Expectations after your patient dies?

[Jo Dirt]

I have been taking care of a patient in private duty since Feb. '07. She died and the funeral is tomorrow.

I don't believe in funerals. I don't want a funeral for myself when I die and I don't go to funerals now.

The other nurses I worked with taking care of this patient plan to go to the funeral. I have no money to send flowers but I got a sympathy card to give to the family and was going to leave it at the funeral home.

Does this sound appropriate? I know some nurses who have said there comes a time when it is time to end the relationship and when a person dies the nurses need to step out of the picture, but I feel like this was different, since we worked with the patient on such a personal basis.

[prowlingMA]

When I was an NA and MA I never went to funerals. I have a little ritual I do at home, light a candle say a prayer. Or I would go into their room after the body was removed and say a pray surrounded by their things. You should do what ever gives you closure with that person.

[Ladybugleaqueen]

It really is a personal decision. I work in LTC and we get very close to the residents my first death hit me hard I was holding his hand and I thought I would go to the viewing. The day of I couldn't do it I could not open all of those emotions again. I did however go to one of my res viewings I wasn't with him when he passed and had gotten to know his wife very well I went to show her support. A card is completely appropriate you just need to do what you feel is right for you.