Everything I do is wrong!

I feel like I am reading my own personal story. I have been working at a hospital for 3 years in the delivery room. Started full time nights, hated nights, no day spots to be had, so I accepted a position at another hospital 2 days a week, day shift and still continue at my other hospital 1 night a week per diem.

Anyway, I have been on orientation at the new hospital for 4 weeks now, was supposed to come off today, and was told by the nurse educator "it's going a lot slower than we have anticipated". I feel like a new nurse all over again, and usually drive home each shift crying because I just feel like I am not doing what is expected. The hospital actually has a LOWER census than my other hospital but the paperwork and nitpicking is ridiculous. I am honestly considering leaving except I can't go back to nights full/part time and really don't want to begin another orientation somewhere else.

The politics are absolutely out of control, and my confidence feels completely shaken. Maybe we can commisserate together!

I feel bad for you because I'm sure it's very frustating to feel like you are not getting it, but if the pt. was bleeding "across the room" then absolutely you should have been rubbing her uterus not doing baby bands. Especialy if the was a baby nurse there. Where I work, if you need a baby nurse then you need to be focused on mom. Let the baby nurse do the baby stuff like bands. I'm sorry but if the situation is what you said, then I agree with your preceptor.

It doesnt sound like you are in a very supportive environment to me. They should be teaching you these things, not yelling at you about them. Perhaps a job switch is in order?

Sorry this is happening to you.

P.S. Why was she doing fundal massage? Our docs always do it, unless they ask us to. It wasnt being done for the labial tear of course, so...well I dont know. Maybe I dont have enough info but it sounds like a dumb thing for her to yell about.

PCMom, the baby nurse had nothing to do, the NICU team was taking care of the baby and she had offered to be the MD's assistant. I am glad she was doing fundal massage, usually our doc's do this too but the md was busy stitching, if she hadn't been there, I would have been doing it, if I'd known that the md requested it. Also, the baby nurse doesn't do the baby bands, the primary nurse does them. I really feel so unsupported and made to feel wrong about everything but maybe I am wrong.

Have you tried telling your preceptor how you feel? If you don't feel you can, then you going to have trouble there in that unit, I believe. If I missed this, I am sorry. I read what you said about the nurse educator, but where is the person assigned to precept you with all this??

I've been there and done that. To be in a situation where it's a no win situation all the time is probably the most frustrating, heartbreaking situation to be in. I cried every single day I was on my L&D orientation. Nothing I ever did was good enough, in the right order or up to the standards of "them". And I understand, you can't win for losing.....I've been there......if you would've done the fundal massage then they would've been yelling at you because the bands weren't done. I know......

I quit my toxic work environment job and went to another facility that is so incredibly supportive it's the complete opposite side of the pendulum - it's so wonderful.

Try talking to your preceptor about it, your nurse manager about, the educator about it. Talk to someone. Tell them how you feel. If they aren't willing to be supportive then you have basically two choices, suck it up and deal with it or quit. Only you can decide what is best for you.

Good luck!!!!

YOU ARE NOT A BAD NURSE.....

YOU HAVE A BAD PRECEPTOR!!!!!

Come to SC I'll train you

Stick with it don't let them eat you.

OK - here's where I will probably upset everyone. The first time I was told to do a lady partsl exam I told the head nurse (also my preceptor at a high risk very busy L&D unit) that I had never done one before. She said, just look at the dilitation chart on the wall above the patient's head and try to visualize what you feel. I got it right and haven't made an incorrect eval since. I feel like L&D nursing is in my soul. I'm not trying to boast. There are better nurses out there, I am sure. But I seem to have a sixth sense for trouble and have made it my business to know what to do in such cases. It takes time and lots of reading and practice. I ate up every minute of my orientation. It was to be 6 weeks, but at 4 weeks I was mostly on my own. I asked one of the nurses how long it would take before I felt "comfortable". She said a year. By six months I think I had seen about everything I could ever imagine and made it through all of it. Yes, there were times I was frustrated or unsure of myself. But I ASKED QUESTIONS whenever. I never felt like any question was too stupid. Once an MD found my crying after a particularly difficult crisis (mom and babe were fine). He asked me what was wrong and I told him I felt awful that I hadn't anticipated his needs. He reminded me that none of us are mind readers. We do the best we can and if we need help we ASK.

If you don't feel like you are "getting it" perhaps L&D isn't where you will shine. If you don't feel you are getting a good orientation - ask for a different preceptor - talk to the head nurse. Do whatever you can to be the best nurse you can be. I hope you make it. I love OB.

