Family Members and their pearls of wisdom...

Nurses Relations

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I don't think a shift goes by where I don't shake my head and think "what is wrong with people??"

Here are some gems I've heard recently from patients' families:

While I'm meeting/vitaling a new ED pt, pt's 50-something son says:

"Hey are you into music?"

Me: "um, sure"

Son: "So you like Amy Winehouse?"

Me: "uh, no, that's not really my thing, why do you ask?"

Son: "Oh I just love turning people on to music."

oookay, so this would be a perfect time to do that, with your sick dad right here, and someone you just met 5 seconds ago...:rolleyes:

In triage, a clearly manic patient comes in and starts spewing out a litany of complaints, including how he has been off his psych meds for a while (shocker). The woman accompanying him interrupts him and says to me

"Do I gotta stay here? Cuz I don't wanna stay here"

Me: "umm I don't even know who you are, how would you like me to answer that question??" :confused:

While precepting a new RN, I hear screaming and yelling coming from the room where she has just gone to start an IV. I quickly run in to see the elderly patients daughter screaming "Yeah! Stick her hard! Stick her good!" ?!?! How do people like this even exist???

A young girl is brought to an exam room and the first thing her boyfriend says "she needs something to eat. She has not eaten all day"

My verbal response: " I'm sorry, she cannot eat until she is seen by a doctor."

In my head I'm thinking "who has been stopping this young and healthy woman from eating all day, and why is that now my problem? And if that has anything to do with why she is here, i.e. nausea/vomiting etc, then why on earth is THIS the very moment that she MUST eat?!?"

A young guy marches up to triage and yells: Robert Smith!! (name has been changed)

Me: Umm, what about him? Is there something I can help you with?

Guy: Yes! We are here to pick him up!

My verbal response: "Okay he is in spot 12, make a right and a left..."

In my head: Did you really expect me to know what you wanted by his name alone???? :banghead:

95 y/o Patient on hospice for lung cancer, inoperable, chemo will not help, hence hospice. Family wants CT scans of the lungs every month. why? "we NEED to see how big the tumor is." because that's not a waste of medicare dollars? we're not treating it, it doesn't matter how f@#$#@g big it is. -____-

The things I see people do to their family members. "I WANT EVERYTHING DONE!" when the best thing would really be...nothing.

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Specializes in Emergency Room.

Gotta love obnoxious family members, when the patient themselves is just the sweetest thing! Happens all the time, especially with the elderly. The patient is all smiley and thanking me for everything, while the son/daughter just cannot be pleased, yelling about the wait and how incompetent everyone is...:uhoh3: I always feel like saying "are you here for yourself, or for your mom?? Because she does not seem to be complaining! If you feel put out by being here, by all means, leave! Stop being a martyr and we will all have a much more pleasant evening!"

Also the helicopter families - great one last night. My co-worker's sweet LOL had this most annoying daughter, the type you wish you never gave the call bell. She is on that thing literally every minute, every time the monitor makes a tiny ding, every time her mom passes gas... you know the type. To make it worse, the mom had C-diff so every time she calls, gown up, go in for non-sense, un-gown...So I decided to help out when the light goes on the for 100th time. I go to the door to see what she wants: "Oh, this IV pump is just going CRAZY!!" I stare at her blankly and say "It's not going crazy. It's just beeping" and hit the restart button. Then: "My mom FINALLY pooped!! I just wanted you to know, because they have been waiting for that ALL DAY!!" :yelclap: Then she tells her mom good night and leaves, and the patient starts apologizing about how sorry she is to bother me, and how thankful she is, and how nice everyone is... Makes you wonder if she is the one who raised her daughter?!

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I also love having to explain that, just because your mom made you her medical POA for when she needs one, she is currently AOx3, so she is still making her own decisions. She stated that she already pooped today (day shift's notes concur), and no, I will not force her to take every PRN laxative known to man just because you want her to (and managed to get her Dr to order them; thank goodness they are PRN). "BUT I'M HER POA!!!!!!"

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Specializes in Emergency Room.
"My mother/father/sister/boyfriend/girlfriend has been RUSHED here in an ambulance!" In my head, "no they haven't". To the visitor, "what is their name?". They then look quizzically at me and get impatient because obviously, the only person that has been rushed to a tertiary hospital in an ambulance is their relative. Plus, I know that I haven't had any phone calls with sirens in the background, and about 5 crews are waiting to unload non-critical patients.

ALL the time!! And the looks on their faces when you tell them that the aforementioned patient is now sitting in the waiting room with everyone else and that no, calling an ambulance for nonsense did not guarantee that they'd be seen immediately, but good try! Priceless.

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Specializes in LDRP.

I had a nice gem of a pts wife the other day literally lurking over my shoulder as I fed her husband who has pretty advanced dementia his pureed food.

wife: "he doesnt like this liquid stuff, i feed him real food at home."

me: "well, the dr. and speech therapy have decided a puree diet is best at this time, as he has difficulties chewing and swallowing. He actually ate about 80% of his breakfast this morning."

wife: "well, as long as hes getting something, i want him to eat."

me: *continues feeding pt, who verbalizes that the food tastes good.

