Family member complains after death...

[AtlantaRN, RN]

We had an end stage copd pt who was on service greater than 2 years. Pt had 2 caregivers who are nurses. Pt with several revokes for aggressive tx with intubation as 1 caregivers goal was sustaining life. Recently a hired caregiver called on call to report pt vomited x1. On call Rn instructed stop tf and give phenergan via peg n maintain high fowlers. On call called back On call called back 30 min later, pt was asleep, no further vomiting n no distress. 6 hrs later, hired caregiver called family member to report pt not breathing. Pt ended up at a local hospital & was pronounced deceased.

Fast forward 4 weeks, family member whose goal was to preserve life came to office to lodge a formal complaint stating life would have been sustained if on call nurse had visited.

I understand if is the holidays n a few complaints have come to the office concerning other patients, one pt passed 5 months ago, with families stating "I don't like the way the nurse treated me/family member.

Even nurses not affiliated with the patients are feeling hurt by the complaints . We give and give and give and it just isn't enough . Any words of wisdom I can offer my co-nurses ? Thank you

[caliotter3]

All you can tell them is that this is to be expected. If they can sleep at night with the care they rendered, then that is what is important.

[AtlantaRN, RN]

Truth. Social worker really helped put the situation in perspective for us. Complicated grief and transference secondary to unresolved conflicts in the relationship. Plus it's the holidays. Thank you for your response. I just hurt when others hurt.

[alyiana]

It's part of grief. We had a family member switch hospices a day before the death and then call a lawyer saying we caused the death. They didn't see her in the nursing home for several weeks. The CM called the family and told them she was doing bad, that they needed to visit etc, but they were too busy. 2 days before the death, the family came to visit and saw how bad mom was, and blamed us (because we were present). We are not worried about the outcome because we did everything we should have done, including notifying them of change in condition.

[TammyG]

It is amazing that, given the emotions we are involved with, there are not more complaints. My hospice recently had a complaint filed with the Board of Health -- which governs hospices in our state -- which was unfounded but very upsetting to all involved. It necessarily had to involve outside lawyers and we spent quite a bit of time crafting the response, even though we did nothing wrong. This is just a cost of doing business.