informed of how I felt I was doing and all I ever got was statements like "just muttle through". I now am job hunting. I feel like a big fat failure. I have had a few interviews one at a doctors office and one at a long term health care facility. I do find the Doctors office a little appealing since there would be no holidays and no weekends. I find myself feeling very torn. On one hand I think the less stressful atmosphere would be right for me right now but eventually I would love to become an ICU nurse and know I need at least 1 year experience to get there. Would another hospital still hire me if I have been at doctors office for a couple of years because obviously I wouldn't be able to use the hospital I started out at for a reference in the future, or would I be better off going right back to med/surge. I welcome any advice anyone can give. Thanks for listening to me ramble on.

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I myself am a brand new nurse and I feel your pain. I too am struggling with feelings of inadequacy, stress, fatique (i work nights at a hospital an hour away from my home) and unhappiness. I went to my nurse manager and told him how I was feeling and he told me that what I am going through is normal and that I'd feel like this for a year or two. I wanted to cry. I can't feel like this for another year or two! I am working on 3 different med/surg units. I go into work never knowing what unit I'll be on. Our patients are very high acuity and staff is stretched thin. A lot of the other nurses I work with are new grads also and they are feeling the same way as I do, so I keep going in, night after night, hoping it will get better. The last two weeks only seemed worse! I came home crying last week for the first time. It was horrible. I'm sorry I rambled, but what I wanted to say is that I applaud your honesty with your supervisor. You felt uncomfortable in your current situation and you are doing something about it. To me, a future employer could possibly see that as integrity and honesty and having the guts to speak up when you just don't feel right about a situation. But that is just my opinion. Good luck in whatever you decide! Remember, you are not alone!

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Specializes in Trauma,ER,CCU/OHU/Nsg Ed/Nsg Research.

My intention is not to be mean here, so I hope this doesn't sound mean. That being said, What could they have possibly done to accommodate you any further? You say that all you got from your supervisors was, "Just muddle through," but they tried to place you in 3 different positions to make you happy. Plus, they gave you a day shift position right off the bat. You can't be upset with the facility if they didn't have a day shift position on the floor you liked. How many nurses are working night shift on that floor, waiting for a day shift position to open up?

If you were to wait it out and transfer to the ICU after your year, you still might have had to work nights there too, until it was your turn to move to days. You may have difficulty getting an ICU job without previous hospital experience, and without waiting in line behind everybody else who has stayed and paid their dues.

There isn't one area of hospital nursing that isn't hard or stressful- ICU included. It's easy to think that critical care nursing might be less stressful, because you only have 2 patients, but those 2 patients are usually very sick, and you will be busy with them.

You might need to give yourself enough time in one area to get over the transition period and see if you actually dislike that area. The transition period is tough for all new nurses.

It takes about a year to even remotely feel comfortable as a new nurse. Give yourself that amount of time before you transfer out.

After that, you may feel hospital nursing is not for you at all. Nothing wrong with that- it just may not be your cup of tea.

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Specializes in Travel Nursing, ICU, tele, etc.

One of the very best things about nursing is that you can keep trying different areas until you find your niche. Personally, I had 6 jobs the first 2 years or so I was a nurse and it never got in the way of me getting hired for another job. It is an accepted part of the "nursing culture" that people do change jobs frequently until they find the right fit for them. I don't think anything you have done will be too harmful. I believe honesty is the best policy and when you interview for new positions if you keep it brief that you just couldn't tolerate working nights, they should accept that. You are NOT a failure. How much IS your happiness worth? I guess doing the 4 wk notice would have been preferable, but my gosh, if they are hiring 16 new grads at a time, they must have a high turn-over. There is ALWAYS 2 sides to every story and I will bet they are not as accommodating as they led you to believe!

There is definitely still the possibility you could be an ICU nurse. I don't think you should give up on your dream. Why don't you find out if any of the hospitals in your area are hiring new grads for ICU? It happens all the time. If they have good preceptorships it works very well. I have seen it happen.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to stay positive. It will all work out. You WILL find your niche. Follow your heart. I have a strong feeling that you already do...that is why you already know when something is not right for you. Our intuition does not lie to us! Trust that inner voice and trust yourself! The perfect opportunity will show up for you! Good luck!

:yeah::yeah::yeah: trust that inner voice and you will SUCCEED!!

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if you want to work icu, there are many hospitals that have orientation programs geared for new grads.

do some research, and persevere.

if icu is what you want, see where your journey will bring you.

however, there's a high probability that you will be expected to work nocs, at least on a rotating schedule.

either way, listen to your gut and go for it.

then show 'em what you're made of.

best of everything to you. :balloons:

leslie

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Specializes in ER, ICU, Cardiac, Med-Surg.

First of all, let me say that I am sorry to hear you are having such a rough start to your nursing career. :o

I would suggest you evaluate your goals and consider why you wanted to become a nurse. You say you want to work in the ICU setting. What compromises are you willing to make to get there? How important is that goal to you in the overall scheme of things? Is it something you could wait to do when you have a bit more experience as a nurse (few years down the road)? Write down what your short term and long term goals are. See what your top priorities and "must haves" are. Talk to people: nurses, your nursing instructors, your family and listen to what they have to say.

I guess I would hesitate to grab the first job that you see out there, because you may end up similarly unhappy. Apply and interview all over the place and see what happens. Realize that once you have that first year under your belt (usually med-surg) you can do almost anything!

Also I think that after you get a year or so of experience your options will seem more favorable to you. I am only a year out and many of my former classmates have changed jobs already from where they started. Bigger and better things from their point of view.

It is hard to put that into perspective right now. You are understandably hurt, upset, and scared. I understand that. Take care and try not to beat yourself up. Let us know what you decide to do! You can pm me if you want to have a more private discussion of things.

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Thanks you made me feel a little better about the situation. I have put more resumes out there and have been very upfront with the agencies I have interviewed with about what had happened and surprisingly they have all been understanding so far. It only took three days to hear back from two of the places I took resumes to. This makes me feel a little better about my future prospects. Thanks again!

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