5 mins later...

pt: "thats enough."

me: "all done?"

pt: "yes i am full"

Me: *starts to put tray away*

wife: "what are you doing? John!! (name change), eat more, you need to eat more!"

Pt: "I am full woman!" :rotfl:

wife: looks at me in disgust and wispers "do you ever make them eat more, even though they say no?"

me: "huh? like force the food into his mouth against his will? no."

wife: "yes, force feed. i force feed him at home so he gets enough nutrition. could you please force him to eat the rest?"

me: "erm. no. thats kind of illegal."

she was not a big fan of me. oh well.. :rolleyes:

-------------------------------------------

wife of man getting plasmapheresis that day:

me: "ok Bob (name change), I've got your morning meds here." *rattle off all the meds I'm giving, including senna, miralax and colace*

wife: "oh, he wont be havin' those colaces and sennas."

me: "oh?"

pt: *cocks head with puzzled look*

wife: "Hes havin' that feesus today right?"

me: *thinking that feesus meant feces* "probably not if he doesnt have his stool softeners.."

wife: "why wont they let him have the feesus without those medications? he needs the feesus to live!"

me: "im sorry.. im not.. umm.. what?!"

wife: "fine, give him the medications. i just dont want him havin' to poop while theyre giving him the feesus because he cant take the machine in the bathroom with him and hell make a mess!"

me: :idea: "ohhhhh.. heh.. okay. the stool softeners wont make him go, they just make it easier to go. ill hold the miralax if you want."

wife: *nods matterafactly*

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Another Bright Moment in Endoscopy--

Me to Patient (with Family Member at bedside): you can go back to eating whatever your normal diet is, the doctor isn't changing anything.

Patient: ok.

FM: Can she have pancakes?

Me: Like I said, she can have whatever she normally has, no problem.

FM: Can she have eggs?

Me: Did she eat pancakes and eggs before today?

FM: No, she only had liquids for two days...

Me: Ok, let me try again. She can have whatever she ate BEFORE THE BOWEL PREP, her USUAL FOODS--WHATEVER.

Patient: ok, good

FM: So she can have breakfast when we leave?

I give up. Really.

Scenario #2--

Me: You might want to skip carbonated beverages today, no seltzer or soda, but everything else is fine.

Pt: ok.

FM: Can he have coffee?

Me: Is coffee carbonated? (I can't help myself, some people are idiots)

FM: So then he can have tea?

I give up. Again. People are stupid...the DRUGGED people understand better than their "attentive" family members sometimes....

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Specializes in Emergency, Haematology/Oncology.
My favorite of all time is: if the doctor doesnt come to see me right now, I am leaving! I want to say "do you promise?" But what I actually do is grab the AMA form. LOL

Yeah, I love this one too especially at triage. Pt. to paramedics: "If she puts me in the waiting room I'm going to leave". Paramedics: "Where would you like us to place the patient?". Me: "Have just one guess!".

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Specializes in Emergency.
How about the random person who stops you in the hall and says, "where's Joe Smith? He's not in his room." A. Who are you? B. Joe Smith is not my patient so C. Why would I know where he is? I used to get that kind of thing all the time in the hospital. That wasn't as bad as when doctors would walk into the back room though and say "who's taking care of Joe Smith?" Check the board. Then they come back, "Well where's Sue?" Am I her keeper? She has a phone number, call her.

Ugh. We have one hospitalist that consistently does this. He also wanders in at 0745 and is like, "who's on call for "x" service?" I don't know, dude! Call the comm center if you want to know that.

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Specializes in I/DD.
:eek:

How about the people who come up to you and say, "How is my grandmother?" Um WHO is your grandmother? Then they get made when you ask for a name. I'm sorry...I have no idea who YOU are.:uhoh3:

This happens EVERY day on my unit. There will be someone standing expectantly at the desk. I ask if they need anything and they promptly reply (usually sounding a bit snippity) "Yes, my husband needs to go to the bathroom!" Okay, I am happy to help, who is your husband? At this point the visitor looks quite offended and tells me what room they are coming from.

A: Have you ever heard of a call bell? THAT is what they are for!

B: I'm sorry that I don't know exactly what every patient's significant other/mother/father/sibling/child looks like. I have 5 patients, not 23. Don't expect me to know everything going on with every patient. Thanks :)

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Specializes in Emergency.

beckster's post made me think of this one.

When a family member catches me in the hall or comes up to the desk & demands to know what's going on with their loved ones care/what certain test results are & then get offended when I say something along the lines of, "well, I'm not taking care of your mom/dad/cousin/etc., so I don't know. But I can send the nurse in to update you. "

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Specializes in Hospice.

I work in LTC and float between the two units. One evening a family member came all the way to the unit I was on that night (not her mom's) and told me "My mom needs to be changed." Keep in mind that she visits often enough that I knew who her mother was without asking. I smiled my sweetest smile and said "Go ahead and turn the call light on and an aide will come take care of her." She thanked me and left to go back to mom. I'm shaking my head because in the time it took her to hunt me down and then return to turn on the call light, mom could have been changed. The same thing happened a little later that evening with a different family member. Some people seem to think the call light button is really a thumb exerciser while others seem to think it's just part of the decorations.

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