Noor

One More Thing - I have found L&D to be the most competitive area I have ever worked. I love it, but the nurses are extremely competitive. Sometimes that means you don't get a good orientation. Control is their issue. If you are meant to be a L&D nurse, you will "get it". Hang in there.

Noor

I think it depends on the environment you are in. I have been an L&D nurse for almost 20 years and an L&D traveler for over a year. I have always "shined" in every environment I've been in until now. Most of the nurses I work with are half my age and only a fraction of my experience, but every day I am made to feel like I am stupid and don't know what I am doing.

I just keep telling myself, 5 weeks down, 8 to go, and I will move on to somewhere else. Maybe it is not you, it is where you work. If you really want to L&D, you might try at another hospital.

OK - here's where I will probably upset everyone. The first time I was told to do a lady partsl exam I told the head nurse (also my preceptor at a high risk very busy L&D unit) that I had never done one before. She said, just look at the dilitation chart on the wall above the patient's head and try to visualize what you feel. I got it right and haven't made an incorrect eval since. I feel like L&D nursing is in my soul. I'm not trying to boast. There are better nurses out there, I am sure. But I seem to have a sixth sense for trouble and have made it my business to know what to do in such cases. It takes time and lots of reading and practice. I ate up every minute of my orientation. It was to be 6 weeks, but at 4 weeks I was mostly on my own. I asked one of the nurses how long it would take before I felt "comfortable". She said a year. By six months I think I had seen about everything I could ever imagine and made it through all of it. Yes, there were times I was frustrated or unsure of myself. But I ASKED QUESTIONS whenever. I never felt like any question was too stupid. Once an MD found my crying after a particularly difficult crisis (mom and babe were fine). He asked me what was wrong and I told him I felt awful that I hadn't anticipated his needs. He reminded me that none of us are mind readers. We do the best we can and if we need help we ASK.

If you don't feel like you are "getting it" perhaps L&D isn't where you will shine. If you don't feel you are getting a good orientation - ask for a different preceptor - talk to the head nurse. Do whatever you can to be the best nurse you can be. I hope you make it. I love OB.

Noor

Noor,

I think it's great that you had a positive experience, however everyone's experience is different.

There's too many variables involved to make a blanket statement regarding comfort level and timing. There's the doctors, nurses, patients, hospital policies, orientation structure, skill of preceptors, acuity, location, culture, etc.

As for seeing everything imaginabe in 6 months, all I can say is 'wow'. I work in a high risk L and D unit as well, and the nurses who have been working here for 10 years + have not seen everything and are always learning new techniques, new ways of thinking and new ways disease manifest in pregancy and postpartum.

I do agree that us newbies need to read as much as possible and ask questions. To the OP, find that person you can ask questions to, allow that person to be your unofficial preceptor. There are nurses that like that role, but are interested in the paperwork or the politics involved in doing it. Seek out that person.

Good luck!

I was in exactly the same situation 7 months ago. When I had originally started my orientation I thought my preceptor was great, friendly, a really nice person. By the end of it I would cry every morning on my way home. I could do nothing right, I would work my a** off all night long and she would mention the one thing I forgot "you were 15 minutes late on a temp". She got to the point where she was downright hostile towards me and would sit around with little sticky notes making notes about what I was doing wrong. They ended up extending my orientation (my preceptor never mentioned it to me I had to find out from my manager) and when I finally met with my manager about it she was just rude and condescending to me when she had always been friendly. I didn't get it at the time, but I just didn't pass their 'tests' and so there was no way I'd ever make it. I've come to find out that this unit has a horrible reputation as being hugely clicky and rude. They never even fired me, the manager just never scheduled me for another shift and never even called me.

Looking back this was the best thing that could've happened to me. I found a job at another hospital, in L&D. I was a little nervous, my confidence was at an all time low. My first couple of days of orientation my preceptor asked me a bunch of questions about what would you do if... what does this mean... would you do this. I answered everything correct and she told me that even some of the experienced nurses would've answered some of those questions wrong. She looked at me and said "yeah, you'll do just fine here". It was such a relief I started crying. I really thought I would never be able to work in L&D, but now I'm at a hospital where they're supportive of me, they don't mind my questions and in fact, encourage them. I've been able to switch to a 36 hr/wk pool position (which wasn't offered at my last hospital) I"m able to pick up extra shifts if I want to. I've found that at some hospitals L&D nurses are not only competetive, they are just mean and nasty. It may not be you, it may just be the nurses you're working with. If they feel like you won't make it (for their standards or for their personal reasons) they'll cut you from the herd and feed you to the wolves. Find a hospital where you're appreciated and where you don't have to leave crying everyday, life is too short to work in that environment.

Take care and keep us updated,